Fractured
by ela11
Summary: The Reapers have been dealt with, and so too their creators. It should mean that Shepard and Kaidan can have a little peace. But something else lurks in the background that threatens to tear them and the galactic community apart. Follows 'Struggle' and 'Resistance'.
1. Chapter 1

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 1**

Admiral Terra Shepard walked into the docking bay in her dress blues to a round of raucous applause from her crew, among others. Warmth filled her as she looked at them all gathered together again. Like them, she'd been passing time elsewhere for the last year and a half, just waiting for this moment.

Flashes of light to her left reminded her this was an event she had to share beyond her circle of friends and family. A multitude of reporters were crammed to one side, calling out in a bid to get a sound-bite to accompany the footage being captured by the hovering cameras clinking against each other. They were under the watchful eyes of the C-Sec officers Garrus had placed for crowd control, and Garrus himself was vigilantly overseeing them all from his elevated view beside the airlock.

Her pulse quickening in anticipation as the crew parted for her, Shepard could only focus beyond the viewing window at the newly-constructed vessel that beckoned her.

_'__SSV Normandy' _was emblazoned proudly across the sleek flank in that familiar blue, but framed in black. As expected, the Alliance emblem followed it with its solid arcs and stars, but more prominently was the far larger symbol of the Spectres in silver, superimposed over the name without interfering, instead giving '_Normandy'_ a winged look. It was a nod from both the Alliance and the Council that Normandy was built solely for the command of the first human Spectre, and Shepard was incredibly honoured by it.

"She's waiting for you." Kaidan's voice and proximity as he spoke softly into her ear never failed to reach her core, and heat rose up to her cheeks. She checked around her, hoping no one noticed. A quick glance revealed his luscious lips pressed together as though not to laugh. He'd done it on purpose, but two could play that game, and she turned just enough so that her backside brushed against his crotch, eliciting a small intake of breath from her husband. She flung him a look, silently telling him she was definitely going to make time to christen those new quarters in the coming hours….

"What do you think, Shepard?" called out Donnelly, his 20 month-old daughter perched on his shoulders, looking bemused by it all. "She's a beauty, right?" He grinned out at the ship that awaited them.

"Of course she is. She's been made with love," enthused Gabby.

Shepard moved towards them, reaching up to stroke the sweet face of Skye. "She's just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her."

"Uh… I was talking about the ship, actually," said Ken, and Shepard laughed.

"She knows that, dummy," sighed Gabby before beaming proudly up at her little girl, understanding Shepard's words as the double meaning she'd intended.

"Oh. Right." Ken still looked none the wiser. "Well I can't tell you how grateful we are to you for bringing us in for the re-build. It's been a real privilege," gushed Ken. "I could have happily done it without being bossed about by the old guy-"

"Hey, watch it," warned Adams, light-heartedly.

"-but that young quarian of yours actually taught me a thing or two!"

"Her engineers better keep her in tip-top condition," ribbed Daniels.

Shepard's quarian engineer, Clay, stepped forward with a salute. "Don't worry. I think we're up to the task."

"Daniels was right, though" added Adams. "The SR-3's got our hearts and souls poured into her, Admiral. She's made for _you_."

The rumble of accord from everyone around her sent Shepard on the edge of blubbering, only the presence of the cameras keeping her mask in place.

A small figure passed by them determinedly, little hands grasping the railing. Aurora 'Rorie' Alenko peered out intently, before turning with a pout. "I want it to have a five on it, so it's the same number as me."

The declaration made them all laugh and Shepard crouched to address her daughter as she looked at the _SR-3_ detailed on the thrusters. "That's how many 'Normandy's' there been. I'm really hoping there's no need for a _fourth_, let alone a fifth."

"Couldn't agree more," said Kaidan. Their eight-month old son, Nathan, was held securely within the circle of his father's arm, and far more interested in the floating machines recording them. "And what would happen when you turn six?"

Rorie looked up at her father like he'd lost all sense. "You change the number, daddy. It's only paint."

"Huh! Right. Uh, sorry, honey."

"Admiral Shepard!" The reporter's voice shouted over the others, pulling her rudely out of a private moment in its demand to be heard. "It's been close to two years since the last Normandy was destroyed. Will you finally release a response as to exactly what happened and by whom?" Shepard relegated that and the rest of the ensuing questions back to incessant background noise. It was all she _could_ do. The Council had requested the past threat of the Leviathans be kept quiet to maintain the public's perception they were safe. The idea of indoctrination was one that was feared as much as any unseen killer such as a viral epidemic, and people rested easier believing it had been wiped out along with the Reapers. Shepard felt no desire to change that, even if that threat had also been eradicated.

She was about to turn away when she glimpsed a face at the back of the crowd so familiar but so shockingly impossible that it took her breath away. Anderson.

He wore that no-nonsense look that had been broadcast so many times since his death: it demanded respect while telling you he was someone you could confide in without judgement. Then a reporter jostled in front of him and when the view cleared so too had the vision of David.

"Mommy?"

The sound of Rorie's voice tinged with worry had Shepard blinking out of her trance, and running a reassuring hand over her daughter's black hair.

Kaidan moved to block the media's view with his back. "Ignore them. The Council wanted a big show of Normandy's unveiling, not a Q&A session."

Shepard gave Kaidan a nod, choosing not to correct his assumption, though an unease spread through her. She missed David, and she'd have loved him to be here for this, but actually conjuring him up in her mind was beyond creepy. When Kaidan moved again, her eyes involuntarily flicked back to where she'd imagined Anderson but, of course, there was nothing there.

Then the thrum of the ship's engines started on the other side of the glass, drawing her attention back to where it belonged, and provoking further elation from the crew. It was no surprise her impatient pilot was already aboard – Joker abhorred ceremony as much as she did - and that was doubtless his way of telling her to 'hurry it up, already'.

Adams stepped in front of her with a smart salute and a proud grin. "Ready, Admiral?"

"Absolutely. Lead the way, Adams."

Thoughts of being on her new ship and leaving this media circus behind, spurred Shepard on, and her 'episode' was pushed to the back of her mind. Rorie raced past Adams to be the first at the door. "Excited?" Shepard laughed at her daughter.

"Uh huh!" Rorie bounced, long used to the press attention and paying no mind as the lights and flashes followed her. Shepard was caught up in that enthusiasm as she stopped at the airlock. Her hand rested briefly on Garrus' arm by way of greeting, to which she received the barest of nods before he returned to his watch; as always taking personal responsibility for the safety of the younger members of their eclectic and ever-growing 'family'.

Behind her, the reporters quietened, waiting for a speech. The crew had congregated around her again, and the only thing she read in their faces was the same eagerness _she_ felt to get this done so they could board. With no compulsion to accommodate the media, she simply declared, "Let's do this," to an approving round of cheers and whistles from her crew.

"Care to do the honours, Miss Alenko?" Adams gestured at the door whilst addressing Rorie who looked beyond pleased at the VIP treatment.

"Open Sesame," Rorie declared regally to the door, and the hatch slid open invitingly to yet another round of applause from the crew behind them.

"Happy flying," wished Garrus. "Oh, and Rorie – no calibrating without me," he said with pretend sincerity.

Rorie giggled, then gave him a salute with an "Aye, Uncle Gus."

Stepping on board was like returning home after far too long away, and Shepard could admit there were times she thought Normandy would never be ready. She savoured the moment, absorbing every detail she could see from where she stood: the low lighting, the hum of the engine gently vibrating the floor beneath her and driving life through every part of the ship, the murmur of her crew conversing as they filed past her and into the ship, the smell of recycled air and leather. That last one, in particular, made her smile.

"So you got the leather seat," she grinned as she entered the bridge.

Joker spun to face her with the look of a man who had gotten everything he wanted in life. "Fits like a glove – a soft, sexy padded one. Guess the Brass have finally wised up to the fact they need to look after their finest." He sank back with a contented sigh. "Boy, it's good to be back. Hackett's ship is great and all, but she's no Normandy." He returned to his console. "Oh, and welcome aboard, Admiral," he flung over his shoulder as an after-thought.

"What about me, Uncle Joker?" Rorie skipped over to peer around his chair.

"Yeah, yeah, you too, Pip-squeak. Just _don't_-_touch_-_anything_."

"Are you taking me to school now!?" she squealed in delight, jumping into the co-pilot's seat. "Can _I_ drive?"

Rorie reached for the console and Joker batted her hand away. "Uh, what did I just say? Yes, I am, and no, you can't. Go find Cortez. I'm sure he'll let you _drive_ a shuttle."

"Really!?"

Shepard gave the back of Joker's head a light slap while Kaidan audibly sighed beside her.

"No, honey, and stop teasing her, Joker," warned Kaidan.

Seeing Rorie in the co-pilot's seat reminded Shepard someone was missing. "Where's Edi?"

"She's down in the AI Core, doing a final check before downloading her systems," explained Joker. "It's been weird not having her around all this time. You wouldn't believe how often I forgot myself and started talking to the air. Pretty sure Hackett's crew think I'm crazy. Having Edi on Liara's ship was just plain unnatural."

"_I was merely a passenger on the Avastus. Though it was a fascinating experience to assist the Shadow Broker, I can assure you, Normandy is the only ship for me, Jeff. She alone has the sensor arrays dispersed throughout the ship that I require in order to be a part of it." _

"Hey Edi, you're back! I mean, _all_ the way back."

"_The transition of my Core backups into Normandy is complete. I am fully integrated._"

"So? How does she feel?" Shepard suddenly felt anxious over the answer, like this was an all-important test for _Normandy_, and to fail in this would be to mar the whole ship.

"_Like I have come home."_

That made Shepard very happy. Normandy SR-3 was complete.

"_Being confined solely to my mobile unit was strangely limiting. It may sound contradictory, but becoming contained within the ship again brings a freedom I have missed._"

Shepard couldn't have put it better herself, and it brought no small amount of amazement that she could have so much in common with her artificial friend.

"I know _I_ missed her," purred Joker.

Shepard watched her helmsman stroke his hands over his armrests and knew exactly how he felt. If she could, she would have hugged the ship. The SR-3 may be brand-new, but it still felt like an old companion who had returned from a long absence, helped along by the almost identical layout to its predecessor.

"Can we go downstairs now?" Rorie said with an impatient eagerness, already out of the chair. "I want to show Nate the new shiny ball in En-jeering. Boys like balls. But you can't play with it," she directed at her tiny brother, who was enraptured with his surroundings.

"Uh, we don't have a ball," scoffed Joker.

"Do." Rorie stretched her arms up and out to indicate something huge. "It's this big."

"Yeah, I think I'd have noticed-."

"Drive-core, Joker. In _Engineering_," Shepard clarified, putting an end to the exchange before it turned into another of their soon-becoming-legendary bickering sessions that the pilot seemed to so readily fall into with Rorie. "Okay, Commander. You know the drill. Get us underway."

"Yes, Ma'am," grinned Joker, quickly distracted by the chance to take the SR-3 for her first test-drive. He quickly contacted Control, and there was a slight tremor as the docking clamps released. "Let the shakedown run commence." Joker cracked his knuckles before his fingers began to glide expertly over the controls, the ship reacting instantly. "Destination: Grissom Academy."

While Kaidan was pulled towards Engineering, Shepard stayed in place. Joker's routine commentary as he checked systems was a sound she'd missed immensely, the words filling the air comfortingly around her. She'd spent too long in training facilities, imparting what she could to wide-eyed ensigns who hung off her every word. Being here, ready for action, was where she was meant to be.

Before she knew it, they had left the Citadel and were on approach to the relay, its two swirling rings continually framing the beautiful blue glow of the element zero held at its centre.

"How's she performing, Commander?"

"Sweet," Joker said, appreciatively. "Having our own guys overseeing the build was an act of genius, Shepard. They care, and it shows. That drive-core's even better than before. FTL will be faster and for longer than ever, and this girl's gonna turn on a dime. Did you know we can stealth longer before we have to vent now, too?"

"They've reinstated the Javelin disruptor torpedoes and Thanix cannon which the turians have upgraded, so she's got a bigger bite than before. Multicore shielding in the form of cyclonic kinetic barriers have been implemented and strengthened courtesy of quarian and geth schematics, and just in case that's not enough, the asari provided their latest Silaris ship armour so Normandy's one tough bitch even without the shields," listed Shepard. "Oh, and she can hold twice as much fuel now, as well." She gave Joker a single raised eyebrow. "You really think I wouldn't know every detail of our girl here?"

"Just checking, Shepard. I know you've been busy nursing…grunts," he added cheekily.

"Laugh it up, fly-boy. Your time will come," she added ominously.

His face went deadly serious. "Hey, they'll have to resurrect my dead body and take over my brain before they get _me_ teaching."

Shepard patted his shoulder. "That's okay, Joker. Not everyone can handle the challenge."

"Oh, low blow, Shepard." He adjusted the cap on his head, with its 'Joker' playing-card image embroidered on its front, and 'ACE' at its back. "It's great to have you back."

"Missed you, Joker," she answered, squeezing his shoulder - not that the Normandy crew past and present hadn't constantly kept in touch and regrouped over the time they'd been parted, but it wasn't the same as working together.

"Of course you did."

Shepard was still relishing her amusement and her environment when they were pulled into the vibrant blues and whites of the relay.

-o-O-o-

-o-O-o-

Kaidan walked through the ship, wondering what adventures awaited Normandy and his wife while hoping he'd get to share some with her. A few more days and he'd be on Earth training a new biotic ops squad. The eight teams already out there were doing a great job, and were helping to maintain the prestige now enjoyed by biotic soldiers. As a result, the number of biotics coming into the Alliance had tripled three-fold, and Grissom was doing its part to ensure the young biotics out there had a happier experience than _he'd_ endured in his teenage years.

That made him think of Rorie. Usually a place for older children, Kahlee Sanders had designed an education program specifically for Rorie in order to have his unique daughter in her Ascension Project. Rorie was currently the only human biotic capable of controlling her dark energy without the use of implants, and the scientist in Kahlee was keen to see just what Rorie's potential was.

She'd been attending for several months now and was absolutely loving it, not least because she was with the 'big children'. Even on her first day, Rorie had taken it all her stride, seemingly undaunted by the concept of staying there for four days in a week. Of course, the appearance of Jack and her varren, Eezo, had made the transition a lot more exciting for his five year old, and she'd almost forgotten to say goodbye in her enthusiasm to explore the academy.

Though he and Terra had dropped her off only an hour ago - much to the amazement of the other students as they stared in awe at the SR-3 outside - he missed her already. Kaidan's last image of his daughter was her riding Eezo, giggling as she waved back at them, and it made him smile every time.

The elevator opened and he stepped into the empty cab, only briefly wondering where Terra was when he caught that delicious fragrance she carried. "Huh! Um... I think I've told you many a time before that you can't hide from me, beautiful."

She materialised on his right with a lovely smile and he immediately pulled her to him and kissed that delectable mouth. "I can't help but notice you seem to be Nate-less," she observed, drawing the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth, which indicated an intent that was purely wicked and as such created a tide of arousal to surge through him.

"Luckily for me, he's currently wooing his way through all the women on board."

"I'm not surprised. He has his father's looks."

Kaidan bent his head to press his lips to a sweet spot she had beneath her jaw, and her arms tightened around him in response. "Think you've got time to test out the bed, Admiral?"

"Hmm…. I suppose it is a priority to ensure _every_ part of the ship is rigorously tested."

"Rigorous…. I like that." One handed, Kaidan released the fastenings of her jacket, then trailed his kisses down to the hollow at the base of her neck.

"Think you could manage it?" she teased breathlessly.

In way of his answer, he slid his hands to cup her behind and lifted her up, deliberately pressing himself at that intimate place of her so she groaned. The cab opened and he carried her through to the cabin, only taking in the briefest of details so he could ascertain his route to the bed. Lowering her down into the surprisingly plush, very non-Alliance bed, he soaked in the vision that was the woman he loved immeasurably. The way she looked at him was almost enough to bring him to his end. But not yet. First, he was going to _rigorously_ send her sky-high, before joining her there.

-o-O-o-

The artificial lights surrounding the research camp kept the night at bay as Lopan Huts exited the science lab with his old friend and work partner, Gates, making their way across the quiet camp to the communal area, all of their colleagues having already retired for the night.

After a whole day spent studying the native organisms through a microscope it was good to get out, even if he had missed the daylight hours. It seemed his employers had discovered a true paradise. So far, he'd found nothing in the surrounding vicinity that might cause harm to anyone, be they another race or his fellow salarians. He'd heard the geologists had even located small deposits of eezo nearby, so their company was going to be making a sizeable profit out of this venture even before they decided on whether to offer their claim on this part of the planet to various governments for colonisation by the highest bidder, or to transform it into a prime holiday destination and reap more profit over a longer term.

Lopan wasn't worried either way. He was here as a scientist, and each new find was exhilarating as he documented and took samples for further study later.

"Hard to believe we've only been here twenty-eight of this planet's cycles," sighed out Gates when they entered the large but currently vacant leisure area that housed the dining and kitchen facilities, as well as recreational items which Lopan had never had an inclination to use. "It feels like we've been here years."

"I'm beginning to think you might be in the wrong career," advised Lopan; he was having a blast.

"Think you might be right," frowned Gates. "What else would I do though? Never really had anything that truly called to me."

Lopan was unsurprised. He'd always had the feeling his good friend was simply following the same path because he couldn't find one of his own. Now Gates had finally recognised it. He patted his friend's shoulder mainly because he didn't know what else to do. Gates had to find his own way.

Moving into what Lopan considered a pointless kitchen, he picked out a packet of paste from a cupboard and sat down while Gates shook his head at him as he switched on the grill plate and readied some fresh produce specially imported for them.

"All this great food and you want to eat _that_? Aren't you sick of it yet?"

Lopan shrugged. "It has all the nutrition I need, and it's a far more efficient use of my time than standing there cooking."

"What about enjoyment? You can't tell me it's a nice experience."

"It does what it's meant to. Enjoyment I get from my work."

Gates just shook his head again as he set to work like a professional chef, and Lopan wondered if his friend would also see that his new path could actually be right in front of him.

Suddenly, a huge explosion somewhere outside rocked the building they were in, and the two of them stared at each other in shock for a few seconds before scrambling over to peer out of a window in time to hear their security personnel firing out from the perimeter.

"Native animals we haven't discovered maybe?" worried Gates.

Then Lopan could hear his colleagues' screams. Whatever it was had made it past the perimeter. Was the patrol team even still alive? That thought filled him with more fear. That small but skilled security force was all the protection they had.

Lopan's eyes widened as he caught sight of an attacker exiting a habitat, salarian blood splattered across armour. "Krogan!"

"But-but-!" was all Gates could stammer. Lopan understood. There was a truce. An uneasy one, yes – no thanks to their last Dalatrass - but it had held, due to the efforts of the krogan leader Urdnot Wrex, Ambassador Bakara, and Admiral Shepard. But this was an unprovoked slaughter!

The doors to their own building were blown in, and Lopan dived behind the counters, pulling Gates with him, hoping they hadn't been seen.

Hunkered down as low as possible, he and Gates pressed themselves into the floor. _Don't look behind here. Don't look behind here,_ Lopan inwardly pleaded.

The counter exploded, and Lopan could only gape, appalled, as Gates sat there looking down at the hole in his chest.

"Oh dear," Gates rasped at him. His eyes then rolled back and he collapsed.

Dead…. His good friend was dead…. Lopan back-pedalled away from the horrific sight until he bumped into something that made his blood chill. He didn't need to look up, the large hand clamped onto his head and hauled him up until his feet could no longer touch the ground.

A second krogan moved in front of him, laughing nastily.

"Can't hide from _us_, vermin."

"Please!" begged Lopan, knowing it was futile but needing to try as he writhed under the krogan's grip.

"Clan Urdnot say hello. Krogan vengeance is calling," announced the krogan, and Lopan's racing heart went heavy. Urdnot…. The truce was over. The deeds of his race's leaders had brought this on them. Whatever response his people and their allies took next, it would be too late for him.

The second krogan looked purposefully down at the hot grill-plate Gates had been standing at not five minutes ago, and the evil grin that spread across the krogan's face was enough for Lopan to know exactly what was coming his way.

**-o-O-o-**


	2. Chapter 2

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 2**

The bacon sizzled in the pan, sending a familiar smell of his childhood home Kaidan's way. He could admit he needed the comfort it brought. Checking the time told him there was at least an hour before Rorie was likely to call them to say goodnight, and he sighed in disappointment. It had only been a day but he felt her absence keenly whenever they were at home.

"The burning bacon tells me you're somewhere else."

Terra's voice was full of soft understanding, and her hands smoothed their way down his arms, then forward until they had firmly anchored the rest of her against his back. He felt her tiptoe slightly to press her lips to that sensitive place over the implant at his nape, sending a ripple of pleasure down his spine, before she rested her head at his shoulder.

Her soothing, loving touch worked to banish the pining. Quickly removing the bacon from the heat, Kaidan lifted his arm in order to draw his wife to his side, sharing a tender kiss. Even such a brief moment of intimacy was enough to stir up his whole body with want; such was the power of Terra Shepard.

Lips parting, they looked down at the offended piece of meat.

"Take-out?" Terra said, dryly.

"Hh! Yeah, uh, I think it might be a wise choice."

She turned to fully face him. "How about I head over to Fraticelli's?"

"The Italian who excels at Chinese food? Sounds good to me, but considering it was my fault dinner failed, _I_ should go."

"Actually, you're going to be busy. This just came in from Arcturus." She reached behind her to grab the datapad she'd discarded in order to hug him, and it occurred to Kaidan how easy they both slipped from husband and wife to focused soldiers.

They were experts now in juggling the two sides of their lives in a way that eluded so many others. Not that balancing their duty to the galaxy and to their children was simple, but they had a wealth of friends willing to help, as well as his parents and Terra's father, and Rorie was testament to the fact they were doing alright.

Kaidan settled against the counter beside Terra as he took the datapad.

"There's trouble at some of our remoter colonies from currently unidentified mercs," Terra briefed him. "Intel from the various colonists states they're all reasonably small groups – all human - and they all seem to include capable biotics. The colonies security personnel each outnumber them ten times over but haven't been able to bring any of them down. They're holding out for now, but they'll need assistance soon."

"And this is galaxy-wide? Sounds like an orchestrated attack, but it's a poor attempt to grab resources with so few men. They'd have been more successful had they combined their numbers and hit one colony at a time. Could there be something more to it?"

"Maybe. Without knowing who we're dealing with it's impossible to know how well manned they are beyond what we're seeing here, but if these mercs are hoping we'll respond in force and divert ships away from other key sites so they can hit them too, they're mistaken."

"So the Brass want small strike teams sent in."

Terra nodded. "There's ten sites in all. With your eight squads, that'll leave two. You and I can take one now that we have Normandy back in action, and I expect they'll choose James and his team for the other. They just want you to assess the environments and select which ones you think your squads would be better suited for, which means you've got some missions to assign, General. We leave in the morning." She followed it with a swift kiss he wasn't quite fast enough to reciprocate. Then she was breezing out of the apartment, throwing one last sexy look over her shoulder.

Disposing of the ruined bacon, Kaidan vowed he was going to enjoy distracting himself with his wife tonight…. In the meantime, he'd have to settle for the datapad.

-o-O-o-

Despite being at home, a place she always found relaxing, Dalatrass Narra stood tensely on her balcony overlooking Sur'Kesh's sprawling, lush city. The daylight was fading, sending a fiery light onto the buildings in the horizon. But where it would normally have been beautiful, this time she perceived it as fire encroaching and it made her shiver, as though it was a portent.

She was waiting.

Over the last day's cycle, five remote salarian facilities, six ships, nine research camps, and even two of their smaller colonies, had sent maydays before dropping out of contact completely. The implication of so many attacks on salarian interests was truly troubling, and in response she'd sent STG teams to investigate each and every one.

Until she had some answers, she couldn't rest.

-o-O-o-

Shepard walked through her favourite part of the market ward. The stalls and small restaurants here sold exclusively human foods, and the smell was wonderful, bringing back so many memories of things her mother would procure for her as a child. It was only a recent discovery. The size of the Citadel meant that much of it she'd yet to investigate, but her prolonged down-time had given her the opportunity to delve deeper into the Citadel's offerings to find this hidden treasure.

The reason for her delay in returning to active duty, asides from her extensive knee injury and awaiting the third Normandy's construction, was their new arrival.

Warm feelings surged forth at the thought of her son; she'd left him fed and settled, knowing he'd sleep until morning now. A tiny version of his father, Nate was destined to break hearts, though she'd given him her chocolate-brown hair and eye colour. Visually, he was the exact opposite to his big sister, Rorie, and Shepard was already seeing the difference in their personalities. Where Rorie was into something for a few seconds before she flitted energetically onto the next item of temporary interest, Nate would happily sit and investigate what was in front him for considerable amounts of time, as though he wasn't content until he'd worked out everything about it and what it could do. He didn't have any biotic ability, either. In fact, the only thing Nate seemed to have in common with his sister was that he was utterly adorable.

Terra missed Rorie desperately. Being home without her always felt strange, and everywhere she went now echoed a recollection of Rorie being there too. As a hungry human biotic, her daughter had adored sampling the delights on offer here.

Arriving at the modest eatery, Shepard slipped inside and joined the line of expectant diners-on-the-go.

"Ah! Shepard! Back for more, eh? That's what I like to see. You know, you're becoming one of my best customers! And you're definitely my favourite! Come!" Antonio Fraticelli beckoned her from where he stood behind the counter, and Shepard sent apologetic looks to those in the queue, though most just looked back at her agog.

"Evening, Tony," she smiled as she reached him. Fraticelli's owner and chef was easily twenty years older than her father, with stark white hair that needed a good cut and comb, and an equally dishevelled beard that had convinced Rorie he was Santa, apparently selling noodles in his spare time.

"No little angel today? I've been working on my ho-ho-ho just for her!" he laughed, big and loud. "And no bambino, either?"

"Rorie started another term at Grissom, and Nate's down for the night."

"Ah." He sighed wistfully. "The sound of young children…. Those are the things I miss the most."

Terra didn't say anything. She already knew he was alone – his own children and grandchildren all lost to the Reapers. It's why he moved here from Earth after the devastation and incredible loss: too many reminders.

"The usual, for two?" Tony checked.

"Please."

"Coming right up."

Glancing behind her, Shepard winced at the gathering and growing crowd outside the restaurant. During the day, people passed her with nothing more than an interested look, but the evenings meant those same people unwinding with a drink or two, and it emboldened them to ask all those _many_ burning questions they had. She should have thought to grab a cap. It was amazing how a piece of headgear could extend her a little anonymity.

A couple of onlookers were inching forward.

"Here you go." Tony passed her the order and peered behind her. "You're a great advertisement, by the way. I should probably pay you a commission, eh!?" His booming laughter always encouraged her own.

"Just keep making delicious noodles, Tony."

"Now that I can do," he smiled. "And how about I also give you an escape route, eh?"

"Tony, you're a godsend."

That made the elder man very happy as he lifted the counter so she could nip through. "Head straight through the kitchen and there's an exit at the back. Enjoy dinner!"

Kissing his cheek, Shepard made her way through and out into the back alleyway, deciding to follow it a little further along before she attempted to make her way back to the main walkway.

The restaurant door opened behind her and she looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Tony or one of his kitchen staff, but whoever it was must have changed their minds because no one exited. Carrying on, she threaded her way past the sacks of rubbish awaiting disposal but with each step she got a growing feeling she wasn't alone.

Her muscles tensed automatically as her body listened to her instinct to fight at the prospect of a threat. Spinning, her hand on the gun she always carried at her hip, she saw the figure just a few feet from her, her jaw dropping along with the take-out that landed at her feet.

It couldn't be….

"Mom?" Shepard whispered. Her mother looked just like she did on the vids: immaculately presented in her dress uniform and completely unblemished in the way Alliance-sanctioned vids liked to portray their poster-soldiers.

She missed her mother terribly, but this…? Shepard was frozen to the spot as her mother smiled gently back at her while moving closer. A hand reached out and when it touched her cheek – a warm, solid touch – a sob escaped to accompany Shepard's falling tears.

"My beautiful baby girl."

Launching herself forward to wrap her arms around her mother, Shepard's head screamed it wasn't possible. Hannah Shepard had died when she sent her ship ploughing into a Reaper in order to give them more time to dock the Crucible. Her father had witnessed it. Nevertheless, she held on, ignoring the fact that her mother wasn't holding her back. It felt like hugging someone for the first time, it had been so long. "How can you be here?"

"I'm not, Terra."

Shepard stiffened, fear replacing the stunned, confused joy - its chill crawling over her. She let go and her mother stepped back with a strange smile. Then the edges of her went blurry, the surroundings seeming to engulf her until she was gone.

Shepard started trembling, her breathing ragged. It had seemed so real. It had _felt_ so real. Shaking hands rose to cradle her head. What did this mean?

o-O-o

Kaidan was getting worried as he paced up and down. Nate was screaming into his chest and nothing he did was making any difference.

That his son had woken once he'd been laid down for the night was unusual, and Kaidan had _never_ heard him cry like this before. He was about to call Chakwas when it occurred to him that Terra had been gone for a while….

The mutated thorian spores created in Rorie, which had later been placed within Terra to help combat the Leviathans, had also been transferred to Nate during his conception. They already knew those spores had given Terra and Rorie a mental connection to each other, and as Nate had them too, Kaidan wondered if he was sensing something wrong with his mother.

Just as Kaidan was about to try to call Terra, Nate stopped, with only the occasional hiccup from his previous upset.

Still, Kaidan was unsettled now. Noting Nate was now falling back to sleep on his shoulder, Kaidan placed his son back in the cot and hurried out to the hall to call Terra. It was answered instantly.

"_Hey. Sorry for the delay. I went and dropped our dinner and had to go back. I'm on my way_."

There was a breathlessness to her voice that gave the impression she was rushing, but Kaidan thought her light tone sounded forced.

"Terra, is everything all right?" The pause, however brief, spoke volumes.

"_I'm fine. Really. I just- I…. I'll explain when I get home_."

Finishing the call, Kaidan went to perch himself on the edge of the lounge couch to wait, wondering what could have possibly happened to perturb his fearless wife.

**-o-O-o-**


	3. Chapter 3

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 3 **

Standing right beside the medbay bed, Kaidan watched with nerves taut as the scan ran over Terra, head to toe. He could tell she was incredibly tense too, and all he wanted to do was get her out from under the machine and take it all away.

Returning home last night, Terra had walked straight to the kitchen, placed the take-out cartons on the counter and instantly threw herself into his arms. With hunger pushed aside by concern, Kaidan had simply lifted her off her feet and taken her over to the sofa, holding her tightly whilst running a soothing caressing hand over the head she'd buried beneath his chin. Then he'd waited. It had taken her a good ten minutes before she was able to tell him what was troubling her.

_I think something's wrong with me._

Her words, so full of fear, had left him speechless for too long. She'd filled the silence with what had happened in the alley behind Fraticelli's: a hallucination of her mother so real to her she was sure she'd felt it; hugged it. Before he could suggest it was merely someone who had looked like her mother, she'd added how it had faded away. All he could do was hold her and assure her he'd call Chakwas - in the morning, because Terra wouldn't allow him to disturb the doc's evening.

Then Rorie's call had come, distracting them with her happy, vibrant chatter, before she finished with a huge yawn. Closing the call had been hard, and the silence had brought back the worries from earlier. Taking Terra's hand, he'd led her up to bed, and held her through the whole sleepless night.

A bleeping brought Kaidan back to Normandy's medbay. Its task complete, the scan switched off. Terra immediately got off the bed to stand beside him, facing the doc with a stance that was pure Admiral, like she couldn't face it as anything less. Then she leaned just enough to press her shoulder against his – a crack in the facade.

"Everything appears to be fine. Physically, you're in perfect health, Shepard," declared Chakwas, but Kaidan noticed Terra's posture hadn't relaxed with that assurance. "Nothing to explain your hallucination. Have you been sleeping?"

Terra nodded, stiffly. "Except for last night."

"Then what could have caused it, doc?" asked Kaidan. Like Terra, he also found little comfort in having no real answers. Nothing _physically_ wrong….

"It's entirely possible it was just a one-off event. Some external influence. Back-alleys won't be the most hygienic places. Who knows what all those stores kick out of their vents. Maybe it was down to nothing more than a concoction of fumes," reasoned Chakwas, though her gaze was misdirected as though she couldn't reinforce it with her usual confidence. One look at Terra told Kaidan she was as unconvinced as he was.

Chakwas reached out to place a reassuring hand on Terra's arm. "You've shown no other indicators that would raise concern. All I would advise at present is that you avoid that same area and see if it happens again."

Kaidan understood the shudder from his wife. No one wanted the prospect of being faced with the apparition of a loved one.

"And if it does?" Terra almost whispered. With it, she visibly sagged in such a way that it alarmed Kaidan to see it.

Chakwas faltered, her gaze flicking to him before returning to Terra. "There's a prominent asari doctor working right here in Huerta. She's the best there is in all things related to the brain, from neurology to psychiatry. But I'm sure it's unnecessary."

A psychiatrist. That would mean the only other explanation was a mental disorder…. Kaidan caressed his hand down Terra's arm until he'd entwined his fingers in hers.

"Then call her," Terra said grimly, to Kaidan's surprise. Her hand tightened on his. "Because it wasn't the first time." She swallowed, her brow furrowed, and dread rose within Kaidan. "In the docking bay yesterday…I saw Anderson at the back of the journalists. Nothing dodgy there but the reporting," she added, with forced levity.

"You never said," worried Kaidan.

"I brushed it off as a trick of the mind, but after last night…I have to face the fact that this is something more."

Kaidan didn't know what to say. She looked thoroughly lost for a moment, then pulled herself in with a deep breath.

"I'll call my father; have him assign someone else to accompany you on the mission," she said to him. "You have command of the ship. I'll let the crew know there'll be a delay on the departure."

"What? No. Terra-"

"I'm not fit for duty, Kaidan."

Her words cut through his own, and it took him a few stunned seconds before he was able to respond. There was a resigned finality in her voice which filled him with more fear than he'd experienced in quite some time.

"I wouldn't say that, Shepard," Chakwas refuted, except Kaidan could sense the 'but' before it came. "Though I agree it should be checked out before you resume command."

It was a logical course of action, and one that Kaidan couldn't dispute no matter how much he wanted to. Fine. But he'd be damned if Normandy was going anywhere without Terra. "Hackett can put someone else on the mission. I'm not leaving you, Terra."

At first she looked like she was about to protest, but that brilliant brain was thinking it through. "I suppose you're right. I shouldn't be alone; I could endanger Nate."

"Nonsense!" exclaimed Chakwas, sternly.

"And that's not what I meant," Kaidan frowned. "You need support. Look, _I'll_ talk to Hackett. You deal with your crew."

"We'll get this sorted, I'm sure," tried Chakwas. "I'll arrange an appointment and get back to you."

"Thanks," Terra murmured.

Her hand slipped out of his, and Kaidan watched her walk dejectedly out of the medbay, stopping at the Mess to collect Nate from one of the crew, then heading to the elevator, cradling their son close.

Exchanging a glance with an equally concerned Chakwas, Kaidan hoped like hell this was just a freak occurrence.

-O-

By the time Shepard had finished her announcement, Joker had his full attention on her, and she wished, if only this once, that Joker would just accept orders without question like the rest of her crew.

"What's going on?"

She deliberately concentrated on the wonderful little boy in her arms for a few seconds, blowing a raspberry into the palm of his hand to make him chuckle.

"We weren't needed after all," she said finally. Her eyes touched briefly on Edi, who sat in the co-pilot's seat and would know everything said in the medbay. But Edi remained dutifully silent. Shepard didn't like the lie, but neither was she ready to voice the thoughts in her head: that she might be going crazy; that she might never be able to captain Normandy again; that her career could be over. She clutched Nate closer then, suddenly fearing she really might be deemed incapable of raising him.

Joker stared back at her and she held his scrutiny, driving that impenetrable part of her to the fore so he wouldn't see beneath. When he shrugged it brought her a reprieve.

"And what? You can't find us any other trouble to get into? You must be losing your touch, Shepard."

"Something like that," she hushed.

"So we don't get to go anywhere," Joker grumbled. "Sitting in a bad-ass ship that's docked isn't fun, Shepard."

"It is beyond Shepard's control, Jeff," Edi said, and Shepard wondered what the AI was making of all this.

"She's a Spectre," pointed out Joker. "She can go take out all of Omega right now if she chose to. So?" He then looked at Shepard with an expectant seriousness that almost had her on the verge of laughing.

"Newsflash, Joker: I'm not starting an unprovoked war with Aria just because you're bored."

His omnitool chimed and Joker brightened when he read the message. "Hey! Altair's in. Seems she's just docked for re-fuelling. She's only got an hour before leaving to pick up our very own Vega, but she's wondering if I've got time for a catch-up."

Saved by Altair. "Then it's fate that we're still here. Go," ushered Shepard.

He stood up, looking far more energised, then hesitated as he laid eyes on Edi. "Oh. Uh… I don't have to go if you'd rather do something, Edi. I didn't meant to just bail on you."

"I am fine, Jeff. Altair is on limited time. We can 'do something' later."

"Right. Great. Thanks, Edi. See you later, Shep."

With Joker out of the airlock in a flash, Shepard smiled to herself.

"I do not believe Jeff recognises the extent of his own feelings for Altair," observed Edi, saying what Shepard was thinking. "Maybe I should tell him that his heart-rate increases rapidly whenever he receives a message from her. He insists their relationship is only a platonic one. I worry that Jeff is holding back because he is concerned about my 'feelings'. We have had a conversation about it in the past, but Jeff has changed since then."

Shepard sat in that rarely vacant seat, placing Nate on her lap so he could reach forward to the bright display of the console. "How _do_ you feel about it?"

"I do not know how to describe it. Is it possible to be happy for someone while also being sad?"

Her heart went out to the AI who had somehow become so…organic. "From experience, yes, Edi. Yes, it is. Are you alright?"

"I will…adapt." Edi paused, and as she looked at Shepard, a sorrow became visible on her face. "You are…malfunctioning."

It was delivered so gently that Shepard wasn't prepared for the swell of fear-driven emotion that breached her wall. "Maybe."

They fell into silence, only Nate's soft babbling filling the void until Kaidan walked in.

"Everything's sorted with your father. Coats has got a good team he's keen to put to the test, so they'll take our place. In the meantime, let's get out of here. I'm thinking a stroll down to the new gardens that opened yesterday. Inspired by Thessia, I believe. They've been saying it's a beautiful, immersive place to visit."

He was trying to distract her, and she loved him for it. Turning Nate, Shepard lifted him up, bringing his gorgeous face level with her own. "How about it? Want to go get those grasping hands of yours on some prized flowers?" He gave her a beautiful smile that accompanied his father's laugh, and Shepard stood, finding herself looking forward to being 'immersed'.

As Kaidan's hand automatically found its place at her waist when she moved to his side, Shepard looked at the lone seated figure. "Edi?"

"I do not wish to intrude."

"You're more than welcome, Edi," reinforced Kaidan, and Shepard treasured the way her man seemed to know what was important to her. As though Nate also understood, he reached for Edi.

The AI actually looked grateful. "Thank you. I would love to." When she stood to join them, Edi took Nate with painstaking care, and led the way out, leaving Shepard free to appreciate Kaidan.

Her hands slid up that strong chest protecting his beating heart, then carried on, threading her fingers through his dark hair to cradle the skull protecting that clever, gentle mind she loved so completely. But that also reminded her of her own and the fear returned.

As usual, her husband saw it. "You're fine, Terra." His kiss told her whatever happened he'd be there for her, but it also gave away that he was frightened too. "Come on."

Determined to enjoy this time, just as she had every day they'd had since the Leviathans fell, Shepard pushed worries of her sanity aside.

-o-O-o-

Joker sat at a table at Apollo's overlooking the Presidium Lake. Flight Lieutenant Robin Altair had turned her chair so she was almost sitting right beside him, and was still laughing from his joke. Joker really liked the sound.

He imagined that her childhood hadn't been that fun, her awful mother constantly dragging her down with her cruel words; punishing her daughter for her own failings. But somehow (and Joker still wondered at the inner strength she must have found to be able to do it) Altair had discovered the freedom flying provided. She'd hit a stumbling block along the way - that lack of worth planted by her mother had clipped her wings - but thankfully it was reparable, and Altair had reached her true potential. Joker was pretty darn pleased to have been the one to help her get there… okay, with a little nudge from Shepard. Now, she was around people who appreciated her and her talent.

So, after everything she'd been through, it was though when she laughed it was with abandon. She'd earned it.

A light-brown curl from the many that framed her face, stuck to the mirthful tears, and without thought Joker reached out and released it. Altair hadn't noticed, but it shocked Joker. He didn't do things like that. The only person he made any kind of contact with was Shepard, and that was because she was like a sister to him, and a hug from her was kind of the norm.

"You okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Altair's brown-flecked green eyes were still full of amusement, and he really wanted to keep it there.

"More like a crazy woman. It wasn't that funny!" he ribbed.

Altair gave a light-hearted wince. "Sorry. I guess I hadn't realised just how much I needed to laugh. There's not a lot of it going around under Mikhailovich's command. He's a real stickler for protocol."

"They all are," imparted Joker. "It's just that you've been spoiled on the Normandy. Believe me, I feel for you. Being under Hackett was bad enough, and he's not half as bad as some out there."

"How can he be? He's Shepard's dad."

"Pff. I suppose there must be some similarities but I don't see them. Shepard's in a class of her own."

Altair sighed, wistfully. "It must be great to be back out there with her."

"It would be. Except we're docked," moaned Joker. He couldn't help it – it was frustrating as hell, not to mention that Shepard was definitely off and he hated not knowing what was going on. "One shakedown run, and it didn't end with the Academy up in flames. So disappointing."

"Jeff!"

"What?"

"You're terrible," she laughed. "And an adrenaline junkie."

"All pilots are adrenaline junkies," he stated.

Then Altair's omnitool went off, signalling her need to return to her ship, and Joker was surprised again at just how much he wasn't ready for her to go.

"Damn, that sure went fast," sighed Altair, and Joker stood when she did, her petite frame always making him feel sturdier in comparison. "I really enjoyed this. It was great to catch up. Can't believe it's been a couple of months. Couldn't believe you would actually leave Normandy and that new cushy leather seat to come meet me, either," she added, teasingly.

"Well, you know Shepard. Nag, nag, nag, to get out more," he rolled his eyes, to be rewarded with more laughter.

"I miss that seat," she mused, teasing, then a sincerity fell over her face. "And I miss _you_, Joker."

"Yeah…I- Well- I-" Damn it! When the hell did he get tongue-tied? She just smiled at him, then leaned forward to kiss his cheek. She smelled of jasmine with the faint linger of the coffee she'd just finished, and he liked it.

"Bye, Jeff."

"See you soon, Robbie." He realised that somewhere along the way of a year or so passing, they'd dropped titles and other formalities.

"And we should definitely do this again," she added as she backed away, then turned.

Joker watched her go, returning the wave she gave him before she rounded the corner out of sight. "It's a date," he said softly.

-o-O-o-

Dalatrass Narra stood in her office facing the large screen that connected her to the Salarian Union. Her news had been grave after the disturbing reports from the STG teams had come in.

"_Nothing was taken during these raids? Intelligence? Research data?_" queried a Union member.

"Not a thing of value other than the lives of our people."

"_No survivors at all!?_" exclaimed another.

"One. He's barely lucid, but he did manage to answer the question of who did this_."_

"_And_?"

"See for yourself_._"

Narra played the file. It cut straight to a hospitalised salarian, his face so badly burned on one side that he barely had any flesh left there.

"_Who attacked you, Doctor Huts_?" urged an STG agent.

Despite having already watched it, the pained sounds from Dr Lopan Huts as he tried to speak still made the Dalatrass wince.

"_… __Clan Urd- … Urdnot says … hello. Time for … krogan vengeance_," rasped Huts, before passing out.

Ending the recording, Narra look back at the horrified Salarian Union members. Just like her, they knew what it meant.

"_We must rally our allies immediately!"_

"Our response needs to be carefully considered," countered the Dalatrass, reluctant to jump to knee-jerk reactions. "This may well be the actions of an organised few. Reacting in force could push all krogan to take up arms."

"_And if it's a full-scale attack, delay could be catastrophic!_"

Many of the Union members nodded in agreement with that declaration.

Dalatrass Narra felt the weight of what hung over them all. She truly didn't know what to do for the best. Had this been the krogan leader's plan all along once they'd been cured? Or had Dalatrass Linron's foiled plan to destroy any possibility of a krogan threat by using the yahg as their weapons, been the final insult which couldn't be ignored?

There was only one thing she knew for certain: the salarians had doomed themselves the second they'd conceived the very notion of the genophage.

-o-O-o-

Terra was truly relaxed as she walked through the door into their apartment. Kaidan had been right about the Thessian Gardens; it was like stepping off the Citadel and into a small slice of paradise. The flowers large and small created an amazing myriad of colours and wonderful fragrances that all worked to relieve any stress you walked in with, and they had spent a big part of the day absorbing it all. Nate had been wide-eyed throughout the whole experience, taking it all in, and that precious distraction had been just what Shepard needed. Following that, Edi had said her goodbyes and they decided to eat out.

After all the excitement, Nate had fallen asleep, and Terra took him up to his cot.

Kaidan was waiting outside the doorway when she exited Rorie's room, pulling her in for a kiss she gave in to gladly.

"I'm thinking we carry on this relaxation theme we have going. How about a hot tub session?"

"Hm. Warm bubbles and you, bare. How can a girl resist? Of course, it won't be complete without some bubbly in a glass, too, and I'm up for practicing my massage skills after…."

"Deal."

Shepard started to tease her fingers under his uniform. "Go slip into your birthday suit while I grab the wine." She sent him a roguish smile and he was off, shucking his shirt before he'd even gotten near their bedroom door, then turning to look at her with a smile that nearly had her in a puddle on the floor.

"Hurry," he said, huskily, and she was grinning stupidly as she raced down the stairs.

Chakwas had managed to get the asari doctor to see her first thing in the morning, and that dread and uncertainty hung at the back of her mind, but it was confined there – recognised but ignored because she had to maintain some hope that her hallucinations weren't indicative of anything serious, and because right now Kaidan was waiting for her.

Grabbing the wine from the fridge, her thoughts were now solely on the wonderful man currently alone upstairs. A wanton shiver went through her at the prospect of the evening ahead with him. Turning to reach for some glasses, she dropped the bottle in shock, barely hearing it shatter on the floor as she stared at the figure standing in front of her.

"Hey, Shepard." That lovely, familiar, accented voice sliced right into her heart.

Shepard shook her head, closed her eyes, and told herself Tali couldn't be there. _She's gone. She isn't here because she can't be real_. But when she opened her eyes again, her dead quarian friend still stood there.

Nate's screams filled the air, and Kaidan was running across the hallway, but Shepard could only look back in dismay at the apparition, here, in her home.

Shepard stood paralysed to the spot as Tali reached out and touched her hand. Despite the gloved quarian hand, Shepard felt warm skin on hers. A vague memory surfaced from that alleyway, which her shocked brain had overlooked and only now registered: that she'd felt that same inconsistency between what she saw and what she'd felt when she'd held her mother. Then Tali removed the mask to reveal that beautiful face Shepard had been lucky enough to see once, and unlucky to have seen twice, when she'd had to close Tali's lifeless eyes on Earth. Tali's lovely face smiled with joy just as she had on Rannoch.

"Terra!?" Kaidan was moving quickly down the stairs near the front door, Nate still crying in his arms. The vision of Tali vanished, and Shepard leaned back against the counter for stability, then slid down to the floor, empty.

"Terra! Did it happen again!?"

Kaidan was rushing in, just a towel round his waist and bare feet. With a start, she warded him off from getting too close. "The glass," she warned, hoarsely.

Nate was calming a little, and Shepard reached up for him, feeling too boneless to stand. Kaidan skirted the glass and knelt in front of her, his brow creased deeply in worry, and passed their son to her. Cuddled close, Nate quickly settled again.

"I'm sorry sweetie," she whispered to him, stroking his little head with fingers that refused to stop shaking. "Mommy didn't mean to scare you."

Kaidan ran his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away tears she hadn't realised had fallen, then bent forward to kiss her forehead. "Who was it this time?"

"Tali. I dropped the wine," she added, inanely. She could see Kaidan's anguish, as much as he tried to hide it, and she hated that her…problem…was hurting him.

A hollowness consumed her.

Her return to captaining Normandy again was supposed to be the start of everything getting back to normal.

Instead, she was losing control of her mind.

**-o-O-o-**


	4. Chapter 4

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 4**

James checked his co-ordinates. They were closing in on the merc band but they needed to pick up the pace, as the night wouldn't afford them cover for much longer. The constant winds continually blew the gritty ground upwards where it created a sound like rain against their armour.

He could see the lights of the colony in the distance. There weren't many here on Ferris Fields. The Collectors had taken a large majority of the people who had lived here, and those that escaped hadn't been keen to go back. It was only recently that colonists had chosen to try again, tempted back by the lure of the unmined resources still present that had attracted the first colonists here. It wasn't right that these mercs thought they had the right to come and take the spoils of these peoples hard work.

Quietly assigning his orders, James waited for his team to fan out a little, then moved forward.

Hunkering down in undergrowth, James counted only ten men camped out in the clearing, the campfire lighting them up. What the hell did they think they were going to accomplish with so few? It seemed to him that whoever these mercs were, they were far from organised, yet from all accounts from those defending the colony from their attacks, these mercs were decent enough fighters to be giving the security teams trouble. None of it made much sense.

James tightened his grip on his rifle. His would be the first shot that would signal their counter-attack had begun. Launching up, he trained his weapon as he yelled out, announcing who he worked for and demanding they surrender. As expected, they all did the opposite, grabbing up weapons and spinning to engage him. Having given them the opportunity to come in alive, James fired his shotgun, taking out the closest merc, while his men supported him from cover.

Ducking another shot, James ran straight towards the culprit, smacked the gun from the gob-smacked merc, and slammed his rifle butt into the bridge of the man's nose. The man crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

James looked for his next target…but it was over. The only merc still breathing was the one he'd knocked out, and James couldn't believe it. Tension kept him on edge. It was too easy. He knew he and his men were good, but these mercs had supposedly been giving the security personnel a hard time for the last few days and nights…. It should have been harder to take them down.

"That was a serious anti-climax," complained James' lieutenant, Kedson, as the squad congregated around him.

"Guess those security guys these colonists hired are pretty naff," retorted Corporal Lau. "'Cos these mercs were crap."

"Where were the biotics?" James wondered out loud.

No one answered that. Intel had clearly stated there was a heavy biotic presence amongst the mercs, yet not one of these men had displayed any such talent. Kedson was swiftly checking the bodies for signs of an implant, and at the last merc he looked at James with a shake of his head.

James looked around him, warily. The dawn had arrived, washing out the dark and revealing their surroundings in muted tones. Unlike the colony itself, which stood like an oasis behind them, this untouched area was a stark contrast. It reminded him a little of those old western movies he'd seen: gravelly sand, boulders, and dried out bushes and trees, all the same dulled yellow. But there was nothing else to be seen, and the winds would have taken care of any tracks.

Returning to the unconscious man, James picked up a bottle of alcohol that these idiots had been consuming instead of water, and poured it over the merc's face. Choking, the man came to, groaning from the pain of his broken nose.

James crouched down. "Who are you affiliated with? What was your purpose here?"

"Fuck yo- AHH!"

With a relentless hold on the merc's nose, James moved his face closer. "Answer my questions, pendejo."

"Okay, okay! Fuck!"

James released him and waited.

"We're just freelancers," said the merc, his broken nose hampering his speech like a bad cold. "We were paid a shitload of credits to come out here and be a visible presence to the colonists. I figured it was a psychological thing. You know, freak out the inhabitants so they'd leave. The fighting was done by the other guys."

In response, James' men went on high alert, scanning the immediate area for more trouble.

"Who paid you? And who were these other men?"

"It was all done anonymously; some guy was hanging around Omega's alleys, recruiting. As for the others, I have no idea. More freelancers?" the man shrugged. "We never met them. They just passed by to cause trouble at the colony, then vanished until they were ready to do it again. They were good though. A lot of biotics in their group, too."

They needed to search the area for these other mercs. James didn't like this at all.

"Which direction did these others come from?"

The merc pointed south, and James swore to himself; their shuttle would have been noticed coming in from that direction. He and his men could have walked straight into an ambush, and James was still tensely expecting something. Only it didn't come, and after securing the merc for detainment, James and his team headed that way.

Just a twenty minute hike and they found a second encampment. It was notably much bigger than the first, while also well-camouflaged and completely empty. The freshly disturbed soil indicated that it had only recently been abandoned, and with the last attack on the colonists being reported as little as three hours ago, they must have scarpered upon spotting the shuttle.

"What the heck's going on, boss?" questioned Lau.

Uneasily, James started back towards the colony so he could give the colonists the all-clear. His answer was honest but unpalatable. "Haven't got a goddamned clue."

-o-O-o-

Kaidan paced restlessly inside Dr Valira T'Esana's office while the doctor was assessing Terra in the room opposite. It seemed the asari doctor didn't believe in cluttering her office with personal items – or much of anything for that matter - leaving him with nothing to distract himself with. How much longer would it take? Christ, at this rate he was going to go-

He cut that thought off, appalled at himself.

"For goodness sake, Kaidan, sit down," admonished Chakwas, who had ensured she was here, much to both his and Terra's relief. "You're exhausting me, just watching you."

Halting, he sat beside Chakwas. "Sorry, Doc. It's just…. You should have seen her last night. She looked so scared."

Chakwas laid her hand over his, just as Dr T'Esana re-entered the office. Her skin tone was the deepest shade of blue Kaidan had ever seen on an asari, her facial markings only slightly lighter, and her serious face inferred she didn't take time out to enjoy life that often. Kaidan was certain that wasn't a good thing, especially in a race so long-lived as the asari, though it could explain her reputation as the best in her fields. Under the utmost confidentiality, the doctor had been made privy to everything concerning the Leviathans, thorian spores, and more.

"I've completed my initial assessment. It's a perplexing case. Shepard's not exhibiting any other indicators that could point to a simple diagnosis. I've ruled out the usual causes: PTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis."

Chakwas squeezed his hand, but Kaidan still had yet to find any relief from the doctor's words. 'Perplexing' meant unusual, and with it the possibility that Terra was suffering from something that couldn't be fixed.

"The hallucinations appear to have started upon her return to what she deems as 'full active service'," continued T'Esana, "and so I have to consider whether _that's_ the catalyst, and these visions are a product of an intense underlying anxiety."

"But she's been looking forward to getting back out there," disputed Kaidan. "Being in command again and on the frontline is what she thrives on."

"Or maybe that's what she thinks she should be feeling, when in actual fact the past very extreme experiences she's undergone - with the Reapers and the Leviathans, dying and being brought back to life, suffering tremendous injury, having a child abducted - has driven her to her breaking point."

Kaidan shook his head, vehemently. This doctor didn't know Terra like he did. "They were all tremendously hard to deal with, but Shepard's a remarkable woman. She dealt with all of that and came out the other side. It's behind her now. She's facing the future, not looking back at the past."

"Your belief in her is admirable," carried on T'Esana, "but there's a possibility that having this time off has given her a chance to reflect on things. Her life has calmed down since the Leviathans were defeated. She's had time to re-assess and acclimatise to a less active regime, and maybe she's too concerned she'll be letting all of you down to accept it herself yet. The hallucinations may be a way of her sub-conscious forcing her to address that and what all that conflict has led to: the deaths of those she loves."

"Poppy-cock," blurted out Chakwas. "Sitting on the Citadel, retired, won't stop bad things happening to loved ones – many of whom are also soldiers facing difficult fights – and Shepard knows it. That's why she's getting back out there, and she'd have done it sooner had the ship been ready. The Admiral's not your average civilian patient, nor an average soldier." Kaidan appreciated those assured, almost angry words from Chakwas.

The asari doctor put on an appeasing smile, apparently choosing not to try to argue it. "Well, I currently have Shepard connected to a special machine, so if and when a hallucination occurs I can map out her brain; get a real inside look at what's going on, and what areas of the brain are being affected. That way I'll be better able to ascertain the nature of what we're dealing with here." She paused, and Kaidan tensed at what might come next. "You both need to understand that if this can't be attributed to anxiety, it leaves us in uncharted territory."

"What does that mean?" worried Kaidan.

"The prothean beacons forced information into Shepard's brain – a human brain that wasn't designed for such a transfer. Add to that the huge cache of knowledge from the Cipher, the attempts by the Reapers to take her mind, and then the Leviathans succeeding where the Reapers hadn't…. It would be amazing if her brain function _wasn't_ damaged by all that. The hallucinations may just be the first step in her mind's collapse."

It was all conjecture for now, but that last supposition seemed the most plausible, and Kaidan felt everything drain from him.

o

Shepard sat on the edge of the bed, already irritated by the tiny electrical pads attached to various places across her forehead and scalp that were transmitting goodness knows what to the machine next to her. She stared at the screen data, feeling a little paranoid about it. Could it read her thoughts? "Get a grip, Terra," she muttered to herself. "Or they really will think you're crazy."

The doctor had come out with some preposterous notion that she'd had enough of fighting and didn't really want to return to it. The woman was clueless. She wasn't someone who could sit back and not be out there helping to keep the monsters at bay. And there were always monsters – not the ones depicted in films or created by Reapers (not anymore) but the ones that looked like everyone else around them, with cold, dark places inside them that enabled them to commit atrocities for personal gain or gratification. And just maybe there was something else out there, just waiting for them to get cosy and complacent.

No, she needed to be out there where she could really have her fingers on the pulse of the galaxy, ready to act the moment there was an arrhythmia.

Jumping to her feet, she walked to the window to look out. How long was she supposed to stay here for? Until a hallucination, the doctor had said, but that could be who knew when. She hoped for never again.

Everything on the other side of the glass was business as usual, and suddenly Shepard was gripped with an illogical fear that she'd once more be kept from it all as she had been back on Earth, shut away for months on end, only this time it would be worse, because she'd miss her babies growing up. "Stop being ridiculous," she told herself. "And stop talking to yourself," she added wryly.

Someone touched her shoulder and Shepard turned, expecting to see the doctor or a nurse coming to check on her.

Physically jerking back to collide with the window, her heart was racing at the sight of the salarian standing there.

_No! It's not him!_ Except it was, and she couldn't deny it. Mordin. "You can't be here," she whispered.

"But have to be here. Someone else might get it wrong." Then he started to quietly sing as he busied himself around the room.

Tears trickled down her face as she finally admitted her mind was going, and she closed her eyes, her hands covering her ears in an attempt to drown out the gentle singing that hurt to hear.

When it stopped, she was almost too frightened to look. But she had to.

The room was empty. Mordin was gone – back to the recesses of her mind where he should have stayed. Trembling fingers tugged off the pads. The doctor had her readings. Dumping the pads on the bed, Shepard gave one more look at the machine data. It didn't look any different, but somewhere in all that it would tell the doctor she was…. How did Edi put it? Malfunctioning. Shepard decided it was better to malfunction. It inferred that it was easily fixable – a shorted wire to be replaced. But what could you do with an organic mind? Therapy and medication, the doctor had mentioned, but it was guaranteed to be a long process. God, how she hated hospitals.

She needed to get out of here. Turning to leave, Shepard was stunned to be faced with a husk! Reacting on instinct, she shoved it away from her, staggering it back towards the door. In a split second she'd removed her gun and aimed, barely registering that the husk was already beginning to fade out and the door was opening, as her finger tightened on the trigger.

o

After Traynor's call alerted Kaidan to Nate's distress, he rushed out of the doctor's office with Chakwas and Dr T'Esana, and across the corridor. The doors to Terra's room opened and Kaidan saw the gun at the same time as it fired off to his right. He only just got his barrier up in time to prevent the shot from hitting Dr T'Esana, who stumbled back with a gasp, her hands up.

His heart racing in shock, Kaidan saw Terra's horror at what had nearly transpired. In fact, she appeared frozen with it, her gun still pointed. What had she seen to cause this extreme reaction? "Terra, it's okay. Whatever it was, it's gone." Dropping his barrier, he walked slowly forward, one hand outstretched, and when she finally turned her chocolate eyes on him he saw the despair and pleading in them. He couldn't help her, and a huge piece of Kaidan was crushed with that unforgiving fact.

Gently taking the gun from her hands was like removing the one thing holding her together, and he grabbed her to him as she sagged. Her hands clutched at his back desperately, her breath ragged in his ear.

He kept his voice low and soothing. "What happened?" Kaidan held her shuddering form, wishing with all his heart there was something he could do to protect her from the unreal.

"First it was Mordin. He even sang." Her voice sounded so incredibly weak it pained him to hear it from his beautiful warrior. "Then a husk. It was right there." She pointed where the asari doctor was standing rigidly in the entrance.

Kaidan saw Chakwas' look of sadness, and tightened his embrace, however futile it was.

"Do you still see them?" asked Dr T'Esana, crisply, straightening her uniform.

"No. It disappeared just before you came in. I'm so sorry, Doctor. I didn't mean…." The words trailed away, and Terra shook her head with a deflated sigh, knowing there was nothing more she could say to the doctor she'd nearly shot which could be adequate enough. Then Kaidan watched her gather herself in such a way only she could pull off, fighting to deny the hold her fear had claimed on her. She was pulling away from him, her body tensing as she stood strong. "The machine got readings."

T'Esana finally entered the room and began surveying the data, Chakwas joining her, and Kaidan felt like his wife's whole future depended on those streams of information. What would they tell?

"But…nothing's different," frowned T'Esana. She looked suspiciously over at Terra. "When did you take them off?"

"_After_ I saw Mordin," Terra answered, firmly. Her face said she didn't appreciate the implication.

T'Esana stared at Terra for a few seconds longer, her eyes briefly flicking to Kaidan then Chakwas, before returning to the data. "That's…troubling."

Kaidan didn't like the sound of that, and neither did Chakwas, judging by the way she pressed her lips together. It was looking like the Reapers and Leviathans had inflicted one last wound after all.

"What would you suggest now?" Chakwas asked, softly.

"It's a unique case so, for now, we start with therapy and medication and assess how it goes." The asari spoke confidently, however, Kaidan had noticed the slight shrug of T'Esana's right shoulder as she'd said it. That involuntary movement told him this doctor, with all her renowned expertise, really didn't know, and it terrified him. "I'd also need to implement frequent monitoring, naturally."

"Kaidan, I need to leave," Terra whispered, drawing his attention back to her. Then she actually jumped when her omnitool chimed an incoming call. "It's Wrex," she smiled, and it was a relief she had the krogan to take her mind off…her mind.

"Wrex," she answered, with that usual deliberate seriousness they always greeted each other with, though Kaidan could see how deep she'd needed to dig to do so.

"_Shepard_." Though it was his usual response, the krogan leader's tone instantly told Kaidan something was wrong. "_We've got a problem_."

Not what she needed right now. Or…maybe just what she needed; the Admiral was before him now, focused and beautiful. But with a look towards the severe face of Dr T'Esana, Kaidan worried just how much longer Terra would be allowed to keep the one thing she was relying on to get her through this.

**-o-O-o-**


	5. Chapter 5

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 5**

Shortly after Shepard had received a call from Wrex to state he'd been called in front of the Council and had just arrived on the Citadel, she and Kaidan had also been summoned. Ignoring the asari doctor's protest that she should stay, Shepard left. She couldn't get out of the hospital fast enough; an illogical fear telling her that if she lingered the walls would close in and she'd never escape.

Stepping out onto the main walkway was a relief, but her intent stride didn't falter as she headed for the cabs. Kaidan was steadfastly at her side, and she'd never appreciated him more. If not for him, she'd have likely killed an innocent today…. It hung over her accusingly in the back of her mind, accompanied with an image of herself in a straitjacket inside a padded cell, initiating a tremor within her. Kaidan had yet to say a word about it, but there was a subtle crease in his forehead as he sat beside her in the sky-car she then aimed towards the Presidium.

Kaidan rested his hand comfortingly on her thigh, but they travelled in silence, and Shepard was thankful for it. She just wasn't ready to deal with her unforgiveable and horrendous loss of control.

When she set the cab down at their destination, Kaidan's omnitool alerted him to a new message, and he frowned as he read it.

"From Vega. … Odd. It seems parts of the colony attacks were staged. There were more men on the ground than our colonists believed, in a separate location, but they appear to have bugged out before James discovered them. James has just liaised with the team sent by Coats, and they're saying the same thing. This could have easily turned into a trap. Vega hasn't had a response from any of my biotic squads yet, though. I need to check in on them; make sure they're okay."

Reading his worry, Shepard nodded her understanding that he didn't want to wait until after the meeting. "I can fill you in after," she assured, but Kaidan hesitated, and she looked at him, questioningly.

"Will you be alright?"

Shepard fought back the dismay. He had to be concerned she would hurt someone. Maybe he was right to be. Her ingrained instinct to react to a threat could well make her a liability to those around her…. _No_. One thing she did know for certain: she wouldn't allow it to happen again. This constant tremble that had taken root in her centre, would serve as a reminder.

Kaidan's hand caressed her leg soothingly. "You know what? I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. I know you'll be fine. I'll admit what happened earlier came as a shock, but I know you'll get a handle on it. You _will_," he emphasised, and though it was said in support, Shepard couldn't help but wonder if her husband was also trying to convince himself. She just gave him as much of a smile as she could muster and turned to exit.

Outside the vehicle, Kaidan reached into his thigh pocket where he'd slipped her gun earlier, and handed it back to her. That act alone told her how ridiculous she was to doubt his faith in her, and the look he gave her sealed it.

With a parting kiss, Kaidan settled himself in a quiet area to make his calls, while Shepard headed up to the Council Chambers. She gazed out at the Citadel as the elevator lifted her skywards. Everything was so perfect out there. But in here…. Maybe this was the galaxy's way of telling her she wasn't needed any longer….

Shutting down that pitiful line of thought, Shepard focused on what she was heading into. It was worrying that Wrex had been called here. With Bakara on the Citadel as the krogan ambassador, Wrex's presence shouldn't have been required.

When the elevator opened, Shepard hauled the 'Admiral' out again, but it was beginning to feel like a wayward shawl that kept slipping off, and she was having difficulty pulling it back round her again. Only imagining a rod of steel through her spine got her through the halls and up the steps.

The session had already begun - the four councillors standing prominently above them all. Wrex was at the end of the platform, the picture of pent-up restless hostility compared to Bakara's patient, still form beside him. They both heard Shepard's approach and parted so she came to a stand-still between them.

"I send an apology on behalf of General Alenko, Councillors. He's been delayed with an Alliance matter."

"Not to worry, Admiral," smiled the human councillor, Osoba. "We understand his divided commitments."

Though Sparatus merely gave a begrudging nod of concession, Valern crossed his arms in silent dispute, and Tevos straightened even further, her hands clasped behind her. It seemed the Council weren't so in-tune, and Shepard liked that Osoba was ruffling their proverbial feathers.

"What's going on?" she prompted.

"These idiots believe we've been attacking salarians," snapped Wrex, before Tevos could speak.

"Wrex. Restrain yourself," advised Bakara. "I am sure the Council have reason for their suspicions."

Valern touched the small terminal in front of him and a screen appeared. The images displayed were those taken by recovery teams from an uncomfortable number of locations. The savagely mutilated salarian bodies were difficult to look at, and Shepard had to admit that given the strength required for many of the wounds inflicted, it was likely that krogan were involved.

"Any troubles your end?" she asked Wrex.

Wrex shrugged, nonchalantly. "A handful left to join the wretched Blood Pack – the stupid ones, so no real loss there - but other than that, no." Out of a clan the size of Urdnot, three was nothing.

"Most can see that Tuchanka's thriving, along with our people," agreed Bakara. "We have something resembling a city emerging all around us for the first time in centuries."

"Too peaceful?" pondered Sparatus. "The krogan like to fight." Sadly, it was a stereotype that still applied to the majority. It was just their way. Strength proved worth on Tuchanka.

"Which is why we created the arenas," barked back Wrex, old habits keeping him on the offensive.

"It has become a central part of our new society," added Bakara. "Each clan has one. Fighters strive to get to the top of the ranks within their clans."

"And with it gain prestige for themselves, and first breeding rights with the females. Ensures strong offspring, too."

Shepard knew Wrex was heading Urdnot's leader board, maintaining his right to lead his clan, as well as proving to the other clan leaders he was still a krogan to be reckoned with.

"It's not working," Valern stated, surprising Shepard with his harsh tone. "We were led to believe you have control of your people."

Blood-red eyes bored into the salarian councillor. "I do. My clan would not act without my say so, and the other clans would go against that at their peril."

"So you are stating that your clan and those associated with you would not act without your authority?" verified Tevos, and Shepard instantly tensed as she saw what direction this was going.

"You can't think Wrex had anything to do with these attacks," she challenged.

Wrex scowled at them all. "I didn't. Whoever did this, it wasn't Urdnot."

"A survivor says otherwise," argued Valern, playing footage of a hospitalised salarian with a horrendous facial injury. When the poor soul mentioned Urdnot by name, Shepard knew things were going to get worse for her friend.

"He's lying," gritted out Wrex, taking an aggressive step forward that had Shepard flinging out her arm across his chest.

"He's a respected scientist, with no grudge against the krogan race," insisted Valern, heatedly. "I doubt the opposite could be said."

Shepard watched Tevos give the salarian councillor a warning look before facing them again. "We believe it is an accurate account."

"Like hell it is!" yelled Wrex, even the asari's softly delivered statement failing to sound reasonable to the krogan leader.

Shepard glanced at Bakara who was absorbing everything with a deceptive calm that hid the stiffness she could see in the ambassador's frame. Shepard understood completely, and she addressed the Council with that same anger simmering beneath her skin. "I'm surprised that testimony from one traumatised scientist should be enough to prove Urdnot were responsible for this. There was a time it required a lot more for you to take action." That dig dealt, she carried on before they could respond, though she noted that Sparatus at least looked ill at ease. "You know as well as I do that as the ruling clan, Urdnot is a well-known name across the galaxy. That this poor doctor would mention it in his delirious state, isn't remarkable. I know Wrex. He wouldn't risk everything the krogan have gained over the years for what amounts to a distinctly unimpressive and insubstantial attack on the salarian race."

"Damn straight," Wrex growled, fixed on Valern. "If I wanted you all dead, I'd take every krogan I have and dump them all right on top of Sur'Kesh. Wipe you all out where you're larger in number," he said darkly. "Make a day of it."

Terra sighed in harmony with Bakara at that unhelpful proclamation.

Unsurprisingly, Valern glared back at him. "Then perhaps you can enlighten us to the coincidence that the attacks have ceased since you left Tuchanka."

Wrex swung to look at Shepard and she held his gaze, an unspoken comprehension flitting between them. He was being set up.

"Urdnot Wrex," announced Tevos, and Shepard held her breath as she looked back at the asari councillor. "In the light of recent attacks against a Council race, and the evidence that currently suggests your involvement, we order you be detained here pending a full investigation into your role in the crimes committed against the salarian people."

"What!?"

"Ambassador Bakara," continued Valern. "We would advise you go back to Tuchanka and do whatever you can to ensure there are no further attacks, or we will have no alternative but to deal with the krogan _in force_."

"You can't keep me here," snarled Wrex.

"Wrex." Bakara's solemn voice stole their attention. "You must stay."

"Like hell." Wrex's hands fisted, ready for a fight, and Shepard realised Bakara was right. Valern was incensed by these events, and he had a lot of sway here. The salarians were twitchy right now, and that was evident in the way the Council were responding. They had to tread carefully, and she had an inkling that if Wrex wasn't reasoned with, he'd play right into the hands of the real aggressors.

She turned her back on the Council in order to face Wrex dead on, her hands on his arms, and her voice low. "Wrex. Whoever's behind this wants a war. They're expecting you to start something – here, today - to fight your way through anyone the Council puts in your way, and it will give them what they want. A clash like that will be on the extranet in no time. When they see it, it will give the rest of Urdnot and the other clans a signal to return to battle."

Wrex looked at Bakara, who nodded slowly before speaking. "We cannot let this escalate to war, Wrex. Tuchanka's children will not survive the collective force of the Council races. It will undo everything we've achieved."

Wrex considered the female krogan's words, then regarded Shepard. "You're the right hand of the Council, and an Alliance admiral. You'd be part of that 'force'. What would you do if the order came to take up arms against us?"

His words stunned Shepard as she realised the reality of the situation she'd be in if it came to that. But the answer wasn't hard. "Refuse. With or without the Alliance and the Council, I'd find the true perpetrators, and I wouldn't stop until the Council saw sense." She prayed it wouldn't go that far. The lives lost in the meantime would be unquestionably unacceptable.

Wrex appraised her with a relief she'd never thought she'd see in the hardy krogan, and those large hands rose up to rest on her shoulders. "I trust you, Shepard." With those simple words, the familiar weight of a race descended on her once more, and she briefly wondered whether the union of 'the Citadel races' was really just a thin veneer, making all of their alliances as fragile as the one between the krogan and salarians - vulnerable to the next ill-intention that could cut through the thin layer holding them together. She refused to let some vengeance-fuelled krogan drag Wrex and the rest of their race down a new path towards extinction.

Once Wrex released her, Shepard turned back to the Council. She wasn't about to let them have it all their way, and she spoke as though she had the right to make demands. "I understand your position," she declared, "but you know the proof you offered against Wrex is weak at best. You have no real grounds to detain him, _however_, he will acquiesce to remain on the Citadel for the time being - unrestrained but under watch, to allay your fears."

While the three seasoned councillors looked at each other, Osoba took his opportunity to speak. "That's a reasonable compromise, Admiral." She was sure she saw a slight smile pull at the corners on his mouth, but it was gone by the time his fellow councillors stared back at him in annoyance that he'd voiced a decision without their agreement.

"Indeed," submitted Sparatus, "though any communication off the Citadel will not be permitted."

"Neither should that guard be solely C-Sec," added Valern, unimpressed by the negotiation. "Urdnot Wrex's association with our Executor is a cause for concern. We have STG agents on the Citadel," Valern continued, gesturing to a nearby balcony where two salarians were watching the proceedings, and Shepard suppressed the grin when she recognised them both. "I will request their presence to oversee that Urdnot Wrex is guarded properly."

"Given the circumstances, do you really think _salarian_ guards would be appropriate?" pressed Bakara, unhappily, as Wrex shook his head in disgust.

"It will be alright, Ambassador," intervened Shepard, silently asking the ambassador to trust her. "STG are a fine group of soldiers, who I'm sure will remain professional."

Both krogan looked at her for a few more seconds before conceding to her judgement.

"Then it's agreed," said Tevos, relief colouring her voice.

"In the meantime, Admiral, I assume you will be ascertaining the true origin of these attacks," voiced Osoba, and it told Shepard he believed she was right, much to Valern's annoyance.

"I will." Shepard redirected her attention to Valern. "In the meantime, I urge the salarian people to hold back on their response. Your loss is intolerable, and I extend my deepest sympathies, but you don't have the full picture, and I truly believe you're looking in the wrong direction."

Valern lowered his gaze, looking deep in thought, but he said nothing. Instead, Sparatus spoke.

"Then good luck, Admiral."

With that dismissal, Shepard turned to Wrex and Bakara as the salarians tasked with Wrex's guard duty sauntered up.

"You remember Gardew and Cael, Wrex." Shepard's smile was broad as she welcomed them. "They were on Parnack with you."

Wrex shrugged indifferently. "All salarians look the same."

"Well met, Shepard," greeted Gardew.

"Well met, indeed," followed Cael. "And a pleasure to see you too, Urdnot Wrex."

"Whatever. Just stay out of my face, or I'll show your councillor what Urdnot would really do."

"Make an effort to dispel the opinion you're out for their blood, Wrex," sighed Bakara. "I will need to get ready to leave for Tuchanka." She enclosed Shepard's hand in hers. "Thank you, Shepard. Whatever happens, I know you will do all you can to stop this sabotage of the peace we have worked so hard for."

As Bakara walked away, Shepard addressed the salarians. "So what are you doing on the Citadel?"

"We came from one of our smallest colonies," answered Cael.

"Terrible business. Such unimaginable barbarity." Gardew shook his head at the memory.

"We were surprised when they reported a survivor elsewhere."

"From what we saw, they were very thorough," grimaced Gardew.

"There _had_ to be a survivor," said Shepard. "They would need someone to drop Urdnot's name and be believed."

"I'm thinking it's another salarian ploy," snarled Wrex. "We already know they'll go to great lengths to find an excuse to finish us."

Gardew and Cael looked at each other.

"Sadly, we can't dispute that," admitted Gardew.

"Our history speaks for itself," sighed Cael.

Wrex groaned. "I think I remember you two now." He speared Shepard with an accusing look she ignored. Shepard knew they liked to talk, but she liked the inseparable salarian duo, and they'd proven themselves when they'd stood up against their own Dalatrass, and later fought alongside them on Parnack. Gardew's torso doubtless bore an impressive scar as a reminder of that first disastrous incursion on the yahg home-world.

"But, we must add that there _were_ signs of a krogan presence on the colony we visited," imparted Cael, carefully.

"Says you."

"Wrex," admonished Shepard. "These two have earned more than your distrust. And we both know those attacks were krogan work."

"Fine," Wrex relented, crossing his arms.

"So, the question you need to ask is: who would benefit by getting rid of _you_?"

Wrex turned inward as he gave it thought.

"Admiral Shepard."

She spun at Tevos' voice to see the asari councillor had returned, a strange look on her face.

"The other councillors and I would appreciate your presence in the conference room. Alone, if you would."

A new foreboding creeping over her, Shepard gave a single nod.

"I'll head to the Embassy," said Wrex. "Find me there when you're done." With that, he stalked off, Gardew and Cael trailing behind and the waiting C-Sec officers falling into pace as they passed.

Re-imagining that steel spine, Shepard followed Tevos into the conference room, certain she already knew what it was about, and fearing what was to come.

-O-

Kaidan finished reading the report from one of his squad leaders, Commander Mila Hammond. All his squads had checked in now, and it created a puzzling picture. Every scene had been the same as James had reported, and it made little sense. Vega was right: there was more here than they were seeing, but with nothing else to go on, he wasn't sure what they could do to get those answers. For now, all the squads would be keeping a presence within the colonies for as long as it took to bolster the colonists.

When Chakwas' call came, her obvious stress made Kaidan stand up from the bench he'd parked himself on, because Chakwas was rarely unsettled by anything and that meant it was bad.

"_Kaidan! I tried to reason with Dr T'Esana – to get her to wait to see how Shepard managed under medication - but that stubborn woman wouldn't listen!_" railed Chakwas. "_She's sent a report to the Council, raising her concerns over Shepard's mental condition!_"

It was all Kaidan needed to hear before he was running inside the Council Tower, nearly colliding with Wrex who strangely seemed to have an entourage. "Where's Shepard!?"

"Private session with the Council."

He left Wrex behind, swearing as the elevator crawled up the side of the Tower. When Kaidan was finally released into the Chambers, he raced through the halls towards the room he'd stood in too many times during the leviathans return. The C-Sec officers on duty didn't attempt to stop him as he barged into the room.

Terra was standing alone, facing the councillors on the opposite side of the table, her posture so rigid it looked painful. When she looked at him, her complexion was pallid.

"General, I'm glad you're here." Osoba wasn't happy, and it was aimed at his colleagues. "I implore you all not to rush into this. We _need_ Shepard. The krogan respect her, and that makes her our best chance of retaining peace."

But Kaidan could see the decision was set amongst the other councillors, though Sparatus at least had a trace of apology on his face. Kaidan could only give Terra his solid presence which she once again, imperceptibly, leaned into.

Tevos was focused on Terra, determined to finish what she was about to say. "I am sorry, Shepard, but in light of the medical report we have received from the highly-esteemed Dr T'Esana, and the worrying incident she has noted that occurred within the hospital… we have no choice," reasoned Tevos, and Osoba walked out with an angry shake of his head. It didn't deter the asari. "Pending review after you have received the therapy and medical intervention the doctor recommends, we revoke your Spectre status with immediate effect."

Nauseous, Kaidan knew he was witnessing Terra's career cruelly disintegrating. The Council would pass this report on to the Alliance….

This was only the beginning.

**-o-O-o-**


	6. Chapter 6

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter 6**

Still stunned, Hackett stormed into his office on Arcturus and tried to call Terra. He'd just come from a meeting with the Committee, who had advised him that his daughter was to be taken off active duty due to 'mental instability'.

They'd tried to make out it was for her own welfare, but he knew the truth: their only concern was that the breakdown of their 'poster' soldier might leave the Alliance looking weak to their allies. It was already all over the extranet – the newscasters dream, and they delivered it with gusto, like their subject was an object with no feelings, because to them she'd long been public property.

Hackett had argued the Committee's decision - told them there was no evidence to suggest that Terra couldn't still function whilst being monitored - but these were people who were desperate to maintain their cosy position next to the Council races, and they followed their lead. Terra deserved better, and Hackett was angry as hell that once again politics ruled their actions. It seemed it didn't matter how much they all owed Terra, or how much of an asset she was, the powers-that-be were quick to over-look it all to save face and appear cohesive.

Unable to even get a connection to Terra, Hackett slammed this fist down onto the surface of his desk. This had completely blind-sided his daughter, and it was so unfair. Was this the price she was paying for saving them all? A hidden effect from the intrusion of prothean beacons, Reapers, and Leviathans, just waiting for her to believe she'd come through it all only to strike when she was least expecting it, and in a way she couldn't defend herself from.

And what did she get from her superiors? A pat on the head and a gesture to go deal with it somewhere quiet. It was times like this that Hackett understood why the notion of Cerberus had become appealing to so many – no bureaucratic and political bullshit.

He called Kaidan, and it rang for a short while before it was answered, and Hackett imagined Kaidan had needed to find a discreet place to take it.

"_Steven_."

"I've just been given the news about Terra."

"_I'm sorry I didn't call you. Things kind of escalated quickly. The doctor we went to didn't bother to give us any warning she intended to take it to the Council. Chakwas is livid about it_." His son-in-law's voice radiated that same anger.

"How is she, Kaidan?"

A heavy sigh came first. "_She's buried it behind so many walls I honestly can't tell. Right now, she's talking with Wrex over this situation brewing with the salarians. It's like nothing's happened. Damn it, Steven, they even took away her gun. I've never seen her look so hurt as when they relieved her of her weapon for 'public safety'."_

As Kaidan said the words, Hackett felt some of that pain, and an old instinct reared its head from before his daughter had ceased to be a child and didn't need his protection any more. If what the doctor's medical report was true – and there was still some part of him that refused to believe it – then Terra was truly as vulnerable as she was then. The thought of her breaking apart from within was truly devastating. Had he missed something? Were there signs he'd failed to notice?

As wonderful as the galaxy was as it opened up further around them, the wider the area became to watch over. Its inevitable problems demanded more of their time, and kept them too busy and too far apart to enable them to just be together in a single place for any reasonable amount of time.

One such problem was currently awaiting his attention - the datapad abandoned on his desk stared blankly back at him, its contents silently demanding to be read so he could begin to attempt to piece together what the hell was going on with the strange colony attacks.

"_Alliance Command are taking her off-duty too, aren't they?_" Kaidan's solemn voice emphasised just how much this would add to Terra's pain.

Hackett's jaw clenched. "Yes, they are. She'll get the call soon. They're calling it an 'extended shore-leave', but it's really a temporary suspension. They stressed she'll be retaining her full rank - she just won't be returned to active status until she's been declared medically fit." He knew that distinction wouldn't mean a damn to his daughter; what use was there in being called 'Admiral' when you had no ship? And they all knew someone else would be assigned to captain Normandy. The anger and worry surged forth again. "Sooner or later Terra will break, Kaidan. I can't influence the Council, but you have any time off you need from us. Do your best to be there for her when she falls."

"_I will._"

Saying his goodbye, Hackett knew he would have to wait for Terra to feel able to talk to him, and he hoped it wouldn't take too long for her to reach out to him. With the stark reality that there was nothing he could do to help his daughter, he could only bury himself in his work.

o

Shepard paced Bakara's office - the only room designated to the krogan within the embassies – though the ambassador herself was already departing for Tuchanka. Wrex's C-Sec 'detail' had been exiled to the far end of the room where they stood uncomfortably, while she and Wrex divided their time restlessly between sitting on, and pacing round, Bakara's desk. Cael and Gardew had decided to stand out of the way on the balcony, just a few steps away.

Kaidan was talking on the other side of the glass partition that separated them from the corridor, where he'd swiftly gone when he'd seen the caller. It would be her father.

Her fingers whispered over her wrist where she'd switched it off. She didn't want the call from Alliance Command that would have them repeat what she'd just been through with the Council. Shepard knew how it worked, under no illusion that she'd be treated any differently, and she just wanted to be Admiral Shepard for a little while longer before they pulled that out from under her too. But cutting herself off from them meant distancing her dad, and she hated that.

"Jorgal Thurak."

Shepard swung back to look at Wrex, shutting down every thought that didn't relate to Wrex.

"Leader of clan Jorgal - Urdnot's largest rivals," he explained, as Kaidan re-entered. "And they're traditionalists, which meant they weren't happy about the changes we made. They believe we're making too many concessions to the Council, and I'd agree," growled Wrex, "except that Thurak thinks we should be _taking_ what we deserve – which in his eyes would be anything salarian, for starters. The turians would be next on his hit-list."

"Very short-sighted," said Shepard. "He'd just be starting another krogan rebellion."

"And yet here we are," commented Kaidan. "Possibly on the cusp of just that."

Wrex took his turn to pace. "Without me leading them, it leaves the way for another contender to take control of Urdnot, but Grunt is the biggest challenger, and he's got the sense to listen to reason. Bakara will see to that. The other clans still respect Urdnot. They wouldn't go against our orders to maintain peace. We're the only reason the krogan have what we do. Maybe Thurak's hoping he can come in and take over, but he's got a pyjak's brain if he thinks Urdnot would submit to a Jorgal." He shook his great head. "I don't understand it, Shepard."

"We will. We've just got to find the pieces and put them together. We need to be smart."

"Without _you_ out there? What the hell are the Council thinking? There's nothing wrong with you, little sister. Want me to go visit this doctor? Get her to _re-think_?" he grinned, wolfishly.

_Yes. Go for it. Knock yourself out. Or her_. Shepard didn't say it. Instead, she gave Wrex her best wry smile. "I don't think bullying an asari doctor will help convince the Council you're not out to make trouble."

He grumbled at that. "There was a time when I liked trouble. Since meeting you, trouble now means big galaxy-shaking events that are easier not to court." Wrex went to the balcony, Gardew and Cael scattered to either side of him as Wrex apparently pretended they weren't visible, and looked out. "I worry what it all means, Shepard. I can't let the krogan fall now. I've had a taste of what it really means to be a krogan, and it isn't all this mindless fighting bull the likes of the Jorgals want. We're strong enough to be more than that. We just need to find a purpose – a cause - so we warrant titles better than 'brawlers'. If you're the sentinels to this galaxy, then we could be your army; ready to fight only the worthiest foes who seek to take it all away. _Defenders_."

"That's…oddly poetic, Wrex," commented Kaidan.

"Then you will be just that," said Shepard, the side of her fist thumping Wrex's chest. "No one has more strength of will than you to make things happen."

"I'm stuck here," he said, bluntly, his shoulders alarmingly starting to sag.

"Temporary setback," she threw back, this time clapping her hands to his upper arms like she was buoying them up.

His blood-red eyes locked on hers and he stood firmer. "Just like yours," Wrex uttered, with a certain nod of his head.

God, Shepard hoped so. She returned the conversation back to the issue at hand. "Until then, the Council have reassigned another Spectre to look into the salarian attacks."

"Wait…" frowned Wrex, as he analysed her words. "Not Alenko?"

"No," sighed Kaidan. "Valern wanted to have someone 'unbiased by existing friendships', so the files have been forwarded on."

"Which doesn't mean we can't do our own investigating," added Shepard, before Wrex could begin his rant about his people likely being in the hands of potentially biased salarians and turians. "Kaidan's still a Spectre."

"Right," he nodded. "And they omitted to state I _wasn't_ to get involved…."

Wrex grinned at that. "And you can take Normandy. Bring your female along," he smirked.

"Something like that," nodded Kaidan, and Shepard knew his quick glance at her had nothing to do with the krogan's terminology they were both so used to by now, but rather questioning whether it would be wise for her to go racing off before she'd addressed what was going on in her head. Kaidan, of course, didn't voice that to Wrex. "Might need to handle it a little more diplomatically – go through proper channels – but it's unlikely anyone in the Alliance is going to question me over a ship requisition request, or check with the Council."

"But first of all, we need intelligence," said Shepard. "So, as Kaidan and I haven't seen Nate all day, I'll leave you to see what our favourite broker can dig up, while we go relieve Traynor from babysitting duty. We can meet in the morning to see what we've got, and go from there."

With an assured nod, Wrex was already lighting up his omnitool.

One of the turian C-Sec officers stepped forward with his hand up to stop Wrex. "Sorry, but unless that's internal _and_ we're made aware of who you intend to call, we can't allow you to do that. Our orders came direct from the Council: Urdnot Wrex is not allowed to communicate outside the Citadel, nor with any other krogan."

"Then I'll do it," stated Kaidan, with a hardened stare at the officer who took a step back in response.

"No need, General," spoke up Cael. "You should go and enjoy your family."

"Yes, no need. _We_ can call your broker," said Gardew. "All Urdnot Wrex need do is give us the address."

"We can put it on speaker, and he can relay everything through us." Cael looked at the frowning C-Sec officer with an overly-pleased grin.

"Loophole," the two salarians said in time with each other.

With a barely-suppressed laugh, Shepard left the office and an impressed Wrex, with Kaidan reassuringly at her side as she walked away from her only avenue of distraction.

The air was heavy between them. He'd tried to talk to her when they'd left the Council Chamber, but she had only been able to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other then. Shepard didn't want to shut him out, though. She'd done it before, and it wasn't fair; they were partners and if things were reversed she'd want him to share it all with her. And so she would. Once she was back within the comfort and safety that was her home, with their son held close and loved, she would begin to address the maelstrom of emotion that she was struggling to contain.

o-O-o-

Sparatus leaned back in his seat, studying the turian in front of him intently. Detective Riker Tavitus had already made a name for himself on Palaven, quickly rising through the ranks, despite his relatively young age. Having the resolute young turian join C-Sec was an unexpected boon; Sparatus just hadn't counted on him setting his sights on the very people he was supposed to be working with.

"You're sure about this?"

"Yes, Sir. This tip-off is good. I've checked the inventories of the seized drugs, and the credit balances against those detailed on the reports at the time of the busts. There are discrepancies. They started small, but quickly got bigger. Drugs have been siphoned off in amounts that would have to be for more than personal use, and large values of those seized credits have been wired to accounts with fake names. All I need is your authorisation to access who set up those accounts and I'll be able to confirm exactly who misappropriated the funds there."

Sparatus was torn. His gut said it couldn't be true, but his head said to listen to the evidence, and Tavitus was asking for the means to provide it. Still, it made him extremely uncomfortable, especially given recent events. "You realise who you're accusing here?"

"I understand, Sir, but if I'm right, then he, or they, need to be held to account."

He didn't like it, but felt he had no choice. Signing the datapad that authorised the detective's request, Sparatus handed it back to Tavitus, hoping he hadn't made a big mistake.

-o-O-o-

When Shepard had walked through the door to their apartment, she and Kaidan were regaled with Traynor's tales of what she and Nate had been up to, before the Comm Specialist breezed ecstatically out with the gift voucher that Shepard presented her with in thanks, which promised a luxury pampering session at the most prestigious spa on the Citadel. Unsurprisingly, Traynor was headed straight there.

Almost as soon as the door had closed, the apartment's comm line was flashing in notification of an awaiting vid-call.

"I'll handle it," said Kaidan as she sighed, but she placed her hand on his chest to stop him.

"It's okay. I'll take it." Shepard knew as well as Kaidan that this was likely Alliance Command or a concerned friend who had caught the 'breaking news' on the newsvids Kaidan had been trying to steer her away from on the journey back here. "I can't hide forever." With a longing look at Nate, who was sat happily playing on the floor, so intent on his toy he hadn't even noticed them, she passed by him to take it in the rear lounge.

Answering the call, she sensed Kaidan's presence as he stood to the side out of view of the screen, where he could watch over Nate on the other side of the divider at her back but still be there for her. It bolstered her as she stood at attention.

As soon as the men and women appeared on the screen in their pristine uniforms, Shepard gave the required salute before standing at attention. She had a loud, rushing sound in her ears from the sound of her heart beating, just like it had done when she'd stood in front of the Council. Somewhere amongst the noise, her sub-conscious was registering their words as they began saying just what she'd expected, but she couldn't focus on anything but the soft sounds of Nate as he investigated his toy. She was so tense her muscles ached from her shoulders and down her back, yet she stared straight ahead at the people who were voicing her fate, and waited until they were staring back at her, waiting for some kind of response. Forcing out a polite, "I understand. Thank you," – the only words she had uttered during the whole meeting - Kaidan swiftly broke the connection. Apparently it was over.

Releasing her stance provided no relief from the tension running through her, but she managed to move to where she could see Nate. She hadn't lost her admiralty, but she had lost her crew, and her ship. What use was she without those? All she had now was her family and she felt an illogical desperation to keep them close before they were all torn from her clutches, too.

"I'm so sorry, baby," murmured Kaidan, and she sank into him when he offered her his embrace. "We'll get through this. Together. This isn't the end, and you mustn't give up. You can still fight this, just…not in your conventional way."

Shepard let those husky words soak in, and she imagined them as soldiers setting themselves up within her brain, ready to act on her word. Hope. Yes, the hallucinations could be indicative of damage caused by all those alien intrusions, but asides from those she felt normal. There were no other signs of deterioration. Maybe this was all it would be, and she clung to that. "You're right." She looked up at the wonderful man she'd married. "This is just another hurdle. God knows we've had plenty of those over the years."

"Absolutely," Kaidan smiled, smoothing back her hair from her face. "It's going to be tough, and frustrating as hell for you," he warned, "but you won't ever be alone, Terra."

"I know," she whispered before she kissed him. She'd been wrong earlier – this man would always be her safe haven, even now when the threat lay within her. He'd empowered her again; action was still hers to take. "I need to call Dr T'Esana. Arrange my first therapy session. … See what medication she suggests."

"You wouldn't rather we found someone else after what she did?" Kaidan frowned.

Shepard shrugged. "I don't need to like her. Chakwas said she's the best, and it's clear the Council respect her opinion. If I go to someone else for treatment, there's a chance the Council would want me to be re-evaluated by T'Esana before they'll reinstate me anyway. The sooner I can past this, the better. But first…" Shepard turned towards their son and joined him on the floor. "Hey, gorgeous guy." Beaming up at her, he bounced on his bottom with a squeal of delight, and immediately shifted closer to her. She nuzzled her nose against his soft face, loose strands of her hair tickling him so he chuckled. She loved that sound as much as she loved that baby scent he still had, and his tiny hands reached up for her face. She enclosed them in hers and he used the leverage to pull himself up to his feet where he wavered as he tried to balance.

"It won't be long before he starts to take his first steps all by himself," smiled Kaidan, sitting on the sofa.

Nate babbled as if in agreement, then stretched to use the coffee table as a prop so he could make his unsteady way towards his daddy.

"Just so long as I'm there to see it," said Shepard, watching Nate reach his destination, throw an excited sound at his father's praise, then carry on back to her, this time using the sofa. She welcomed Nate's arrival with a grinning 'clever boy' and a hug that he relaxed into, his little cheek resting on her shoulder as he reciprocated.

When the comm rang out again, Kaidan checked it. "Garrus."

Guiltily, she switched her omnitool back on, and Kaidan transferred it over.

"_Shepard! What-!? I- I've just seem some crazy report about you being…well, crazy! And losing your Spectre status!? Have the Council lost their minds?_"

"It's not so crazy, Garrus; it's _me_ losing my mind. I've had some…issues over the past day or so – seeing people, _things_…that can't be there, and… I've been taken off active duty by both the Council and the Alliance until they've been addressed." Nate was attracted to the orange glow at her wrist, and Kaidan had to distract him before he attempted to taste her omnitool. "I can't blame them. They're being cautious. Can't have another Saren swanning around causing problems," she added, with more light-heartedness than she felt.

"_Shepard… I… I don't know what to say…. I'm sorry I wasn't around_."

"Working on something big?" she asked, brushing over the apology he didn't need to make. Kaidan's omnitool chimed in the background.

"_We've been investigating a merchant here for a while now, and we made the bust today. Found a huge haul of smuggled goods, including drugs and weapons. This guy is in some major trouble right now, and I'm pretty certain I can get him to roll over on who his contacts are. If I'm right, it will trace back to Eclipse, and could even identify some big players on the Citadel itself_."

"Sounds impressive." She grinned as Kaidan tried checking his message while keeping it out of reach of the little hands that wanted it badly.

"_Yeah, it's a big deal. But…it won't hurt to let the guy stew in a cell for a while, so…I can come over_-"

"Don't even think about it, Vakarian. You've got a job to do. Besides, I'm fine." It was a statement no-one was buying, least of all herself, but Garrus would relent because he was a tenacious individual when it came to criminals, and he knew he was at far better use there than he was sitting on her couch offering platitudes.

"_Okay, then. If you're sure. You know I'm there if you need me_."

"I do. Thanks, Garrus."

She ended the call, grateful she had him, and knew it wouldn't be the last call she got. Typing out a quick message to all her crew, she asked them to please wait until the morning when she would address them all aboard the Normandy and answer any questions they had. The thought of her ship and crew being assigned to someone else was a dagger in her already damaged heart, but they all deserved to be out there, performing their roles, and the Normandy was an asset that shouldn't be left in dry-dock.

Reaching out to sweep Nate off his feet, Shepard tickled his tummy to get the instant chortle that never failed to chase away any bad thought with ease, to be replaced with her own laughter. "Dinner time, sweetness." She stood, taking him with her, and headed to the kitchen. "Anything interesting?" she asked Kaidan over her shoulder.

"Sorry?" He sauntered in behind her.

"The message." She placed Nate in the high-chair and headed for the fridge where she had already prepared a home-made meal for him.

"Oh, uh… no. Nothing." Kaidan leaned against the counter and made a spider with his fingers in order to entertain Nate while she warmed his food. He'd have fooled anyone else with his indifferent response, but she knew better.

"Kaidan Alenko!" Shepard admonished, giving him her 'I'm not fooled' look that involved one arched brow, and his face scrunched up apologetically at being caught. Then he sighed, his lips pressing together like he really didn't want to tell her.

"It was an invite from an old colleague, John Roque. From the first unit I was in actually. Seems several of them are on the Citadel and he thought it would be good to get everyone together for a catch-up."

Shepard stared at him, dismay pulling at her. "You weren't going to go because of me," she stated.

His eyes dropped briefly in silent confession. "I don't want to leave you alone. Not after everything today."

"Do you trust me with Nate?"

"Of course I do! Terra! Don't ever doubt that!"

"If everything was…normal, would you be going?"

Kaidan's mouth pursed again. "Yeah, I would," he admitted, reluctantly.

"Of course you would, because these are people you've worked with - people who had your back – and because getting together again after such a long time is a great idea that promises an evening of fun and laughter, and who knows when or if you'll get the chance again. You're not missing out on that because of me."

"Terra-"

"Kaidan. Put yourself in my place."

"I can't," he said, honestly. "I have no idea how you're feeling right now. I know you're scared, and I know you need me. What am I missing?"

"That I need what little normality's left. That it's important to me to know you're not holding back on enjoying yourself because you feel you need to babysit me. I'm a big girl, Kaidan, and no matter the title and responsibility they took away from me, I'm still the same person. A fighter."

Those lovely whisky eyes appraised her, and she saw the love and pride there, making her feel so much better than she thought she could considering the turn her life had taken.

"Yes, you are," he murmured, a gentle smile on his face. His hands went to her waist and tugged her close. "I love you, Terra Shepard." His lips ghosted teasingly over hers until she grabbed his head and demanded more, which he gave with a throaty laugh. His kisses never failed to ignite her insides, and now was no different.

A consternated squeal broke the moment, and they parted with laughter as Nate banged his spoon on his empty tray.

"I'm sorry, sweetie!" apologised Shepard, retrieving his dinner. Once Kaidan had kissed Nate's forehead, she placed the bowl in front of her youngster, grabbing another spoon so she could help him actually get something in his mouth. Before she did so, Shepard ran her free fingers down Kaidan's lips, enjoying the heated look he always gave her when she did it. "I love you, too. Now go."

"Yes, Ma'am," he delivered with a smiling salute, but she detected the slight reservation on his face before he turned to go. She watched him exit the apartment and was hit with a moment of apprehension. Her visions always seemed to happen when she was by herself…. Except she wasn't alone.

Returning her attention to Nate, she put her hands on her hips. "Really?" Then she could only laugh at the sight of him, food dumped out on the tray in his endeavour to chew on the bowl.

She _would_ be fine. She had to be.

-o-O-o-

**To: Wraith**

**From: D. Vosque**

**Just saw the newsvid on Shepard. I don't know how you did it, but I'm impressed. Okay, you've proven yourself, so I'm happy to proceed as we discussed. Remember my terms upon completion: Omega and Aria – all mine. **

**D.V.**

Darner sent the message and typed out another to go to each of his eight team leaders who were currently wasting time making nice with the various human colonists to keep up appearances. His other two teams had pulled out from their colonies when they saw that the Alliance fighters weren't biotic, as well as his people from the eight teams who weren't required after the ambushes.

It was time to get things moving. Darner grinned to himself. Life was going to get real good, real soon.

-o-

Yanis read the message from her boss and smirked, indicating with a small jerk of her head for the others to gather. Moving to a quiet area, well away from any of the colonists, she fidgeted in the unfamiliar armour that was a little tight in places, cursing the woman it belonged to for being slighter than her. The fact that Alliance marine 'M. Hammond' was dead was some small appeasement, though having to clean off the blood before she could use the armour had pissed her off no end. "Time to go, boys. Helmets on, and remember who you're meant to be. Make sure you're loaded and ready for action, but don't make it obvious."

Swapping her omnitool over to Hammond's, which she'd already used to make a false report to fool the Spectre, Alenko, she linked to the Alliance ship which had brought the marines here and requested a pick-up. Those dumb-asses weren't going to know what hit them.

**-o-O-o-**


	7. Chapter 7

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter Seven**

Kaidan walked into the thumping, vibrant atmosphere of The Orbital Lounge, which boasted itself as being the only club that gets your head literally spinning, thanks to its rotating dance floor. It even had attendants to help the tipsier revellers to step on and off without losing their feet from under them. It was a crazy concept, not to mention his worst nightmare with its strobe lights and booming music to add to it, but it obviously appealed to the small horde jostling excitedly for space on the substantial dance surface with its colour-changing under-lighting.

Just a few steps in, it quickly became clear to Kaidan that though it was only the central area that circled, it still created the illusion you were spinning round it; probably why the bars were faced outwards, so their bartenders didn't suffer motion sickness. Gritting his teeth, Kaidan looked away from the middle and focused on the outer edges where the seating was arranged in two distinct areas: high tables with stools that were closest to the dance floor and bar, and low tables surrounded by sofas for a more intimate and quieter climate next to the walls.

"Kaidan! You made it!"

He turned towards the voice and accompanying cheers of the others. Grinning at the older but still familiar face of John Roque, Kaidan made his way over, thankful they'd chosen the calmer place to socialise.

Roque had always been the life of the party, and had often forced Kaidan's head out of his datapad and omnitool in order to ensure he didn't end up secluded. At the time, Kaidan had always sighed at the disruption, happy to remain unbothered, but nevertheless did his part to be 'one of the guys'. Looking back now, he was truly indebted to Roque for that unwavering effort to pull him from his solitude.

"John, it's great to see you again," greeted Kaidan, with a handshake that led to a brief manly hug complete with over-hard pat on the backs.

It was a process which was repeated for the rest of his old friends – those that had survived over the years between anyway, which equated to four.

"Never thought you'd show," admitted Dane Yanson, a tech guru who Kaidan remembered as always being at his happiest tinkering or imparting his vast knowledge, which had suited Kaidan because he was eager to learn. They'd spent many an off-duty evening hunched over their omnitools in deep discussion. "Figured you'd be too busy what with being a General, Spectre, _and_ husband to the Saviour of the Galaxy, no less!"

Kaidan huffed at that. "Yeah, uh, I have to admit it wasn't an easy decision to walk out the door tonight, no offense. But Shepard insisted, and she was right: who knows when we'll get to do this again?"

"Amen to that, brother! Still, I know where I'd be!" laughed Lyle Berkov, whose glassy eyes inferred he'd been drinking for a while. "In fact, as you're _here_…perfect opportunity," ribbed the soldier, with a shark-like grin, pretending to walk off on his way to her, while raking a hand through his artificially-blonde flop of a fringe which he'd always insisted made him irresistible.

Kaidan's return smile was more a grimace. Lyle wasn't his favourite person. The chisel-faced, lean but muscular man used to boast of his reputation as the 'prince of one-night-stands', entertaining the less discerning members of the crew with his conquests. Finding it nothing but distasteful and disrespectful to the women involved, Kaidan had always walked off, and if Lyle's comment just now was anything to go by, the man hadn't matured.

"Just kidding, brother!" Lyle laughed raucously, slapping him on the back in a way that made Kaidan's hands curl into fists. "Man, you should have seen your face for a second there. Still don't know how you got a catch like that - I mean, you've got the looks, but you're a nerd!" Lyle shook his head in disbelief, and Kaidan wondered how Berkov had actually managed to survive all this time when he had such a severe case of foot-in-mouth. "Man, that's one woman I'd be more than happy to come home to tap every night!"

"Shut up, Berkov!" snapped the only female soldier in their old unit, Rissa Decanus.

His jaw clenched, Kaidan reminded himself the man was drunk, and had to consciously loosen his fist before he punched the man. Still, Berkov's reference to Terra grated on him. But thoughts of his wife worked to smooth down his raised hackles, and he could almost hear Terra singing 'caveman' at him. That made his smile turn to a genuine one, and he turned it to the woman still scowling at Berkov.

She was a pretty red-head who often got attention, though he'd never seen anyone succeed at capturing her interest. Kaidan had gotten the distinct impression she'd have been more than amenable to a little fraternisation with _him_ though, had he been willing. But he hadn't. He liked her – they'd had many a chat and laugh together – but, for him, that hadn't been enough to risk his career for. Unlike Terra….

Maybe he should call her; check she was alright. He shot that down as soon as the thought materialised. The only thing that would accomplish was to suggest he didn't think she should be left alone. Truth was, he didn't – not really – but not because he thought she might harm anyone, though that hospital incident had unsettled him. No, it was because she was undergoing an extremely frightening experience right now, including a huge and unexpected upheaval in her life and though she would stand tall and weather it all by herself just to prove she could, she simply didn't have to.

"Some people never change, do they? More's the pity," muttered Rissa, scowling at Berkov's back as he trailed Roque and Yanson to the bar.

Kaidan realised he'd phased out. "Huh. Yeah."

Her eyes trailed over him. "You're looking really good, Kaidan." Her mouth had a seductive curl and Kaidan felt a blush blooming.

"Uh, well…thanks. You, uh, you too." He was careful to make it sound like the casual returned compliment it was, and not a flirtation.

She smiled her appreciation. "For all his faults, Berkov actually had a good idea getting us together."

"I thought that was Roque."

"Berkov stumbled upon him, then heard about me being here from someone he'd been drinking with who came in on the same ride as me, and I knew Dane's been around for the last week. With the newsvids screening the Normandy's resurrection, it wasn't hard to track _you_," she added with a nudge. "John sent the messages because 'God's Gift' can't handle his alcohol," she added derisively.

"Huh! If I remember right, he never could."

Laughing, she settled on a sofa and Kaidan joined her as the others returned with a tray full of drinks, and as they formed a group round the table, Rissa began reminding them of some of Berkov's drunken antics. Before he could completely relax however, Kaidan sent a message to Garrus.

-o-O-o-

Garrus was sitting outside his suspect's cell, giving him the eye through the glass. The human kept glancing up to check if he'd gone, only to swiftly look away with a nervous swallow when he noticed Garrus was still there. That was exactly the response he wanted.

A beep from his omnitool took his eye off his target, but seeing the caller, he didn't mind giving the imprisoned man a small reprieve.

**Garrus,**

**I'm with some old friends who invited me out, after Shepard insisted I go, but I'm not comfortable knowing she's alone after everything that happened today. Are you able to find some time to keep her company until I get back? Without telling her I sent you, of course.**

**Kaidan.**

Huffing at the last part, Garrus could just imagine the shit Kaidan would be in for checking up on her by proxy. But Garrus had every intention of popping in tonight anyway. Catching bits of information from the newsvids and chatter from his periphery wasn't enough for him, especially when it came to Shepard. Damn it, she'd earned more than being the subject of ignorant people's gossip.

"Bellitis," he called out to the turian officer typing disinterestedly into his terminal. "I'm out of here for the night. I do need someone to take over my role here at this window, though. Think you can handle it?"

The officer stood instantly, pushed his chest out, and indicated to his extremely light grey eyes that seemed to burrow into Garrus'. "Born for it, Sir."

With an impressed nod, Garrus sauntered out, his mind already on his destination and what he could possibly say to Shepard.

-o-O-o-

Shepard finished making her tea and ambled over to the sitting area, curling her legs up under her as she settled on the couch, watching the flames from the fire opposite as she sipped. With Nate sleeping for the night, and Rorie unlikely to call for another hour at least, she was out of diversions. The quiet gave the impression that she and the angry-looking flickers of orange heat were the only living entities, and Shepard sighed. It was time to face things.

Placing her mug on the table, Shepard sent a message to Dr T'Esana requesting her first appointment. She still couldn't quite believe she was headed down a road of therapy sessions and medication. Even the thought of it left her numb. Her hand went to her head, like her problem was a something tangible. The message returned by the doctor was nothing more than a time. Late morning – it would give Shepard enough time to break the news to her crew and bid goodbye to them and the ship that had just welcomed her back. Her bottom lip quivered, and she sucked it in. It wasn't forever. She'd get them back. Eventually.

Gathering herself, she noticed the unopened messages from her dad and knew she owed him some peace of mind. About to call him, every muscle within her tensed as she caught a muffled sound that didn't belong in the silence.

Someone was on the other side of the fireplace.

Ever so slowly, Shepard rose up, her hand going to her empty hip. It was an automatic move - even if she'd still had her authority to carry a weapon on the Citadel, she always removed it as soon as she entered her home.

Who was it? What did they want? How had they gained access? How long had they been here? Were they alone? That last question was why she was edging left to get eyes on who it was while placing her back to the blanked out windows, her gaze ever so briefly scanning her surrounding area for sign of anyone else. Every silent step took her closer to the room.

With one swift movement, Shepard swung in low, her omniblade unleashing as her arm pulled back to strike.

The sight of Thane had her instantly faltering, her heart thumping hard in her chest. There was a small cry from Nate upstairs and she quickly stifled the fear that always seemed to slip through the connection that she normally had so much control over. Inhaling deeply, then exhaling slowly, Shepard calmed herself. She didn't need to be afraid. It was unsettling, yes, but that was all. This wasn't real.

There was no further sound from Nate, and Shepard tried to relax. Standing there with her omniblade out felt exceedingly stupid. It was reactions like that which had gotten her disarmed in the first place. Disgusted with herself, she closed it down without looking away from the hallucination that pulled at her heart. She missed Thane.

"Siha."

Pained, Shepard closed her eyes at that word. "Don't. Please don't." Her voice had degraded to a rasp. "You need to go. You're not meant to be here." She opened her eyes, but Thane remained.

"It's time to leave," Thane said, and he walked out of the lounge, accompanied by a soft padding sound she normally associated with bare feet on the flooring. It was out of place with Thane, not because he was wearing boots, but because he'd always walked silently in them. Shaking her head at herself for expecting her brain to make such a distinction when it conjured up these visions, Shepard nevertheless felt compelled to follow, needing to see it gone.

Rounding the other end of the fireplace, Shepard watched Thane walk towards the front door, wondering why he hadn't just faded away like the others. At the door, his head lowered, giving Shepard the impression he was experiencing abject shame. His back still to her, the image of Thane turned its head to look over its shoulder at her.

What she saw on that familiar face surprised her. It was the look of a tortured soul, and instinctively Shepard moved forward to offer comfort before she even thought about what she was doing.

"I am … sorry." This time the voice was incredibly soft and wispy, and nothing like Thane's.

Shepard halted, now level with the kitchen. A tightness formed in her gut, quickly travelling to her muscles. This was very wrong.

"Forgive me." Tears trickled down Thane's face, and then the hallucination did something it shouldn't have been able to do: its hand hit the door release.

As the doors slid open, Shepard registered the armed batarians on the other side at the same time as one of them shoved 'Thane' aside. The obvious threat superseded any confusion and Shepard went into survival mode, flinging herself sideways into the kitchen and out of their eyeline, initiating her cloak as she heard their boots in the corridor leading to the guest room and coming towards the kitchen, aiming to box her in. Eight hostiles - nine including whatever 'Thane' was – and she had no damned gun.

What she wanted to do was get to Nate, but they'd cut off the closest access point to him, and engaging those between her and the stairs would mean placing her back to those coming through the kitchen. She had no choice, swiftly heading left and past the study towards the other staircase as they searched for her.

"Don't waste your time, Shepard!" called out a commanding voice as she got to the stairs. "I see you."

There was a hitch in her heartbeat before she felt something impact her left side with a sting, her cloak dissipating at the same time. Though it was only a glancing hit, the whole area was flooded with a cooling sensation and she grabbed at her numbed side, pulling out the dart that had pierced her skin. They wanted her alive.

Swinging to look at the man who had spoken – the one clearly in charge - who stood casually in front of the door, she realised he was using an infrared visor which had rendered her cloak useless. Knowing she'd never make it up the stairs before he fired again, Shepard faced her attackers.

Six of the batarians emerged from the kitchen and she rushed forward, placing them between her and their leader and leaving them no time to aim at her. Shepard gave a quick, hard chop to the first one's neck, causing him to double over as he struggled to breathe through his damaged windpipe. The second batarian barely had time to adjust to her new position as she grabbed the collar of his chest piece, pulled him closer, and drove her omniblade through a weak spot in his armour, just under the arm. He jerked once, and she relieved him of his tranquiliser gun as he sank to the floor, then quickly darted back to the corridor, trampling through the plants and displacing the shale that lined it, the sound of the tranquil water-feature wall mocking her now as she braced herself, knowing the apartment's layout was working against her. They could come at her from both sides.

"Get the kid," she heard the leader snap.

It was an order that seized her heart with its talons, sending it into a panicked beat, her first instinct to ensure they _didn't_ get to Nate.

Two batarians were rushing up the stairs while another two came at her from either side. Shepard sent a dart into the forehead of the one appearing near the study, sending him flying back, then in one fluid motion crouched down onto a knee and spun on it. The move meant the other batarian's shot went over her head and she planted her own in his neck, then leapt up and kicked the batarian hard in the midriff, knocking him back so he skidded across the floor at the bottom of the stairs the others were halfway up.

Her protective rage sent her racing out towards the rear lounge, sending an incineration blast up the stairs as she dived over the still batarian on the ground, and back into cover. The ascending batarians didn't arrive on the landing, screaming in panic as they went up in flames; their uneven footing helped topple them back down where they rolled over and over in their bid to douse the flames.

She counted them up in her head. One on his knees near the kitchen, clutching his throat as he tried to breathe, his eyes rolling back, then collapsing; one dead on the floor from her blade; the one she'd shot in the forehead, and she could see his boots from here where he lay numb from the tranquiliser; another near her feet, awake but also unable to move; and the two burned, now lifeless bodies, made six.

Shepard peeked round the wall. She was no longer counting the strange being who was slumped against the wall beside the door, hugging its knees to its chest, no longer looking like Thane. She had no time to dwell on its features beyond the obvious: translucent skin, completely hairless, naked, and female. Some kind of shape-changer? Defenceless in every other way, it…_she_ was clearly enslaved.

The batarian leader still stood at the door, arms crossed. Seven. Where was the eighth?

The cry from the balcony sent a chilled shockwave through Shepard, and she froze as the eighth batarian appeared – he'd used the far stairs whilst she'd been distracted. He was holding Nate up by his leg so he dangled upside down, a vicious-looking knife pressed to his belly. The meaning was clear: surrender or her son would die.

"Accept it, human," said the leader. "You're not getting out of this one."

Battling the frenzied turmoil within her, she tried to think. She could use the tranquiliser gun on the man above her, but there was no certainty he wouldn't still be able to make good on his threat before he succumbed. It was too risky, and she couldn't see any other options.

Shepard was besieged with fear, not for her own life, but for her son's. She'd isolated herself, and now she desperately needed help.

-o-O-o-

Garrus exited the cab and started towards Shepard's apartment block, having to push his way through a large group of very loud revellers who were blocking the way as they waited for more cabs to no doubt take them on to other places of entertainment. Garrus winced at the exuberant shouts and singing that drowned out everything else.

One female human got the wrong idea as he tried to nudge past her and, being under the influence of alcohol, she began to dance provocatively against him. Awkward was an understatement, and Garrus instantly held her away from him at full arm's length, checked his path was clear, then released her as he swiftly made his escape. The apartment door had never looked so damn far away before.

Still, reliving the experience to Shepard might amuse her; take her mind off the crap hand she'd been dealt.

When someone grabbed his arm, Garrus turned with a sigh at the persistent female. Only it wasn't her. Instead, he was faced with one of his newest detectives, with four officers just behind him.

"Tavitus. Is there something you need?" Garrus said loudly, trying to be heard.

Tavitus frowned at the mass of people, and Garrus gestured towards the apartment block. With a nod from Tavitus, he led the way into the foyer, waiting for the doors to close out the noise.

"Executor Vakarian," Tavitus said with gravitas, handing out a datapad to him. "This is from the Council stating I have authorisation to take you into custody for the charge of embezzlement."

Garrus couldn't have been more stunned if the young turian had told him he was a Reaper in disguise. "Embezzlement! What in the spirits sake are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke? Because I'm not amused." He looked through the datapad only to have the severity of the situation smack him squarely in the face. This was official - from Councillor Sparatus himself. He was, with immediate effect, removed from his position.

"This is real," said Tavitus, crossing his arms as he levelled a judgemental look. "You and your cohorts got caught."

"Cohorts?" Garrus worried who else had been dragged into this ridiculous claim.

"You know who. And embezzlement's just the beginning."

The officers had moved to surround him – men he no longer commanded – and Tavitus removed the datapad from his hand.

"This is a mistake, Tavitus. Whatever this is about, I'm not involved."

Tavitus nodded at an officer to proceed, and Garrus' wrists were cuffed and his weapon removed. "Evidence suggests otherwise, Vakarian."

Not even a 'Sir'. Anger flared up within Garrus at being disregarded as a petty criminal – he'd damn well earned respect and this upstart wasn't giving him one iota. "Then your evidence is bullshit."

"We can discuss it in a cell."

With no option but to go with them, Garrus let them lead him back out onto the Strip, which was quieter now that the revellers had moved on. He was boiling with fury at Tavitus, trying to work out whether this turian was involved in setting him up or just an oblivious pawn for someone else. He had enough enemies, he was sure.

Everything had been stripped from him with a few words from the Council, and he got a far clearer idea of how Shepard was feeling in that moment. It was jarring. One minute everything was running smoothly, and the next it was nothing but uncertainty. His job was gone, and now he was left battling a nonsense charge.

He looked back at the retreating apartment block where his closest friend resided – unaware of what was happening to him. As he faced the C-Sec shuttle that had arrived to transport him, Garrus had already decided that she had enough to deal with without adding his problems too. He wouldn't ask for her assistance. As difficult as it would be to make the call, Garrus needed his father.

-o-O-o-

Shepard was fixed on the point of the blade that had started to dig into Nate's skin.

Though tension ran through every part of her, Shepard felt defeat pull at her. "If I surrender, will you let him live?"

"Sure," answered their leader. He was too blasé, and she didn't trust it, but what choice did she have?

Dropping the dart gun, she stepped out into the batarian leader's view and sank to her knees with her hands up, prepared to beg for her son's life. She'd failed to protect him, and his wailing and writhing was torture.

She was aware of the lead batarian finally moving, then the slight sting at her neck sent a cool sensation throughout her body, relaxing her muscles, and she began to feel disconnected from her limbs yet very aware. Her body crumpled to the ground, her view changing from Nate to the ceiling, only to be filled with the batarian's face as he crouched over her.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to get my hands on you, Shepard. Today is the first day you answer for Aratoht." He then started to speak into his omnitool, calling for a clear-up team.

Shepard noticed how unhurried this batarian was. Like he knew Kaidan wouldn't be back anytime soon, and she worried that something had befallen him. Then the batarian grabbed her face and tilted it towards Nate.

"Take a good last look, Shepard."

Tears filled her eyes.

That's when she noticed the figure flit soundlessly over to Nate, righting him and pulling him out of the batarian's hold and away from the knife, cradling him comfortingly. Shepard found immense relief in that.

This…humanoid…was like none she'd ever seen before. This was the being that had somehow taken the appearance of those Shepard loved, fooling her into believing she was going mad.

"You," barked the leader. "I didn't tell you to move."

Shepard watched the almost ethereal woman cower, visibly shaking yet holding Nate closer to her as he cried.

"I beg…forgiveness, Master," shook that wispy voice.

"You know the rule: act out of turn and you pay a price." He folded his arms and Shepard inwardly shivered at the nasty look on his face. "Kill the kid."

The female looked as horrified as Shepard felt. Her own body was trembling yet unresponsive no matter how hard she willed it to move to save her son. Instead, she could only watch as this enslaved being bowed her head in submission to her 'master'. Ignoring the knife offered by the smirking batarian beside her, the female carried Nate away, and Shepard's inner voice was screaming, begging – to God, to anything that might be able to help stop this.

The leader gestured with his head at his minion above them. "Make sure she does it."

Shepard could only watch as the batarian walked casually off the balcony, while she was trapped inside herself. She wanted to connect her mind to Nate's, to send him her love, to soothe him so he wouldn't be alone, but her mind was too frenzied to form it.

When Nate's crying suddenly stopped, a cold, unrelenting fist of despair punched its way into her stomach, reaching up to rend her heart apart, bile rising into her throat.

The batarian appeared at the balcony, giving his leader the nod it was done, and Shepard's tears fell.

**-o-O-o-**


	8. Chapter 8

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter Eight**

Security Chief Hanaya Silva looked over the gallery railing, affording a view of the large foyer that welcomed those who had need to dock. The _Carousel_ space station, was a little busier than usual. The large asari-built research platform was primarily the building yard for their most advanced ships yet, and they currently had a small fleet's worth of vessels in mid-construction.

Like the turians, salarians and humans, this was one of several built specifically between prime mining sites for easier and faster access to the resources nearby, negating the need to transport minerals all the way back to their home planets.

They also served as fuelling stations, and the Alliance ship _Bayonne_ was docked for just that, its crew taking the chance to stretch their legs and check out what parts of the station they were allowed to explore.

Hanaya watched some of those loitering below with an unease that surprised her. These were Alliance soldiers. Allies. Yet there was something that didn't sit right, and she couldn't relax.

"What's wrong?"

Sparing nothing more than a glance at her second-in-command, Hanaya returned to her watch. "They don't seem as…professional…as I had expected." Yes, that was it. There was a laziness in their postures, and their demeanours weren't as polished as those she'd met before.

"They're probably new. The humans are as busy recruiting as we are. Everyone's in a rush to get troops out before mercs become a nuisance. Training's probably focused more on making sure they know how to fire a gun than how to conduct themselves."

Hanaya saw one of them leer once more at a couple of her people as they passed by, and it made her uncomfortable.

"_Chief, the Alliance ship's re-fuelled._"

"Good. Get them on their way," she responded to Station Control.

"_Yes, Ma'am._"

"So much for our hospitality," smirked her second.

"I'll live with it."

Fifteen long minutes passed before she watched the Bayonne finally leaving.

"Want to join me for a drink?" breathed out Hanaya. "I feel like I need one."

"Sure."

By the time the two of them had descended from the gallery to the floor below, the first explosion rocked the station.

"What the hell's that!? Get me a damage report!" yelled Hanaya, and the Alliance ship immediately, and unjustifiably, came to mind.

"Internal!" informed her second, who had scurried over to the nearest terminal. "Localised! But it doesn't make sense! There's nothing in that sector that could blow!"

Hanaya didn't have time to contemplate what that meant before the answer became all too clear as one after another, more explosions began to tear apart the station around them. Bombs.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was buzzing a little from the alcohol in his system. It had been a while since he'd allowed himself to drink this much, and it created a horrible crawling in his chest as he began associating the feeling with that time he'd drank himself into oblivion in order to deal – or rather _not_ deal – with Terra's death after the SR-1 went down.

As good as this night had been, as much as he had laughed as they reminisced, Kaidan's heart wasn't there with them. The past was gone - the journey he'd taken to get to where he was, full of lessons he'd hopefully learned from - and only the present and future mattered. He wanted to go home. In fact, Kaidan felt an inordinate _need_ to be with Terra, and he wanted to be there _now_.

"Guys, this has been really great, but I think I'm done for the night." Slinging back the last mouthful from his glass, Kaidan stood up.

"Aww! Come on! Kaidan! The night's still young!" reasoned Berkov, and though he was seated the man still looked like he might fall over, he was so inebriated.

"I know, but I should be going."

"You gotta stay for one last drink, at least," reasoned Roque. "So we can make a toast!"

As if reading Roque's mind, a batarian appeared with a tray of shot glasses. "Compliments of the house. It's an honour to have you visit our establishment, Spectre Alenko."

"Uh, thanks," Kaidan said, accepting the glass he was handed.

"We always welcome the Alliance, too," added the batarian, who passed a glass to Rissa, then offered the tray out for the others to take their own.

"Sweet," grinned Berkov. "Definitely doing this again, Kaid, buddy. I've never gotten a free drink before," he raved, before knocking his over as his dulled senses failed to send his hand to the right place. "Ah, shit."

The rest of them laughed.

"It's probably for the best," said Rissa. "You're going to be puking your guts out tonight as it is."

Roque stood and lifted his glass, and Yanson and Rissa followed suit while Kaidan helped Berkov to his unsteady feet. "It's a damned miracle we're still here, and that's thanks to you and your wife, Alenko. So cheers to you both. Without you, tonight couldn't have happened, and it's been a good one."

"And to those who didn't make it," said Kaidan, attempting to take the focus off him. "They were in our thoughts."

"To old comrades," nodded Rissa.

"To us lucky bastards," added Yanson. "And may we still be around to do it again."

"Yeah. What you all said," agreed Berkov, promptly falling back into his seat as the rest of them downed their shots in one and instantly started coughing as the strong liquid burned its way down their gullets.

"Damn!" winced Kaidan. "What the hell was that!?"

"I dunno, but it was wicked stuff," grimaced Yanson.

Kaidan could already feel it affecting his head.

"Okay, that's done it for me," announced Rissa, her face now in a serious frown. "It's messing with my head, whatever it is." As if to prove it, she wavered on her feet and Kaidan gripped her arm to steady her even as his own head spun.

"Me too," Kaidan said. "You guys staying?"

"I'm going to see if I can't get some caffeine into this fool here," Roque gestured at Berkov, who now had his head tipped back as he dozed. "Might need some myself after that. Until next time, take care of yourselves."

Yanson nodded that he was going too, and the three of them meandered out.

Exiting the club was like inhaling fresh air that brought a wonderful quiet and calm with it. Not that Kaidan could fully appreciate it right now. Yanson wordlessly waved goodbye as he went off down a passageway in the opposite direction, and Kaidan and Rissa made their way towards the cabs.

"Shit, Kaidan. I feel really weird."

"Ditto." His vision was going and Kaidan quickly got to a low wall and slumped against it, just so he could close his eyes for a bit. He felt Rissa's hand on his shoulder.

"You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, I'll, uh… I'll just sit here for a bit. Wait for my head to clear. You should probably do the same."

"Sounds sensible, but I think maybe I'll try and walk it off. I'm definitely not fit to drive, and my hotel's not too far away."

"Then I'll walk you." Even as he said it, Kaidan wondered if he could actually walk at all.

Rissa gave a soft laugh. "Always were the gentleman. I missed that. Okay. We can stumble through the wards together."

Then she made an 'oof' sound, and there was a scuffling. Opening his eyes, Kaidan tried to focus, alarmed to see she wasn't there. He clambered back to his feet, but then Rissa appeared from his right.

"You okay?" Kaidan checked, though his own vision spiralled nauseatingly.

"I was sick. Feeling better now."

Though she was only next to him, Rissa's voice sounded far away and a little disjointed. Kaidan managed a half-laugh. "I'm actually jealous," he mumbled. He expected her to laugh too, but there was no response. Though his eyes felt incredibly heavy, he tilted his head to the side to see Rissa staring at him blankly.

"Let's go," she said, lifting his arm over her head so it rested across her shoulders, and her arm went to his waist to support him.

Kaidan wasn't so sure who was helping who home now, and their first steps were staggered at best, but they somehow got into a rhythm. Yet Kaidan still struggled to keep his eyes open, and as he trailed down a corridor, arm in arm with Rissa, he chastised himself for having that last drink when all he'd wanted was to get home to Terra.

-o-O-o-

Jorgal Thurak was stood in a dug-out, watching the arrival of the female, Bakara, through his scope. The heat from Tuchanka's sun was strong enough to make his hump feel like it could melt, and it irritated him as much as Urdnot's existence.

"You said that Wrex would bring the war to us," grumbled his brood brother, Thug.

"Seems Urdnot's king has lost his quad. Should have known. He's no real krogan. Not anymore." Thurak lowered the scope now he was sure that Wrex was not present. "Like the ambassador, he's nothing more than a varren on the aliens' leash."

Having seen enough, Thurak made his way out of the trench, eager to get back to the cool of the waiting tomkah. There weren't many living things that ventured out during the hottest part of the day, for good reason, and as Thurak passed the green foliage that was becoming more abundant now the females cared enough to nurture it, he was further aggravated that the plants could thrive without withering in this heat, where he couldn't. It was a weakness, and Thurak stopped outside the tomkah, deliberately enduring the intensity while he waited for Thug to catch up. It was a display of his superiority to the younger krogan who barrelled inside the vehicle with his head bowed submissively. When Thurak did step in, it was unhurried, and he refused to welcome the shade. He was a true krogan.

Once the hatch was slammed shut, the tomkah began forging its way back to Jorgal territory.

"So what now?"

"Now we use our back-up plan," said Thurak. "Urdnot's leaderless."

"The female-" Thug broke off under Thurak's challenging glare.

"Females cannot lead clans. They only serve as breeders."

"The tank-bred stands in Wrex's stead."

Thurak gave a snort of derision. "Who would follow a tank-bred when a better candidate's put forth? And we have that." He could almost taste the blood of battle dawning of them. "Prepare our clan. We move soon."

-o-O-o-

Shepard had finally regained feeling in her body, but her hands had been cuffed behind her back; her omnitool and blade removed. She lay on her side, staring up at her balcony, drained of emotion. Every now and then a shudder emanated from deep within her, before subsiding for a while until the next, like her body was forcing her to acknowledge the shock and grief her mind was resisting.

More batarians had entered her apartment, dealing with the bodies of those she'd killed, while the ones she'd knocked out with their own tranquiliser now scowled at her as they helped remove any sign of the altercation that had taken place here. She should have wondered why, but Shepard was having trouble caring about anything but the vacant space inside her.

Nate…. She wanted to reach out and touch that sweet mind she'd been granted the honour of sharing, but she couldn't face being met with nothing but…nothing.

Kaidan had been gone too long as well. She'd urged him to go and enjoy himself, but she knew he'd have been home hours ago if he had been able to. She hoped she was wrong. She hoped he was still enjoying the opportunity to reunite with old friends and had gotten absolutely drunk while doing it.

That was the image she tried to maintain: Kaidan stumbling back from the bar, arm in arm with an old mate, laughing as they went. And Nate…. Nate was asleep in his bed…. She suppressed the sob. That last one she couldn't hold on to.

"All done."

The leader nodded at his lackey. "Slave!" he shouted out, and the woman hurried down from where she'd been sitting on the stairs, and bowed in front of him. "You know what I want from you next. This will be your most important role yet. Mess it up and I will string up every one of your offspring and torture them for the rest of their days. Now go do what you need to." He flicked his hand in dismissal, and the female humanoid instantly moved away and knelt in front of Shepard.

From this close, Shepard could see the desolation in the woman's silver eyes, set in a face that was not used to seeing such atrocity. Whatever race she was, she had endured horrors not akin to her way of life. Her hands trembled as they rose to Shepard's face, who noticed that her central fingers were fused just like a drell's, and they rested gently at either side of Shepard's head. Then the woman lowered her own face, closing her eyes as she placed her forehead to Shepard's in a way that felt oddly intimate.

There was a caressing warmth and Shepard could feel this being accessing her mind, yet she felt no force. It was so gentle and apologetic it surprised Shepard, and she had no instinct to deny her.

Before her eyes, the woman's face began transforming, but not in shape. She was the same beneath, but her skin took on the image of Shepard herself. It was an illusion, like a chameleon, but instead of the skin blending into the environment – which she now understood it could also do - it was mimicking what the being's mind saw. But this humanoid could do more than that: she could use Shepard's memories – accessed through touch - to recreate a person's demeanour and voice. This woman was remarkable, and in the hands of these batarians she was the perfect tool to gain access to anyone they wished.

_Shanti_. It was whispered to Shepard like knowledge re-surfacing. Shanti was the name of the race. Then other thoughts and images attached themselves to that name, building up a picture of a people who were at one with the natural environment in which they lived, who harmed nothing, nor took any more than was offered by the trees that dropped their fruits. What Shepard was being given was like the prothean cipher – an understanding of a culture so basic there was no hint of anything close to technology.

Then Shepard was offered a memory that was not her own – no feelings were attached, purely the scene as it unfolded through the eyes of this woman – and Shepard nearly pushed it away as she realised it was what happened to Nate. But there was only a soft assurance in response, and trusting that, Shepard allowed it in.

_Rushing down the hall to Nate's room, she touches his mind, lulling him to sleep and placing him inside the closet, safe. She grabs a baby doll she had noticed during her many times within the apartment – so life-like – and places it in the cot. Hearing one of the masters strolling in, she grasps up a pillow from the bed and presses it over the plastic face. A master is there, breathing over her, looking down. She thinks he's going to lift the pillow, but he sees the foot sticking out from the edge of the blanket – unmoving – and he chuckles as he leaves the room. _

Shepard was so overcome with relief that she couldn't stop the tears. Nate was alive, upstairs asleep in his hidden place. Tentatively, Shepard reached out with her mind and found that beautiful, slumbering mind, careful not to stir him, then left him so she could send a thank you to this woman who had risked so much for her son. The batarians may have thought they'd broken this being's mind, but there was something that still held strong.

Shepard reached out, needing to know this woman's name.

_Zaliesh._

Then Zaliesh was leaving just as gently as she had entered, leaving behind a feeling that Shepard could only equate to a mental hug. The Shanti were a beautiful, innocent people, and it angered Shepard that the batarians would use them like this.

Someone had switched on the screen in the rear lounge, and the news began streaming into the apartment with a surreal normality.

"Wait for the news, then go where I showed you earlier," ordered the leader, prompting an immediate nod from Zaliesh, wearing Shepard's face. It lent another dreamlike quality to the moment, but Shepard tried not to dwell on it – what was about to come on the news? "Take this when it's time." The batarian grinned as he handed Zaliesh a pill. "It'll put a little aggression in you. Remember: you're going to be watched, so make it good. They'll put you in a cell. Say nothing. Give it a few hours and then get out and to the ship. Understood?"

Another nod from Zaliesh, eyes down, but the batarian lead grabbed her face and made her look at him.

"Don't think about making a bid for freedom. You don't turn up and your children will die," he warned. Then he gestured up the stairs. "Go put on a uniform."

With one last look at her, Zaliesh disappeared up the stairs, and Shepard was left wondering what the hell they were planning to do with her lookalike that would get 'her' arrested.

"Let's get you to your transportation," the leader sneered.

There was another sting at her neck, and once again she was left detached from her body – they couldn't have her attempting to escape or garner attention.

As she was hauled upright and towards the door, Shepard's eyes went to where her son was, knowing Zaliesh would care for him for as long as she could. The woman was stationary on the balcony, a mirror image, looking forlorn and in need of aid. But Shepard had seen something that could prevail through all this.

Whatever happened next, Shepard wouldn't break either.

**-o-O-o-**


	9. Chapter 9

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter Nine**

Joker paced the CIC, wringing his cap because it gave his usually-busy fingers something to do. Traynor stood at her station, but with her back to it, arms wrapped around herself as she watched him walk by her, but she said nothing. Neither did the rest of the crew who had congregated here awaiting their captain.

Except she wasn't here, and according to a stunned Altair who had woken Joker up with an early call, late last night Mikhailovich had left the ship she was piloting in order to take command of Normandy. Joker's endeavour to discover what was going on had been unsuccessful; Shepard's omnitool wasn't connecting, and Kaidan wasn't answering his.

"Do you think she's alright?" murmured Traynor, as he passed her again, and this time Joker halted.

"No. No, I don't!" The cap got crushed with his vehement statement, and despite everyone's focus on him, he continued. "You saw what they're saying about her on those newsvids yesterday, right? The Council's ditched her, and she's not here. She's never not here when she says she's going to be! And I can't get hold of her, or Kaidan. Something's very, very wrong." Joker looked over the crew, their faces as confused as he felt.

All except one. Chakwas was staring at her feet, apparently in deep thought, and Joker nudged his way over to her as he realised that if any of what they were saying about Shepard's mental decline was true, then Chakwas would have been Shepard's first port of call.

The doctor saw his approach and immediately raised her hand in a silent order to stop. "Don't ask, Jeff. You know I can't tell you anything pertaining to Shepard's medical status."

"So there is one," he pushed, and Chakwas sighed in place of the denial he was hoping for. "Shit…." Joker was completely knocked off balance by it all. But there'd been no warning signs, and even with Chakwas' non-denial, he couldn't imagine Shepard losing it. "Not Shepard. She's screwed up tighter than anyone I know."

Of course, Chakwas maintained her professional silence.

"Explain to me why she isn't here," he demanded from the doctor, like she had all the answers.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe she had an unexpected call from Command…." Her voice trailed off as she, like the rest of them, realised what that could mean.

"That's it," decided Joker. "I'm going to call Hackett. He's got to know something." He hadn't taken more than a couple of steps towards his bridge before he faltered at the sight of the admiral entering the ship. Around him the crew were standing at attention and saluting as the man approached.

"Have you forgotten protocol, Commander?" snapped Mikhailovich when he got level to Joker.

Everything within the pilot reacted negatively to the presence of this man, and it wormed its way into his tone. "Something you need, Sir? Directions back to your ship?"

The man's eyes squinted at the petulance. "Admiral Mikhailovich. I'm taking charge of Normandy, effective immediately. She and her crew will be placed at the head of my fleet. Shore-leave's over."

"Why? Where's Shepard?" Joker didn't care that Mikhailovich's jaw visibly tightened. The admiral was irritated, but Joker was angry and scared.

"_Admiral_ Shepard is on medical leave until further no-"

"But _where_ is she? Why hasn't she said goodbye?"

Instead of answering him, Mikhailovich pressed his lips together, obviously peeved that Joker had interrupted him. "I've heard plenty about you, Commander Moreau, and let me make it clear to you now that I won't stand for any of your nonsense. You will show respect due to your commanding officer, or I will have you replaced. Understand?"

Joker breathed through his nose, keeping his mouth firmly shut to prevent his resentment from escaping further. He just wanted some damn answers. Where the hell was Shepard? She'd have busted a gut to get here before this asshole.

"Good," said Mikhailovich, mistaking Joker's silence for subservience. Then he turned to address Clay. "You there. As an Alliance vessel, there's no place for a quarian when we have our own engineers to place. You have leave to re-join your people."

The crew's murmured disapproval rippled through the CIC.

"Admiral," disputed Adams. "Clay'Gerrel has a lot to offer us. He provides a unique knowledge-"

"Are you saying we don't have talented people, Engineer Adams?"

Joker shook his head bitterly. The admiral had clearly had time to commit their names and files to memory.

"No, Sir, but-"

"My decision is final." Ignoring Adams as the engineer went to Clay, who looked a little lost at the sudden displacement, Mikhailovich spoke to the whole crew. "I want full reports on all ship systems by the end of shift. We'll be departing to join my fleet in an hour."

Edi instantly stepped forward. "Done. I will transfer the information to a datapad for your perusal."

Mikhailovich gave her a suspicious look that pissed Joker off even more. "Not necessary. It's a task I set for the crew."

"Hey, she _is_ part of the crew, just like Clay," argued Joker, the rest of the crew nodding in agreement. "Not to mention that it would be totally inefficient to dismiss her report when it will take _us_ hours just to tell you the same damn things."

An accusing finger was raised towards Joker. "You had your warning, Moreau. You're out. Flight Commander Cortez, you've got the helm."

"No, Sir."

Mikhailovich was so shocked by Steve's refusal, Joker was sure the admiral's eyeballs were about to pop out. "It's okay, Cortez," assured Joker. The last thing he wanted was his friend to get in trouble on his behalf, even if the thought of losing the ship was difficult to swallow.

"It's not okay," stated Cortez, moving to stand beside him. "Admiral, you're making a mistake. There's no better pilot than Joker."

"He's one of many, Commander, and you will fall in line or-"

"Or be removed. I get it."

Those eyes squinted again. "Seems respect is not a trait Admiral Shepard demands from her personnel."

"Respect is earned here," Joker grumbled.

"My rank tells you I _have _earned it," retorted Mikhailovich, his affront evident. "Get of my ship."

That rankled Joker beyond measure. "Normandy will _never_ be your ship. But while you're working that out, I'll be glad to go." He started out, Clay following dejectedly, and nausea rose at how bad things had gotten in such a short amount of time. He could still feel the remnants of that anticipation he'd felt on their maiden voyage, just a couple of days ago. How the hell had it come to this?

The walk up the corridor to the airlock was excruciating; his beloved cockpit getting tantalisingly nearer with each step. But it may as well have been an illusion, because his path would only take him further away.

With one last look at the seat he should be in, Joker then turned to face the exit.

"Where do you think you're all going? Get to your stations!" Mikhailovich's angry voice drew Joker's attention, and he was surprised to see Cortez heading the rest of the crew as they walked up the corridor towards him.

"See how well Normandy flies for you without its engineers," called out a scowling Adams over his shoulder.

"Or without her advanced sensors," said Edi.

"Or a pilot," added Cortez, grinning back at Joker.

"I will see to it each and every one of you will be facing a court-marshal for this!" railed the admiral. "This is desertion!"

Only Chakwas stopped to turn to Mikhailovich. "This is a crew standing up for what is right, and standing together. _That_ is what Admiral Shepard would demand from us."

Joker was impressed by the doc. "Actually, she'll probably be completely mortified by what we're doing."

"Walk out, Jeff."

By the time they were all standing in the docking bay, looking at Normandy from the outside, there was a solemn atmosphere.

"Anyone else feel like they've just cut off their noses to spite their face?" Joker grimaced.

"Stand strong, Jeff," said Chakwas, her hand gripping his shoulder as they looked out. "Have faith in Shepard. We'll call Hackett, find out what's going on with our captain, and get this sorted out."

With a nod, Joker gave one last look at his ship. Without Shepard it was just an empty vessel, and he took heart in the thought of Mikhailovich all alone in there. Then the lights went out on the ship and Joker chuckled over at Edi, adjusting the image – all alone, in the dark.

-o-O-o-

Detective Riker Tavitus had the potential to go far. After Garrus had been allowed to call his father - who had promised to get there as soon as he could get a flight to the Citadel - the detective had promptly announced he was retiring for the night, leaving Garrus in a cell, unable to sleep as he stewed over who could have framed him, with no information to form a viable conclusion from.

In the early morning, a refreshed Tavitus had transferred Garrus to the interrogation room to begin his questioning.

A table between him and Tavitus, and with his wrists still cuffed behind him and attached to his chair, Garrus been sat here for five hours now, and was tired and pissed as hell.

It was obvious why the turian had excelled so quickly; few could withstand such an incessant barrage for long. Not that Garrus was intimidated by it, and that meant the young detective was equally as annoyed by the unyielding stare Garrus sent him back. Yet still Tavitus had that dogged look – a look Garrus recognised well from his battles with his father, and he was sure some would say in his own face, too.

"Look, Tavitus," Garrus sighed, reclining casually in his seat. "We can do this all day, but nothing's going to change. I won't admit to something I didn't do."

"The evidence-"

"Is bogus." Garrus leaned forward again, bringing his face closer to Tavitus'. "Someone's setting me up. You need to look closer at the 'evidence'."

"It says _you_ opened that account – an account that received the credits missing from C-Sec raids."

"I said: look closer," asserted Garrus. "Someone's gone to a lot of trouble. Get a tech team to take that data apart."

It was Tavitus' turn to lean back with a sigh. "Because someone's setting you up." He tilted his head as he studied Garrus. "I get why you could be a target, Vakarian," he conceded. "But the problem is, you're not the only one caught red-handed. We have Armando Bailey and Kolyat Krios in custody, too."

"Bailey and Krios!?" Garrus' words came out on the wave of an incredulous laugh. "That's absurd!"

"Is it? There are quite a few notations in Bailey's file that suggest he's not averse to breaking a few rules."

"To get things done, but he isn't a man who puts _himself_ above the law," disputed Garrus, wondering how Bailey and Krios could fit into all this.

"And Krios somehow managed to avoid an attempted murder charge several years back. Instead, he became part of C-Sec."

When it was put like that, Garrus could understand the detective's suspicions, and he ran a hand over the plates of his forehead. They were all in deep shit.

"I think you agree, that doesn't sound like someone who'd be too concerned with the morality of pilfering credits seized during raids," continued Tavitus.

"Krios may have had a bad introduction to C-Sec, but joining our ranks set him on a path he hasn't strayed from. He's a good kid," Garrus insisted.

"With a family. A family who live in a nice apartment in a more affluent part of the wards. Wish I could afford that on my salary…but I can't." Tavitus folded his arms across his chest, almost smugly.

"It's paid for by his inheritance from his deceased father," countered Garrus, seeing where Tavitus was trying to take it.

"His father… Thane Krios. Which means that inheritance was funded by crime. Not to mention that when Kolyat was arrested back then, that _notorious_ assassin walked right into a cell to talk to his son and was allowed to walk right back out again - all while under Bailey's watch, I understand."

"Thane Krios was working with Shepard."

"That's the trouble with Spectres: laws don't concern them," sniffed Tavitus, and Garrus shook his head at the young turian who sounded too much like Garrus' own father once had – before he'd been enlightened by the reality of Shepard.

"Thane Krios redeemed himself by saving the Council," argued Garrus, choosing not to be drawn into a debate over Shepard with this ignorant little up-start. "He died doing it, in fact. But that's besides the point. Kolyat is not the same man as his father."

Tavitus rose, circling the table and Garrus with his hands clasped behind his back. "And then there's you. Like Bailey, you have quite the addendum added to your file. You butted heads with the previous Executor often over your methods, and then you left, followed by the incident that ended with Bailey killing him. Now _you're_ back in C-Sec and sitting in the Executors chair. It's all very cosy."

Garrus could only laugh dryly at that, not bothering to try to keep eyes on the man as he circled; he knew the trick to disorient the prisoner, and he sure as hell wasn't falling for it. Instead, he picked a spot on the table to stare at, reclined again, and crossed his arms. "Oh, so now we all colluded to get me placed as Executor? Wow, Tavitus. That is some conspiracy theory you've devised there, I'll give you that. You know, it stuns me that you can come up with all that crap, and yet you struggle to conceive the concept that someone's setting us up." Now he zeroed in on Tavitus, ready to read his reaction. "Now that either means you're a part of all this, or you've gotten this far in life through pure dumb luck, because it sure isn't down to your brains."

Tavitus stopped, clearly insulted, and Garrus nodded to himself. A guilty man would have remained unaffected, perhaps an air of superiority coming through in the returned gaze. Garrus didn't take kindly to those willing to bury their comrades for their own gain. Sidonis had paid the ultimate price for his betrayal, and Garrus would have made sure Tavitus knew he'd crossed a line that Garrus Vakarian didn't tolerate. But Tavitus was being played, and that was a relief to Garrus; there were enough vipers out there without having them permeating C-Sec.

"Look at the evidence again," he muttered, low and commanding.

The problem was, Tavitus was a young and successful turian, and with that came what humans called a 'God complex': nothing bad could happen to them and being wrong was inconceivable, because they were in their prime and therefore they reasoned their reactions were faster, thoughts were sharper - they were unbeatable. It's why so many died or rotted away in prisons for being used as tools for those far less scrupulous, older and wiser. So when Tavitus straightened and sat slowly back down, Garrus knew the boy was believing all the hype that had accompanied him to the Citadel. A dangerous notion to think you were among the best – not when you'd barely lived. The rest of the galaxy was nothing like Parnack, and so Tavitus had an awakening coming. Garrus preferred it happen sooner rather than later.

"What would anyone gain from setting the three of you up?"

"Now_ that_ is an excellent question." Garrus considered the possible answers, but it was impossible without more information.

"Something the three of you have in common? Asides from your work?"

Despite the fact Garrus knew Tavitus was merely indulging him, the comment dug in. There was only one link that pulled himself, Bailey and Kolyat together asides from C-Sec. "Shepard." His insides clenched, and he stared at Tavitus in a way that had the young detective tensing. "You arrested me before I got to her apartment…."

"And? Unless Bailey and Krios were on their way there too, I don't see the connection. How do their arrests affect anything?"

A nagging worm crawled in Garrus' gut, his pulse thumping a little harder. "You think Bailey wouldn't be the first to know when you arrested me? He'd have been in here straight away, and we'd have got to this same conclusion within five minutes of me being in that cell. He and Krios would be the _only_ ones in C-sec to stand up and question all this bullshit, and they would have been out that door in an instant. You've got to go check Shepard's alright. Now!" Even as he said it, Garrus had a horrible feeling it was too late.

Tavitus rose, but it wasn't hurried, and there was a ghost of a smirk. "You want me to go and bother Admiral Shepard, who'll ask why I'm there, and then send _Spectre_ Alenko to get you out of here. No way, Vakarian. You nearly had me there. Just realised you should have used your one call to contact a Spectre instead of your father?"

Garrus was feeling really agitated now. "Damn it, listen to me! Something's wrong here! Someone wanted you to take me out of the picture. Alenko was out last night. Shepard would have been alone. Send someone to her apartment! Or call Alenko! Check he's there!" He strained against the cuffs, willing Tavitus to see into him; to see only the truth was written in his face. But it wasn't registering. Inexperience was staring back at him, naïve and arrogant.

"I'm getting some lunch. You should try getting some shut-eye, Vakarian. You look beat. We'll be picking this up again when I'm done."

"Tavitus! You have to send someone to check on Shepard! Please!" Garrus didn't care that he was reduced to pleading, only that Tavitus was still walking away. "Ask yourself how you got onto our supposed crimes! I'm betting you got some anonymous tip-off. Right?" The turian's hesitation in the doorway was the affirmation. "Shepard could need help! Don't let your pride put her at risk!"

Tavitus didn't even turn. "She's a former Spectre. You can't tell me she couldn't handle anyone at her door, because I'm not buying it."

Then the door was closing, leaving Garrus alone in the room, frantic and absolutely damned useless. Yes, Shepard could look after herself better than most, but there were always times when even the best needs someone to watch their backs. She'd had her weapon removed; she had her son to protect; and that apartment – how many times had he thought how indefensible it would be? Maybe he was wrong and Shepard was absolutely fine. Spirits, he hoped so. But after the last few years, he'd learned to act on the safe side rather than have regrets later.

Growling with an intense fear and frustration, Garrus could feel a fury erupting from within him at the impotence imposed upon him. The table was the target, not that his enraged kicks did much harm to the reinforced metal that was secured to the ground. But it was his outlet, and when he was spent, he rested his forehead on the cool surface, his fast breath heating the surface.

His only hope was that his father would get here soon.

-o-O-o-

Hackett strode purposefully through the halls of Arcturus, acknowledging no-one as he passed by them on his way to his office.

He'd just come from a meeting with Command where they'd delivered the news that in the early hours eight asari space stations had been decimated, and with them their newest fleets. Evidence collected by the asari pointed to the detonation of bombs. It was a surprising and crippling attack against allies that had no known enemies, except perhaps the batarians, but they were so few since the Reapers tore through them it was hard to contemplate them being able to make a move like that – and Hackett had said so to Command. Except then they'd added that the asari had been quick to assess the data streams that were automatically and continuously transmitted back to the home-world; data that suggested before each and every one of the explosions, _Alliance_ ships had docked and left.

That had left Hackett stunned.

Understandably, the asari were now asking serious questions, and Alliance Command were scrambling for a defence. They worried about a rogue element within their ranks, and as the Admiral in charge of those ships, Hackett was expected to provide answers, and quickly.

As soon as he'd seen the ship names, he knew instantly what linked them_. _

Saying nothing to the men and women sitting in their pristine uniforms behind the long, polished desk, with their thoughts only on swiftly smoothing relations with their allies, Hackett had assured them he'd investigate and get back to them forthwith.

Entering his private work space, Hackett sealed the doors, dropped the datapad with its damning contents onto his desk and opened his omnitool. He'd missed several calls from Karin Chakwas but he didn't have time to call her back now. Something big was going down.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan groaned as consciousness delivered him a hammering head. Light streamed in through a gap in the shades, and he winced as it near-blinded him. Then, as the fog of sleep cleared from his mind, confusion replaced it. There were no windows in his bedroom. Nothing smelled or felt familiar either, and he jerked up, ignoring his protesting head.

He was in a hotel room, and he tried to think back on the night's events – to work out how the hell he came to be here. The last disjointed memory he had was of stumbling through the wards with Rissa on the way to her…hotel room.

An unsettled feeling formed in his stomach as he looked down at his naked form, only a thin sheet covering him from the waist down. Around the bed his clothes were discarded without care on the floor. Onlyhis, he noted with relief.

He looked slowly to the space beside him. Empty but dishevelled. Kaidan's insides squirmed as he reached out to a datapad left on the pillow, and when it was in his grasp he hesitated, his muscles tensing as he activated it.

**Kaidan,**

**Had some errands to run, and I didn't want to wake you. You look so good sleeping there. **

**Not sure you'll be hanging around, so I'll say thank you now for a wonderfully unforgettable and extremely satisfying night – one I'd long ago given up hope of having with you. You were completely worth the wait.**

**I'd very much like to hook up with you again. I'm here for another two days, so call me if you can get away. If not, then I'll look you up next time I'm on the Citadel.**

**Rissa x**

Dropping the datapad like it was radioactive, Kaidan launched himself out of the bed, and started shoving on his clothes, his skin crawling at what those words had screamed at him.

He'd cheated on Terra….

Kaidan got as far as belting up before his stomach warned him that he needed to get to the bathroom.

There was little for his body to purge, and after the initial bout he was reduced to dry-heaving into the toilet bowl. When his body had stopped reacting to his own infidelity, Kaidan stumbled upright, and rinsed his mouth out with water, unable to look at himself in the mirror.

He had to get out of here. Quickly returning to the bedroom, Kaidan focused only on the floor. Grabbing up his t-shirt, he paled as he saw it had been ripped from neck to hem. He was about to discard it, but the thought of leaving anything of his_ here... _Screwing it up, Kaidan shoved it into his pocket before reaching for his jacket, while he planted his feet in his boots, and his fingers shook as they fastened everything.

He had to get home. To his wife. Guilt jabbed its elbow hard into his stomach. He'd broken the trust of the only woman that mattered to him. Being out of his head and unable to remember any of it was no excuse, and he couldn't see how Terra could ever forgive him this. Damn it! She didn't need this on top of everything else! But he wouldn't lie to her….

Emerging out onto the ward, Kaidan halted. Everything was unexpectedly bright and noisy for what he'd assumed was morning, and it seemed to press down on him. The thrum of people made Kaidan realise he had no idea what time it actually was.

Checking his omnitool, Kaidan was appalled to see it was midday. Terra would have gone to bed last night assuming he'd crawl in at some point, and would have certainly expected to wake with him beside her this morning. She'd be worried about him, searching for him, and he didn't deserve her thoughts or her energy. Kaidan noticed there werea lot of notifications of missed calls on his omnitool, but they were nearly all from Joker, the others from media groups. There was nothing from Terra at all, and he found that very troubling.

Kaidan swiftly but self-consciously merged into the flow of pedestrians. It felt like everyone he passed was staring at him, accusingly, and he kept his head and eyes lowered as he hustled through the wards, feeling like scum. At the first opportunity, he ditched the torn t-shirt into a garbage bin, eager to be rid of it.

His omnitool's vibration had Kaidan staring at it in fear. He found no relief that it was Terra's father, but he picked a quiet spot to stop, needing to swallow back the bile before he could answer it.

_"__Kaidan. You've got a problem__."_

'Problem' didn't begin to describe it, but then it wasn't what Hackett was referring to.

_"__Overnight, eight asari space stations were destroyed by acts of terrorism, and Alliance ships were at each location just beforehand; ships I can't make contact with. Needless to say, the asari are looking at the obvious answer.__"_

"Damn…." Kaidan struggled to switch focus from his collapsing personal life to the apparent crumbling of the galaxy. He shook his sore head, cursing the sluggish way his thoughts were forming. "Then we're being framed somehow. Someone's making it look like the Alliance are trying to undermine our allies."

_"__Give us an internal battle to fight, yes. But I think whoever's behind it is also looking to frame _you_, specifically."_

_"_What?"

_"__There's no reason for our ships to have been at those stations. I believe they've been taken out of their crews' hands. For that to happen without so much as a single mayday that they were under attack, it would have to have been an inside job. Taken unawares a crew could probably be brought down by a small group."_

It was a shocking thought, but Kaidan knew it was right. "Take control of the bridge first and you can cut communications. Do it quietly, and no-one would know what's happening on board until they were at the receiving end of a bullet."

_"__Exactly." _Hackett paused, and Kaidan worried what was coming next._ "__Kaidan, every single one of those ships were carrying your Biotic Ops Squads."_

Hackett may as well have kicked Kaidan in the stomach. "No. No, that's not possible. I know those men and women. They're good people." Then he sighed. It was a stupid response borne from shock; you could never know what goes on in other people's heads. "Even if there were a few bad eggs, there's no way they could allbe in on something like that!"

_"__You're preaching to the choir, Kaidan. Suddenly, those strange attacks on our colonies make a lot more sense__."_

Kaidan inhaled sharply. He'd forgotten all about his squads last assignments, and as he thought about it, a new sorrow took shape to accompany the one that had formed upon his waking. "You think my squads didn't make it back, after all."

_"__No, I don't. I think they were ambushed, and whoever is behind it __only__wanted your squads__. __We'll know for certain when we go back and look for any bodies.__"_

Eight squads of talented, brave young people, dead. Kaidan sat heavily down on a nearby bench, his forehead resting in his palms, elbows digging into the flesh above his knees. How the hell had this happened? The reports he'd received were sent by his squads' murderers, and he'd accepted it without question because he'd been too distracted.

_"__So far, Command have no idea about your link to this, but I can't withhold it for long. When they see this, they're going to say the same thing you did: that eight squads aren't likely to __all__go rogue.__"_

The shit-storm headed his way suddenly came into view, and Kaidan leaned back wearily, looking out at normal people going about their normal lives. It wasn't the first time he envied them. "Unless they were acting on orders from their superior," he said on a sigh.

_"__Yes. Whether they'll truly believe it or not, Command will offer up any scapegoat they can get to keep in good with our allies, and are certain to bring it to the Council's attention. Considering how they chose to deal with Terra, I'm guessing they'll be just as quick to cut_ you_ loose. Once that happens there's nothing to stop you being interrogated by Internal Affairs for God knows how long, and we can't risk that. With Terra out of the game, we need you out there, preferably on the Normandy, and only a Spectre will have the authority to take it out of Mikhailovich's hands.__"_

Another bombshell. Terra's ship and crew had been given to another captain. If there were anything that could have exemplified just how fucked up things were right now, it was the Normandy without Terra. He could only imagine how she was taking it, and he hated himself even more for not being with her.

Standing up, Kaidan resumed a fast pace through the throngs.

_"__We need to give them proof someone else is involved with this, and fast. How, I don't know just yet, but I'm thinking it might be a good time to bring in Dr T'Soni__."_

_"_Yeah." The weight of it all was crushing him, and Kaidan fought to keep putting one foot in front of the other. "And we need to reclaim the bodies of my men and women. Get them officially identified and cleared of wrong-doing."

Mistakenly, Kaidan thought things couldn't get worse, but his ears caught the words from a newscast screen he was passing by, and he came to a stand-still.

**_"__…__these images caught by a member of the public last night of the Spectre, General Alenko, in an alleyway with an unknown female. So far, neither General Alenko, nor Admiral Shepard, have been available for comment.__"_**

In horror, Kaidan moved to stare at the recording that was played. It was cast in dark shadow, but there was no disputing it was him, pressing Rissa into the wall of an alleyway, and…. Kaidan almost broke down at the sight of himself kissing her almost savagely, her shirt open and exposing her chest, his hand down her unbuttoned pants. Then she seemed to notice the attention from the person filming them, and dragged them both out of view.

Kaidan braced himself against the sturdiness of the wall. He'd never despised himself more than in that moment, and he battled not to heave again.

_"__Kaidan?"_

Hackett's voice cut through the haze of self-loathing, making Kaidan right himself with a start. A new fear ratcheted up his heartbeat to a painfully fast thudding. Was this why Terra hadn't attempted to call him? Did she already know!? "I- I have to go. I'll get back to you." Then Kaidan was running, pushing himself until he could feel the strain on his chest as his lungs begged for fresh air to replace what he'd been holding all the way to the cabs. Shoving someone rudely out of the way as they attempted to get into the sky-car, Kaidan jumped in, ignoring the protest, and gunned it to its limit through restricted areas, breaking laws he didn't give a shit about.

When he got to the apartment, he didn't brake until the last second, causing those waiting for a cab to scatter aside in case it ran into them. Flinging himself out and onto the Strip, Kaidan rushed up to their apartment, wondering what the hell he could possibly say to her. The thought of her actually seeing the newscast…. He shuddered. When he got to the door he had to stop to catch his breath. As soon as he stepped through this door, everything was going to change for the worse.

Hitting the door release, Kaidan was stunned to see three C-Sec officers standing in his apartment – an asari and two turians - one of whom was holding Nate.

"General. Officer Kildari," introduced the asari officer.

"What's going on?" Kaidan immediately crossed to take his son out of this stranger's hands, cradling him close as Nate smiled at him through red-rimmed eyes that revealed he'd been crying.

"Sir, we were called here after we received an alert from a concerned member of the public over a possible case of child abandonment."

"What!? That's ridiculous! Where's Shepard?" Kaidan's visual search confirmed she wasn't in the vicinity.

"She's not here, Sir. Nor was she when we arrived."

Kaidan's mouth fell open as he stared back them all. Three sets of eyes reflected their judgement of Terra. "She wouldn't willingly leave our son. Ever."

"With respect, Sir, we understand Admiral Shepard has had some…private issues recently."

"She would _never_ leave him alone," Kaidan bit back, his jaw achingly tense.

The asari officer traded a subtle look with her colleagues and took a deep breath before indicating towards the rear lounge. "And then there's this."

She led the way and gestured towards the large screen. Beyond the smashed veneer where something had been thrown hard at it, was the frozen, shameful image from the newscast which had mortified Kaidan earlier. His face blazed with heat, a burning bile rising into his throat. He felt the officers eyes boring into the back of his skull, but their opinions didn't matter to him. Terra had seen this.

"It's clear she was very upset by it, Sir."

Kaidan shook his head, his stomach roiling. He would never believe she could leave Nate alone. "Something's wrong. Get me your Executor."

They all looked at each other again, but before the asari officer could respond, all three of them touched their ear-pieces and turned away to listen. Kaidan took the opportunity to check Nate over. He was freshly changed, and from his contentedness, he didn't appear at all hungry. Where the hell was Terra?

"Sir." The asari officer regained his attention with the urgency in her tone, and she walked past him towards the screen. "We've had an alert out for your wife but it seems the media have found her first." She changed the screen, thankfully removing that awful image of Kaidan with Rissa, only to play the latest news streaming live.

There was Terra, locked in angry exchange with none other than Rissa. She suddenly shoved Rissa hard enough to slam her into a wall, leaving her dazed. While the reporter was smirking through her commentary like it was some kind of televised match, Terra grabbed Rissa's collar and hauled her into a corridor out of sight.

**_"__Well, there you go, folks. Don't get on the wrong side of a former-Spectre," _**laughed the reporter.

Suddenly a shot rang out, and the reporter's smirk was replaced with a wide-eyed look. Kaidan watched it all in shock. That couldn't be Terra – she didn't have a gun. C-Sec officers were running, guns drawn, into the corridor, and Kaidan could hear their shouts for someone to get down on the ground.

Hardly daring to breathe, Kaidan waited along with the reporter and everyone else who had been rubber-necking at the scene.

The first officer emerged, and behind him was Terra, cuffed and covered in blood, surrounded by two other officers. That's when Kaidan almost forgot how to breathe. Her eyes were empty of life.

She couldn't have…. Then medics were running into the corridor, and Kaidan was rooted to that spot, waiting. When they wheeled out Rissa on the stretcher, she was completely covered in a sheet, the blood seeping through the pristine white fabric right where her forehead was.

Terra had killed her…. Had he not seen it with his own eyes, Kaidan would have refuted the possibility until his dying breath, and he hugged Nate in shock. Even under the circumstances, he never imagined Terra could abandon their son to go hunt Rissa down.

The camera zoomed back to Terra as she was led away.

For a moment, his beautiful wife was looking back at him through the screen… but she was like a stranger to him.

**-o-O-o-**


	10. Chapter 10

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter Ten**

Jack stalked from the Alliance carrier's Mess with a plate of food piled up for Rorie. Her jaw was tight, her grip on the plate was a vice, and inside she was angry…and scared. What she'd seen on those newsvids was totally fucked up. How dare Alenko hurt Shepard like that…. What the hell was happening?

Jack had quickly decided to keep Rorie separated from the other students, with their thoughtless and naive comments thrown out into the air with the potential to turn into harmful shrapnel. Jack couldn't risk Rorie hearing about it.

Luckily, a ship had been orbiting the academy in preparation to take some of the older, more accomplished biotic students to the Citadel for a closed session at the Armax Arena as a reward, and Kahlee had agreed to allow her to take Rorie and catch a ride. Not that Jack would have taken no as an answer anyway.

So here they were, an hour out from the Citadel. Jack still had no idea if it was the right thing to do, but it had been her first instinct: to take Rorie back to… what? A broken home?

A fresh streak of fear ran through her. It was stoked by a feeling of utter vulnerability. If Alenko could tear apart what he had with Shepard…. If the Queen of the Girl Scouts could be so fucked up to go and murder someone…. Fuck! What chance did a messed up bitch like herself have? It was freaking her out. She'd opened herself up, too. To James….

The door opened to the small room she'd sequestered – another attempt to keep Rorie away from the gossip that was as rife on board as it was within the academy halls. Only the room was empty.

Cursing, Jack quickly dumped the plate and began hurriedly traipsing through the ship looking for a certain little girl who had a knack for disappearing wherever her big honey eyes roamed. Jack had an idea Rorie would be wherever the students were.

Except she wasn't with the bulk of students who had chosen to hang out in the large communal area. There were a few reluctantly mumbled comments that they'd seen her with some students who had gone down to the bowels of the ship to explore – somewhere they weren't permitted to go - and Jack was certain they sure as hell weren't 'exploring'.

Below engineering, voices trickled down the corridor, and Jack slowed to listen.

"Come on, runt. Show me what you've got."

That was Lowell. Not a fan of Rorie purely because he'd thought he was the best biotic student within the academy, and had never failed to point it out to the others, only to have his nose severely put out of joint when the five year old arrived and outshone him in every way. This was one student Jack couldn't find any affinity for. He had the same belligerent attitude she once had (okay some would say still had), only he came from a wealthy family, all of whom had survived the Reapers. He hadn't known hardship or loss, and from what she'd been able to ascertain, he was well-treated, if not spoilt.

"Leave her alone, Lowell," argued another student.

"Shut up, Carmichael. Speak again and I'll make _you_ the target dummy. Your choice. That goes for the rest of you, too." Lowell's voice was nasty, and there weren't many students who didn't back off when he used it.

Jack caught the glow of biotics emanating from around the corner, and she tensed. But Jack wasn't about to go racing round. She was interested in what Rorie would do. Jack distinctly remembered a similar thing happening to her in the Teltin facility around the same age, and she'd slammed the older boy into the wall as a result. He'd left her alone when he'd finally gotten out of the infirmary. But Rorie had been raised with love, and there was a part of Jack that wanted to know what difference that made.

"So, Alenko?"

Jack could picture Rorie standing there in her specially-tailored uniform, the soft toy varren in her clasp, the cap Joker had given her on her head, and a bulge in her pocket from her small VI, Moon.

"No, thank you."

Jack almost burst out laughing at the sweet, nonchalant voice that wasn't the least bit intimidated by Lowell. Unlike messed up young Jack who'd been programmed to attack, Rorie was walking away.

"What?" Lowell actually sounded taken aback, used to creating fear. "It wasn't a request. Do it. Show me what you've got. Or can't you hack it, _baby_?"

"I can hack some things. Like doors," enlightened Rorie, in her misunderstanding. "Uncle Gus taught me. But only if I can find something to stand on to reach the panel."

Jack caught her snigger in her hand, and there were muffled laughs from the other students.

"What are you talking about? You don't even make sense," said Lowell, and Jack could hear the sneer in his voice.

Then Rorie sighed loudly. "My tummy is talking because it's hungry. I'm going to go feed it now."

Lowell must have been left stunned, because Jack could hear from Rorie's steps that she was nearly at the corner before he found his voice again.

"Hey! Little rat! Did you know your daddy's been fu-"

"Lowell!" Jack yelled before he got any further, swinging round from where she'd propped herself against the wall and marching towards him. "Don't you say a fucking thing, you little shit!"

Lowell struggled to keep the smirk he wore, trying to keep his cool in front of the others, but Jack stood toe to toe with him, daring him to say more. She didn't care he was a kid. He intended to hurt Ror with something she didn't need to know about - not from him, anyway – and Jack was fully prepared to knock him on his ass. Around them, the students were staring nervously, no-one having the guts to break the silence. Except Rorie.

"Auntie Jack! You said naughty words!"

Rorie's cute voice admonishing Jack, softened the tension, and a few started to laugh quietly. With a final warning glare at a now-pale Lowell, Jack addressed them all. "I catch any of you down here again and you'll be going straight back to Grissom."

Waiting for Lowell and the others to slink away, Jack took Rorie's hand and started to lead her back up. "You didn't give in to him. Way to go, Ror."

Rorie shrugged. "He thinks he's scary, but he's just mean. Bullies are boring." Jack loved the way that was accompanied by an eye roll. "But _you_ were scary." She giggled at Jack.

"Yeah, I could see you were trembling in your boots," smirked Jack, sharing a conspiratorial look with the little girl. When they arrived at the next deck, reality came crashing back with the noise from chatting students, and Jack slowed Rorie to a stop before they got within ears reach, crouching in front of her. "Ror, I want you to know that no matter what, your parents love you very much."

"I know," she answered sweetly, like the very notion of it being any other way was inconceivable. "So do you."

Shit, this kid near-damned owned her heart. "Yeah, I do. And you mustn't listen to any crap people might say about them. Not even if it's on the vid-screen."

"Gandpa Hackett said that too, so it must be very 'portant," Rorie said, earnestly.

"It is." Jack hugged her then, because she, the 'psychotic biotic', needed it, and this innocent, beautiful soul never failed to reciprocate. "Now, let's get you some lunch," said Jack, releasing her.

Leading her through the scattered groups of students, Jack almost wished the journey wouldn't end, because she dreaded what awaited them at their destination.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan was getting angrier by the second as he paced the Council Chambers, waiting to be granted an audience. Apparently, they were in deep discussions and couldn't be disturbed, and the logical part of Kaidan said it was understandable given the asari attacks on top of the salarian/krogan issue. But that wasn't the part of him that was ruling. He'd been here for four hours already - his stomach growling and cramping in warning that it hadn't been fed since the evening before - and that unoccupied time had let his thoughts run riot which their shouts of self-accusation, and a continual, dizzying list of problems that just seemed to keep piling up.

Garrus, Bailey and Kolyat had been arrested on some false charge. Another thing for him to deal with, on top of his dead men, a set-up, and the deterioration of the woman he loved, which he'd exacerbated to a shocking degree through his own infidelity. Shit, he hadn't even showered since…. He felt dirty in a way no amount of water would wash clean.

Everything was a mess. He'd arrived at C-Sec at the same time as many of Terra's crew, most of them hiding their judgement, except for Joker. Chakwas had wanted to be allowed to see Terra as her doctor, concerned over her mental health, but she'd been promptly reminded that Dr T'Esana was her attending physician now, and the asari doctor had been notified. Kaidan had been about to use his Spectre status to change that, but he'd been thwarted. The Council had given the lead detective, Tavitus, official permission to keep Terra and the others detained for as long as he deemed necessary, as well as full autonomy over their cases. It was a power Tavitus was utilising.

_"__I want to see my wife. And this evidence you have against your colleagues."_

_"__Then you'll need to get Council permission, because_ _I'm not about to hand over my evidence to a well-connected friend of those in my custody.'_ It was delivered by the turian in a way that suggested he wasn't a fan of Spectres. _"As for your wife, I'm not permitting her visitors until I have her statement, and unfortunately she's chosen the silent route. Considering her reaction to the news this morning, I'd imagine you wouldn't be too welcome, anyway. That was a rather salacious headline we all woke up to."_

Kaidan's teeth clenched together at the memory. He couldn't over-rule the _Council's_ order - not without consequences - and Tavitus had known it. There was a simmering anger jostling with the biotics beneath his skin. He wasn't used to walls he couldn't break through with the word 'Spectre', and for the first time in a long while he felt restricted when it mattered the most. It was Shepard and the SR-1 being sidelined when they needed to stop Saren on Ilos, all over again, and like Terra, he felt the need to punch something. The Council were keeping him from Terra.

An asari aide appeared, aiming towards him, and Kaidan halted, hopefully.

"Spectre Alenko."

"Finally!" He knew his desperation was coming through.

"I'm sorry, General, the Council are still unavailable, but Councillor Osoba has requested I pass this to you."

Taking the datapad, Kaidan bit back the urge to shout obscenities loud enough for the damned Council to hear. Instead, he gave an abrupt thanks to the aide who immediately left.

**Alenko, **

**I apologise for this. I can assure you there's good reason we're locked in session, but I also know it's no consolation to you. As I'm unable to excuse myself from this meeting, I've assumed why you came. I've attached my personal authority for you to have full access to Shepard, though I hope you understand that I cannot go as far as permitting her release. **

**I will be in contact with you once we've concluded business here, but in the meantime, my thoughts are with you all at this difficult time.**

**Dominic Osoba**

Aware that he didn't have any means to help Garrus, but that it would be pointless remaining, Kaidan started out of the chambers at speed.

-o-O-o-

Hackett sat in his office in silence.

It didn't make sense. Hackett knew with an unshakeable certainty that Kaidan loved Terra with every cell in his body, and that Terra would never harm someone who wasn't armed and dangerous, no matter her own feelings towards that person.

Everything was wrong, and as far as he was concerned, that was enough to question it all. There were clever players out there – that much he already knew – who were out to discredit Kaidan. Maybe this was another avenue to that attack. A more insidious one, but no less destructive. And if Kaidan was being manipulated and toyed with, than just maybe Terra was too….

He pondered that. Her sudden decline had taken them all by surprise. What if there was something behind that? Could someone have messed with her head somehow? Chakwas hadn't found any substances in Terra's body but that just meant that it wasn't something they could detect. Of course, that didn't explain the footage currently being broadcast.

Slumping back in his chair, Hackett couldn't ignore the damned recordings. It contradicted everything. To make things worse, he couldn't get rid of the image of Terra looking like an empty shell. It made him angry, and didn't know if he had Kaidan to blame or someone else. With a sudden burst of anger, Hackett swept the mess of datapads off his desk, and they smacked into the wall before clattering to the ground. Staring at the mess he'd made, he waited for his racing pulse to abate.

There was a chime from his door, and he stood with an irritated sigh. Opening the door, he placed his whole body in the entrance so the ensign wouldn't see the evidence of his loss of control, surprising the young man with his proximity. Recovering quickly, the ensign stepped back to a more respectful distance and saluted.

"Admiral Hackett, Sir. I've been tasked to bring you this." The ensign handed him another bloody datapad. "And I'm to inform you that Internal Affairs have arrived and would like to meet with you."

Damn. Hackett had known they'd show eventually, but he'd hoped for longer. "Show them to conference room six."

"Yes, Sir." With another salute the ensign strode purposefully away.

Re-sealing the door, Hackett studied what he'd been handed. It was from the asari investigators – a detailed report of the bombs used – and he wasn't anticipating these results. Turian.

"Very clever." Hackett decided that the turians were involved in this as much as the Alliance were – not at goddamned all. And there lied the ingeniousness. This would have all the races looking closely at each other, the first tendrils of distrust forming, ready to take root and spread.

Hackett crouched to collect up the datapads he'd abused, a couple of them now displaying cracked screens. Pulling out the one that contained his report on his ships involved in the asari station attacks, he dumped the rest on his desk.

What was in his hand was not only likely to be the first nail in the coffin for Kaidan, but could also have consequences for Hackett. He was too closely connected to Kaidan for Internal Affairs to ignore. He needed to prepare.

-o-O-o-

Eve stood beside Grunt as they looked out at the mass of clan Jorgal that had congregated a short distance from the borders of Urdnot's territory. In response, their own warriors were armed and ready, though Eve had suggested they held back within the confines of their buildings. The atmosphere was thick with male hormones and their foolish desire to fight, and once the first shot had been taken, there would be no pulling them back.

This was a fight they did not need, else they'd only begin the process of wiping the krogan out for whomever wanted it so.

Yet Jorgal had yet to make a move, and Eve wondered why. It was a restraint she'd not expected from Thurak.

Then there was movement from Jorgal, and Grunt raised his fist in silent order to continue their hold. Their forces were parting for two krogan. Thurak and…. Eve couldn't believe who she was seeing, and all around her she could hear the surprised murmurs of her clan. His face was badly scarred but his identity was indisputable.

The two approaching krogan stopped at the edge of Urdnot's claim, but only one spoke.

"I am Wreav! Brood-brother of Wrex! You thought me dead, killed by Kalros herself! But here I stand! I survived Kalros!"

As her clan's murmurs turned approving, Eve knew Urdnot was in trouble. The males only saw strength, but Eve saw more. Wreav would not have survived Kalros without significant injury, and he wore evidence of that upon his face. Clan Jorgal may have been closer to where he'd gone down than Urdnot, but a male as stubborn as Wreav would never have chosen to go to Jorgal no matter how close to death he was. It was likelier that Jorgal had found him and had seen an opportunity. Body weakened, even a strong mind like Wreav's could break under prolonged pressure. Now here he was, and Eve knew that if Urdnot accepted him as their leader, their clan would fall.

"Wrex has knelt before the Council races! Our enemies think us submissive! I saw this as I watched over Urdnot from afar, and I could not stand by as Wrex continued on this path, destroying our culture in order to appease aliens who wait for us to weaken so they can wipe us out. So I return to Urdnot to offer to take my place as your leader! Or will you continue to cower before a female and a tank-bred?"

There was a rumble of growls that travelled through Urdnot.

"Clan Jorgal remember the way we were. They seek to return the krogan to the proud race we once were. A race that bowed to no-one. A race that was feared! A race that ripped our enemies to shreds! The salarians will find any excuse to finish what they started, and we must be ready for them! I say Urdnot should stand with Jorgal! And fight!"

The roars weren't solely confined to Jorgal's males, and even Grunt was gripping his weapon tighter as he nodded his head.

"But I do not expect you to follow me blindly, after I have spent so long apart from Urdnot," continued Wreav. "Brothers, I will wait. Make your own decision. Our enemies will come. They will darken the skies. And then you will know Wrex was wrong to trust them. You will know _I_ am right. And I will be ready to lead you in our fight should you choose to follow me!"

That was a surprising move. One that suggested more thought than Eve was used to witnessing from their males. It would sway many of Urdnot far more than forcing himself into position.

Something would start to happen out there in the galaxy soon. Something that would provoke the salarians further and into action. They would declare the krogan hostile, and when that happened, Urdnot's males would stand with Wreav without question.

Somehow, Eve had to stop that from happening.

-o-O-o-

The tension within Kaidan climbed the closer he got to the C-Sec office. Joker was still there, pacing in agitation, and he could hear Chakwas arguing with Dr T'Esana on her omnitool, demanding the asari prioritise Terra. He couldn't believe T'Esana had yet to see to her. The others had drifted off, though Kaidan suspected they wouldn't have gone far. Cortez had likely taken Nate back to the apartment after this long; he'd have needed changing and feeding.

Joker's eyes lit with fury when they fixed on him. "Where the hell have you been!?"

"The Council wouldn't break from their meeting to see me."

"Then you should have beat down the damn door! You're a Spectre, aren't you?"

Kaidan let Joker rail.

"Damn it! Do something to fix this!"

Kolyat's wife, still looking as stunned as when he'd seen her earlier sat at a detective's desk, was now reaching out to him.

"Can you get them out now?"

Once again, Kaidan was hit with inability. "I'm sorry, Kalisa. But I'm not giving up." Kaidan squeezed her hand where it gripped his arm, in an attempt to offer her comfort. "Go home. Get some rest, and try not to worry too much. I'll get this sorted."

With a shaky breath, Kalisa nodded her belief in him. "Yes…. I left Thian with a friend. I should- I should go get him." She tried to smile before leaving. Watching her trudge out, Kaidan felt her desolation.

It was then that Garrus' father came striding out of the cells, spotting Kaidan instantly, and making his way over.

"Teryck," greeted Kaidan. "How's Garrus?"

"Not good. Took me too damned long to get a flight here. He was practically frothing at the mouth by the time I got in there. The first thing he did was tell me to get to Shepard. He didn't take it well when I told him she was in the cell opposite. I would suggest you don't try speaking with him. He's about ready to tear your throat out right now."

Kaidan was too hung up on Teryck's previous statement to linger on Garrus' ire towards him. "Wait a minute. Why would he tell you to get to Shepard?"

"He was certain that his arrest stopped him from getting to Shepard last night, and Bailey and Kolyat's arrests meant that no-one else in C-Sec would listen to what he's saying and act on it. Now, with Shepard clearly safe, it puts us at square one as to why someone wants the three of them out of the way. What we need is to scrutinise that evidence."

"And I still don't have the Council's okay to over-ride their earlier order," sighed out Kaidan.

"Daddy!"

That voice speared Kaidan and warmed him at the same time, and he turned to Rorie as she raced across the ward at full speed towards him, with a scowling Jack trailing after her. Then Rorie was leaping and Kaidan caught her, appreciating the too-tight squeeze round his neck. "It's a wonderful surprise to see you, honey, but what are you doing home already?"

"Auntie Jack said I had to come. But I can't go with the others to the 'rena because I'm too small." That was accompanied by a deep frown, a pout, and the folded arms of petulance.

Kaidan glanced briefly at Jack, only to feel the dagger of her dark look, poised ready to strike with the promise of a lot of pain. He could deal with that. It was imagining the hurt in Terra's eyes that tore at his heart, and he swallowed as he prepared himself to face it. "Never mind, honey. You're growing all the time," he assured his daughter. Rorie's lovely smile returned and Kaidan worried what all this would do to her when that inquisitive mind began questioning. "I have to go talk to…someone, so I need you to wait here for me, okay?"

"'Kay."

With relief that she hadn't asked who, Kaidan placed her back on her feet.

"Alenko! Shepard still left your quad intact?" Wrex's deep bellow made Kaidan wince.

"Should have known _you'd_ approve, Wrex," moaned Joker, as the krogan and his entourage joined them.

Wrex waved it away. "Males sow their seed. It's natural. You humans need to stop being so possessive over each other. What I have a problem with is what Shepard did. That wasn't like her." He looked around. "You're a Spectre. So why's she still in there?"

"The Council blocked me from interfering."

"Damn Council," growled Wrex. "Want me to go tear Shepard's door down? Get her outta there?" His thick arm gestured towards the cells, and the officers guarding him tensed at the threat as the two salarians Kaidan now recognised, grinned.

"Uh, not necessary."

"But he _can_ at least go talk to her now," interrupted Joker, impatiently. "So let him go do it already."

"But mommy's not here."

Everyone looked down at the little face staring up at them, and Kaidan's felt a chill start to form as he squatted to look his daughter on her own level. "You don't feel mommy?"

"Nuh uh."

"That just means she's closed herself off," butted in Jack, in irritation, that accusing glare burrowing into Kaidan.

But he knew the connection formed by the spores didn't work like that. Terra had explained it to him herself. She said as soon as she reached out she could feel Rorie's mind, even when their daughter didn't invite her in to see what was inside (because she was doing something naughty). Like being outside someone's home when the lights were on; it was up to them if they let you in, but you know they're there. And conversely, Terra always knew when Rorie was connecting. It was akin to a knock at the door. "Are you sure?"

Rorie paused, clearly focusing on that connection only she and her brother had with Terra. Then she shook her head. "Nate's here. But mommy's too far away," said Rorie, with certainty.

"That's not… That doesn't make sense!" worried Joker. "Cortez took Nate back to your apartment. Shepard's right in there!"

"What the hell's going on?" said Jack, her quiet voice indicating how unnerved she was, and Kaidan understood that completely.

Straightening, Kaidan walked into C-Sec, handed the datapad to Tavitus before the turian could say a word, and demanded access to the cells, immediately. With Tavitus' begrudging nod to the officer on duty, the human quickly released the doors that led to the cells. There were five on each side of the corridor.

"Admiral Shepard is in the far right," said the officer.

The cell loomed with each step Kaidan took, but he now had a fear that went far beyond anything he'd had before. Garrus had been convinced Shepard was at risk last night, and Rorie was saying Terra wasn't here….

Who was he going to see in that cell? And what did that mean for Terra?

**-o-O-o-**


	11. Chapter 11

**-o-O-o-**

**Chapter Eleven**

Shepard's head was cloudy as she emerged groggily into consciousness, her system still struggling against the sedative they'd given her since they'd gotten her on their ship, and had kept dosing her with every time she'd woke. As such, she remembered little: the feeling of cold metal beneath her cheek that vibrated – a ship in flight; scrape marks across the floor of the empty room where heavy things had been dragged – a cargo hold; a smirking batarian.

She lay on her side now, her wrists tied too tight behind her so her hands throbbed, and from the grey concrete-like floor and walls that surrounded her, Shepard ascertained she was no longer on a ship.

How long had she been out? Hours? Days? It was disorienting, and with no windows it was impossible to determine what time of day it was, let alone _where_ she was. She strained to hear something that might give her a clue, but asides from the low indecipherable murmurs of batarians talking, there was nothing. She knew what she was doing: focusing on anything except what might await her. It was preferable to letting her mind run through a slew of sickening possibilities.

Then came the sound of boots. Four, maybe five approaching, and Shepard tensed as they stopped outside the door. There was no need for so many when she was bound, and that meant something bad for her.

When the door slid open, three batarians stalked in and stood over her, while a fourth simply stepped in then moved to the side of the doorway. Their leader remained in the entrance, arms folded and staring back at her with undisguised hatred. Beyond him, all Shepard could see was more grey walls.

"Good. I didn't want to start until I had your full attention."

Not intimidated, Shepard opted to meet the lower pair of eyes, holding the gaze. "Who are you?"

He glared back a while longer. "I was Captain of the Batarian External Forces, before the Reapers decimated Khar'shan. Now I'm the highest ranking member of what little remains of our Hegemony. You thought you'd gotten away with murdering hundreds of thousands of my people, but _I_ have not forgot, and today we finally begin our reckoning."

Even now, Shepard still felt that wrench in her gut at the thought of what she and Thane had been forced to do to stop the Reapers arrival. Forced. "You know why I had to do that. None of us would be here now if I hadn't."

The batarian slammed his fist into the door jamb in his rage. "I don't believe you! How could six months have made that much difference? And the Reapers were defeated. My people would have had a fighting chance of surviving. I think you saw an opportunity while you flew under that terrorist banner, and you took it. You really expect me to believe it wasn't payback for my attempt to destroy Terra Nova? An attempt foiled by the man _you_ bed?"

Shepard knew about the batarian plot to fly an asteroid into Terra Nova. Kaidan had spoken of it. It was a mission he and his first biotic squad had undertaken while she'd still been laid out on Cerberus' lab table. This batarian was Balak.

Frustration and fury rushed forth like a dam released. This bastard had spat out the term 'terrorist' like he was something better. "No matter how you want to twist it, _everything_ I've done was through necessity. Tell me, what 'greater good' did you serve by ordering my baby son's death?"

Suddenly, he was in her face, digging a hand into her hair and using it to yank her face up to his. "You killed mine! I have the _right_ to take yours! I detested you humans before – taking what was due to us, cosying up to the Council with your practiced diplomacy, joining in their protest of our culture – but now… now you've become vermin, spreading into every crevice. You sit on the Council and dictate, and all the while Admiral Shepard is lauded as a hero, while they ignore the blood on her hands. I. Want. Justice."

Throughout the tirade, Shepard could see a crazed look to his eyes as they blazed at her. He was so filled with hate that it had driven him beyond reasoning. "And what's your justice? You could have killed me back on the Citadel. You've gone to a lot of trouble."

Releasing her, he visibly calmed himself, then went to lean casually against the wall beside his unmoving associate. "It's true. We didn't have the resources to get access to you. You were beyond our reach. Until someone offered me this chance for retribution. He gave me the means to do it, with one proviso: I just had to play his game first. Make Shepard appear unstable; tarnish her name with a murder charge; turn her into a wanted criminal. Oh, and play with Alenko at the same time. I'd have happily done more to teach him a lesson for getting in my way."

The revelation that they'd framed her for someone's murder was put to the bottom of her concerns as she worried about Kaidan. "What have you done to him?"

"Your question should be what's he done to _you_? But you'll see soon enough."

Shepard didn't understand what that meant but it filled her with unease, which was what he wanted, so she covered it with more questions. "Who exactly is behind all this?"

Balak shrugged. "Someone with plenty of credits and information to make him powerful. Beyond that, you don't need to know." With a jerk of his head, his men pushed her onto her front, one holding down her legs, another her torso, while the third removed something small and metallic from his pocket while releasing his blade from its holster at his hip.

Shepard had seen enough of the atrocities used by batarians slavers to know what was coming. It was a control device. It would attach itself to her nervous system, ready to deliver a crippling current throughout her body. Strangely, it was the fourth batarian stepping forward with his omnitool open, recording what was about to happen, that sent her a chilling streak through her.

Her head was forced face-down so her forehead was pressed into the hard floor, her hair yanked out of the way to expose her nape. Gritting her teeth as the blade sliced through skin and flesh, she didn't make a sound. Then the cold metal of the device was pushed mercilessly into her wound, sending tears of agony into her eyes. There was a beep as it was activated, and the device sent numerous tiny jagged barbs deeper into her flesh where she could feel them seeking her neural pathways and latching on. She fought back her body's attempt to heave, instead focusing on the feel of the blood flowing down and around her neck, and the warmth it brought to her skin before it dripped onto the floor.

Her wrists were then released from the cuffs and the weight lifted from her as the batarians stood and left, their job done. Only the one recording, and Balak remained, both confident enough in the device that they didn't feel the need to arm themselves now she was unrestrained, and the door was wide open.

Balak just stood there, relaxed. "I'm going to break you."

Shepard got to her feet, adopting a strong, proud military stance, knowing her defiance would earn her a ton of pain. "You can try."

He just chuckled back, tapped his omnitool, and Shepard keeled over instantly as the current travelled through her with shocking intensity, messing with her equilibrium and causing her jaw to clench along with every other muscle in her body. It was unrelenting. Her lungs seized, her heart stuttered in her chest, unable to maintain a rhythm. And then it stopped, and she was left gasping and shivering as her body tried to recover from the shock.

"You will kneel before me and beg to serve."

"Fuck you," she exhaled, putting as much vehemence behind it as she could manage. As anticipated, it induced another wave of excruciating pain, but even as she was left to once again gasp life back into her tormented body, Shepard felt a familiar tingle at her nape. The spores. They lined her nervous system. Could they help against a physical invasion too? It was something to hope for.

"I've set it to frequent intervals. You will learn that I am your only means of relief. You'll come to yearn my presence. You'll beg for it. And you'll do whatever I ask of you to keep me happy."

"Keep dreaming." She bit back the scream as she was subjected to another. He would not hear her pain. Again, when it finished, she was acutely aware of the spores reacting.

Balak crouched down to where she lay on the floor, her chest still heaving, and his mouth turned to a cruel twist. "My people are all but wiped out, and for those left, I will see them witness some justice before they join their dead families. I'm Ka'hairal Balak. But you will call me Master."

They left as the next current took her, but this time, when it ceased, Shepard was certain it had been less intense. Only time would tell.

When sections of the walls slid away to reveal large vid-screens protected by clear barriers, Shepard prepared herself for some form of psychological assault to accompany the pain which wracked her every minute – footage of them torturing other humans maybe, to show her own fate.

What she could never have expected to see was a news broadcast of Kaidan so intimate with another woman. It dealt a heart-crushing pain that sliced through her more savagely than anything they had done to her so far, before her common sense regained control. If someone had told her he'd betrayed her, she would never believe them. Not Kaidan. Seeing this should have proven it, but she'd been at the end of these people's tricks already. Nothing was as it seemed when they had a race that could look like anyone they chose. That wasn't him.

Closing her eyes to refuse the horrid lie, she then had to endure the device's punishment again, only to find that image of Kaidan lingered at the back of her mind when it ceased, like it had been seared there the moment she'd looked. She didn't believe, but it wouldn't leave her, and she could feel it tainting her regardless, as she worked to ready her already exhausted body for the next wave.

Anger flared. She wouldn't let them poison her feelings for Kaidan. She wouldn't go down without a fight.

-o-O-o-

Kaidan came to Garrus' cell first, the viewing window revealing the turian pacing restlessly. Then Garrus spotted him, freezing in place as those sharp eyes pierced Kaidan with unquestionable antipathy. Awkward. It's not like he could wave to the imprisoned turian. He could already imagine the responding gesture if he did. … Was Garrus even able to give him the finger?

Raking his hand over his head at the bizarre direction his thoughts had gone, Kaidan let his feet carry him on to the end, his gaze suddenly rooted to the next window, and his heart pounding.

And then he could see her.

Kaidan stopped dead, staring in at the beautiful woman inside who made his heart ache. She was sat on a mattress atop a pull-down platform that served as a bed, her back flush against the wall, her arms hugging her legs to her chest, and her cheek resting atop her knees. She looked as alone as Kaidan felt. Surely Rorie had gotten it wrong somehow. But his gut said no.

Steeling himself, Kaidan moved to the door, his hand hesitating only briefly over the door release before he pressed it. The doors slid open, and the first thing Kaidan noticed was the absence of that unique scent his wife possessed.

His throat was so dry he could barely swallow as he stepped in. Despite everything that was wrong here, he still saw _her_. "You're not my wife." The words came as though from a strangled man.

Her head jerked up, and she stared back at him like he was her salvation. It wasn't a look Kaidan was expecting, and when she stood with her hand extending towards him, Kaidan took a cautious step back.

"I am sorry." The voice was like a whisper, and then Terra's face changed, her skin paling until it was almost white with its translucence, and her hair appearing to dissolve into nothing.

This being standing in Terra's uniform wasn't a race they'd ever encountered before, and Kaidan was left open-mouthed in astonishment. Only his concern for Terra brought back the anger. "What have you done with my wife?"

"I will show you." The female offered her hand, and Kaidan stared between it and her face.

"They won't let you walk out of here. You have to tell me."

"Yes." Again with the hand.

Without understanding what this woman was hoping to achieve, Kaidan slowly touched his fingers to her fused ones.

The second he felt her touch his mind, Kaidan snatched back his hand, breathing heavily from whatever the hell that was.

"I must go." There was melody in the overly soft tone of this woman's voice. "But I wait. For you. To show you."

He sensed an intense desperation, but no malevolence. Was this race able to communicate like the protheans? If so, she was offering to give him some answers….

HIs body taut with unease, Kaidan placed his hand in hers.

_She faces the door wearing the face of another, about to open it, but she really doesn't want to. She's touched this human's mind; seen the person inside. It isn't fair. But she _has_ to. The Master will hurt her children if she doesn't. No choice! _

_The Master and his men are waiting. They hunt the human. Shepard. She's winning. The Master won't like that. He doesn't like defiance. He will beat it away and threaten the young. And he does. The baby! Shepard surrenders. Protect the baby. _

Kaidan could feel what…Zaliesh…felt as he saw it all through her eyes. What haunted him was Terra's tortured face as they used Nate against her after she fought so hard to stop them - an impossible task in that environment. Then he had flashes of Terra's broken face up close, before Zaliesh put her mind at ease over their son. When the batarians left with Terra, Zaliesh had run back up to Nate's bedroom, retrieved him from the closet and returned him to the comfort of his cot. She'd cared for him until she'd had to go.

_She does as she was instructed. She watches the screen that plays images. She sees one of her kin posing as Shepard's soulmate, involved in an act of intimacy with another. She's looks away. It's meant to hurt these people. Now she has to leave. She doesn't want to. She has no choice._

There were more flashes of memory, joined with fear, as she traversed the strange 'Citadel'.

_She goes to where she was shown. A master is there with one of her kin, Vasha. He nods it is time. She takes the pill, looking at Vasha, who now looks like a human female._

Rissa. Kaidan doesn't have a chance to consider that more as the memory continues.

_She feels the poison inside her, changing her, creating a feeling she does not know or understand. It's red, fire, driving forward, devouring everything in its path, blinding her brain with its intense desire to burn without reason. She can't control it and it frightens her. _

Kaidan knew it was anger, a feeling so common in every other race he'd encountered, including his own, yet astoundingly unknown to this one.

_Vasha is walking out into the open, amongst the people, and she knows she has to follow. She has to perform. She remembers the words she had to learn, the tone she had to use: so savage, like the beasts that try to prey on her kin. The burn accompanies her until she's sure she has become a beast herself. She shouts at Vasha, the words spilling out as she's been taught, her hands clutching at Vasha with a harshness that shocks her. She has no control. _

_She pushes Vasha, and her hands meet hers. She connects. 'Now, sister.' It is a deadened thought from Vasha, with no life behind it. Vasha is an empty shell following orders. Just like her…? _

_She has no choice. She drags Vasha into the corridor. It's hidden away; never used. No-one can see. A master is here, a human female on her knees, dazed by another poison put within her. This is the face Vasha wears. _

_The master approves and she feels worse. He makes her stand in front of him as he kills the female. The human's head bursts a circle of red that splatters her clothes and face. She doesn't want to wear the dripping life of this woman._

Seeing Rissa murdered like that…. And simply to sully Terra?

_The master puts something on her wrist that belonged to Shepard – she remembers the human speaking into it – and then she's told to hold the metal that kills. The master hurries out of sight with Vasha who wears a different face now. _

_The people appear, shouting, threatening, but she feels no fear. They will not be as cruel as the masters. The metal – the 'gun' - is knocked from her hand. She's forced to the ground. Her wrists are bound. She's made to walk out amongst the people. They see Shepard. It's not fair. But she has no choice. _

_There should be no hope, but she has read Shepard's mind and these people share the traits of she and her kin. They love, they care. But there is more within them. They seek to protect even those they do not know, with their ability to stand strong against the cruel things, where she and her kin could not. Could she make contact? Shepard's soulmate will come. Dare she wait?_

The connection broke and Kaidan was left stunned. Terra had been left alone to face all that, believing for a time that their son was dead. "Where is she? Where have they taken Shepard?" Kaidan kept his tone as gentle as he could. Zaliesh didn't deserve the harsh words of a demand.

"Away from here. I am sorry. That is all I know. I must go. I have waited too long." Zaliesh started to remove her clothes, and Kaidan would have looked away had she not begun to fade out.

No, she wasn't fading, she was _blending_ into the surroundings, her skin changing and reflecting until she seemed to disappear. It was as effective as Terra's cloak. Zaliesh was a humanoid chameleon. One who could also reach a mind through touch. Now Terra's 'hallucinations' had a whole new, astounding explanation.

"Forgive me." This time her voice came from behind him.

She was just walking out, and despite her hand in Terra's abduction, Kaidan felt no compulsion to raise the alarm. Through her memories he had picked up the base fear of the batarians that had tried to stamp out her own will so they could control her. Saving Nate and lingering long enough to communicate this all to him... those were the last remains of who she was, surviving despite the psychological damage that was meant to leash her. Preventing her escape would doubtless bring about some horrible reprisal that he wouldn't be responsible for. Zaliesh was a hostage in need of rescue.

Moving back into the corridor, but unable to see any sign of her, Kaidan knew there was no way for him to track Zaliesh. Her camouflage was perfect. He just hoped that she would be okay until he found out where they were. And he would.

"Everything okay, Sir?" asked the asari officer guarding the open doorway at the opposite end of the corridor that Zaliesh had probably already escaped through.

With a start, Kaidan realised he was standing outside an empty cell. A cell where C-Sec believed they held Terra. This was going to look bad…. The enormity of the situation he was in instantly doubled.

"Uh, yeah. As well as it can be." Making a show of closing the cell door with a forced calm, Kaidan then walked out, not glancing at Garrus as he passed his cell again. He needed to get away from here.

As he exited, Kaidan saw Joker, Wrex and the others tensing with anticipation when they saw him, and he kept his gaze forward as he walked by the detective.

"Spectre Alenko."

Freezing, Kaidan turned to Tavitus.

"Did your wife say anything?"

"It was like you said: I'm not her favourite person right now. She wouldn't speak to me." Kaidan cleared his throat around the lie. "Excuse me, Detective, but I need to arrange some kind of legal representation for her and the others."

"Sound move."

"In the meantime, I'll ask you to refrain from questioning any of them until then."

Hoping that would buy him some time before they found out their prisoner had disappeared, Kaidan walked swiftly out, inclining his head to indicate the others follow him as he picked up Rorie in one swift move. "Teryck could I have a word with you as we walk?" Thankfully, Garrus' father acquiesced, and Kaidan moved closer to Wrex, keeping his voice low. "I need you to take your guards elsewhere."

Wrex gave him an appraising stare in response. "Causing your own trouble, Alenko?"

"Something like that."

"Hey! What's going on?" pressed Joker, his voice raised to be heard as he struggled to keep up, and clearly getting angrier by the second.

Without needing further explanation, Wrex peeled away from them, taking his C-Sec followers and the intrigued-looking salarian duo with them.

"Kaidan?" questioned Chakwas, but unlike Joker, she was the picture of worry.

Slowing slightly so Joker could catch up, Kaidan couldn't believe what he was about to say. "We're taking Normandy."

"What!? Where!?" Joker nearly stopped, but Kaidan urged him on with a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Anywhere that's away from here," was all he could answer.

"Any other time I'd be cheering you on," said Jack, "but all I see is a cheating ass-" she stopped herself completing that slur when Kaidan flashed a warning look that flicked briefly to Rorie who was watching them intently. "You're running away," charged Jack.

"Nuh uh. Daddy's going to get mommy. Because he's lost her. Haven't you, daddy?" Rorie tilted her head right in front of his, ensuring she had his full attention. "She can't tell you where she is, can she?"

Sometimes, his daughter's ability to piece things together to get close to the truth, scared the hell out of him, and he hugged her tighter. "No, she can't, but you're not to worry, because we'll find her."

"I know."

Christ, if only he had as much faith in himself. "Joker, get a message to the rest of the crew. They have to get there a-sap." Then he passed Rorie to Chakwas with a look she understood, falling back to the rear while he made a call. "Steven, I've got to leave the Citadel," he said the second Hackett answered. "I don't have time to explain right now, and this is going to sound crazy, but that wasn't Terra they arrested. She's been taken off the station by batarians."

Beside him, Joker and Jack looked stunned, while Teryck frowned at the knowledge that Garrus' fears had been right.

"_I'm going to take you at your word on that, because I can confirm you're running out of time. I had to hand my data over to Internal Affairs, and as a result the fleets have been removed from my command. They're recalling all ships, including those I just sent to find your squads. I told them everything we believe, but they'll investigate at their own speed, and I'm not holding my breath. We know from experience they like to act first and think about the sense of it all after."_

Kaidan silently cursed. A net was closing in, one that would tie his hands completely if he didn't evade it, and it was coming from his own allies. How the hell had these batarians accomplished it? He finally had a chance to address Garrus' father. "Teryck. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for Garrus right now." Kaidan winced with guilt. "But I wanted you to know that Garrus was right, and I won't forget about him."

"_Don't worry about Garrus,_" said Hackett, reminding them all he was still there. "_I've been in touch with Dr T'Soni and filled her in on what little we know and what position we're in. She assures me she can get Garrus out. Don't ask me how._"

"It's good enough for me," answered Teryck. "I should go update Garrus. Good luck, Alenko."

As Teryck turned to go back, Kaidan's stomach dropped as he saw Dr T'Esana passing by them, too distracted with her omnitool to notice him as she headed towards C-Sec. "Oh shit." He took back Rorie from Chakwas and picked up the pace, aiming towards the elevator, feeling that countdown nearing its end. "Steven, we're not going to make it. C-Sec are going to find an empty cell and they're going to suspect I had a hand in it."

"_Do what you can to get on that ship. With Terra out there somewhere, it's more paramount than ever that we have Normandy _and_ you. I have to go. With luck, I'll see you soon." _

Barrelling into the elevator with the others, Kaidan was feeling the pressure. Never had he imagined he'd have the threat of C-Sec hanging over him.

By time they'd made it out and began heading for Normandy's bay, a station-wide alert sounded. Shortly after, his omnitool delivered a message from the Council and he didn't need to open it to know what it would say, though he almost laughed when he saw he'd only warranted three succinct words.

**Spectre status: revoked.**

From where he was, Kaidan could see Normandy in place, just waiting for them. Now it would be placed in lockdown. Security teams were already moving to guard the bay's entrance.

He was too late.

**-o-O-o-**

**A.N. I didn't use the 'Bring Down the Sky' DLC in 'Struggle', so Shepard never met Balak, and so I gave that pleasure to Kaidan.**

**Thank you to everyone still following this, and as always, I appreciate any feedback.**


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